Now I'm stuck here, feeling like a total idiot. Your name doesn't show up on my phone any more. It's been three months and your sweatshirt still lives in my bed. I've had that sweatshirt for almost a year. I don't see you at school since you graduated. I still have a picture of us on my wall. I can't bring myself to take it down. I miss you... But I also wish I never knew you. Then maybe this wouldn't hurt so badly. Constantly torn between wanting to be with you and never wanting to see you again. This school has been a constant reminder of what we used to be. You're going to college at the end of the month. While I'm stuck here in high school, with your stupid sweatshirt.
As a joke I said, "On valentine's day I'll walk up to him, kiss him on the cheek and wish him a happy Valentine's day then run away." Now my best friend is trying to convince me to do it but I'm scared.
He's the love of my life. The greatest thing I've ever known. His smile just lights up a room. Seeing his face makes my day. Being around him is like nothing else in the world matters. I miss him greatly. He's only been gone for two days and I'm going mad. He's the one, I can feel it. For the first time I've found someone that I can't get enough of. I've found someone that accepts me for who I am and doesn't tell me I need to change. I think I've found someone who i can fall madly in love with. The idea of him graduating scares me. Me being stuck in high school for one more year while he's off at college. The idea of never talking to or seeing him again scares me. The idea of losing him scares me. I'm afraid to lose a boy that I can't even call mine.
HIM: I miss you ME: Honestly, I have been waiting forever for you to tell me that. But it's gotten to the point where I don't want to hear it anymore. You treated me like sh*t and honestly I could never open up to you like I once did. Because you didn't just hurt me, you completely destroyed me. So I'm done.
Hey witty girls! A lot of you have asked me questions about make up/beauty/my skin care. All I've ever wanted to be was a beauty guru but I was afraid I wasn't good enough. Having you guys trust my opinions on things really boosted my self esteem! So long story short, I decided to use my YouTube channel for beauty videos! Please check it out! You girls are the reason I'm doing this! https://www.youtube.com/user/PowerTumbler411
I really hate that everyone in my family (extended included) and a lot of my friends think I'm on the road to messing up, just because of my piercings and desire for tattoos. I currently have six piercings, two on each ear lobe, a helix (cartilage) on my right ear and a conch on my left ear. I want to pierce my forward helix on my left ear also. They say it's bad and I have enough, and it'll lead to tattoos. They're wrong. I do want tattoos, but not just any tattoos and not a ton of them. I want two small tattoos, that mean a lot to me. I know they'll mean a lot to me in the future too, they'll never lose their meaning. Even if they possibly could, I'd rather have a tattoo from something that meant a lot to me in my teenage years, than something random. It shows something I was once passionate about. However, these tattoos will always hold a meaning. The first one is a semicolon in typewriter font. A lot of you might be thinking, "What could that possibly mean?" Let me tell you, a semicolon is a place where the author could've chosen to end the sentence, but didn't. To me, that goes hand in hand with supporting the fight against suicide. You could choose to end your life, but think about why you haven't. The author didn't end the sentence or story there, so you shouldn't end yours either. The second, is a butterfly in white ink on the inside of my wrist. A lot of my friends don't think I should do it, because white ink tattoos often look like scars. That's another reason I want it in white ink. It's my permanent support of the Butterfly Project. For those of you that don't know what that is, it shows support for those struggling with self-harm. There's one day a year where everyone who is there for those people struggling with self-harm, draws a butterfly on the inside of their wrist. I personally don't think this should just be a one day thing. So to show my permanent support, I want to tattoo a butterfly as if it was drawn on for the butterfly project. White ink does often look like scars, that's another reason to do it, it goes hand-in-hand with the Butterfly project. Now that you know my side of the story, I hope you all understand. If I even try to mention tattoos to anyone in my family, they won't hear it. They just tell me not to do it, and that it will mess up my life. They don't even want to hear the reasoning behind it, they just think it's a stupid immature mistake.
It's crazy to think about... My older brother is a freshman in college. He's 18. I'm a junior in high school. I'm 16, and just starting the college hunt. Our younger brother will be in my position, 10 years from now.
Maybe it's the way I know your lucky number. Or the way I know your favorite super hero. The way I know how you walk, and talk, and exist. The way I have to hug you, or I won't be happy. Maybe it's the fact that I know what kind of chocolate milk you drink. Maybe it's the way I fell in love with you. ♡
You know you're attached to someone when you've gotten so used to talking to them on a daily basis and they've become a part of your happiness. But when you guys don't talk, it's like a part of you is gone and you just start to miss them uncontrollably. ღ
Did your dad ask you about me after the game? Did he ask about "The girl you hugged and had your arm around"? Did he notice that you were leaning against me while we talked? If he did, what did you tell him? Did you tell him I was just a friend? Did you tell him you liked me? Did you say I was nobody? Did you ask him how much he saw or heard? Did you talk to him about me, or just let it go? He saw us hug, twice. He saw you put your arm around me as we talked. I'm pretty sure he saw you leaning against me. He heard us talking. Fighting like we've been married 80 years. Flirting like a new couple. Protecting each other like brother and sister. Talking like best friends. He saw it all, and I'm pretty sure he's asked about me by now. What did you tell him?
I live for your hugs. I watch for you in the crowded halls. I'm a cheerleader not because I like football, but I know it's your whole life. Your familiar scent comforts me in the worst of times. I know we're just friends, but something about you has me hooked. I've fallen in love with you. We were made for each other, but not made to be together.
spell your name ; see what it means! A: h0t B: loves people C: good kisser D: makes people laugh E: Has gorgeous eyes F: really wild and crazy, adore you G: very outgoing H: easy to fall in love with I: loves to laugh and smile J: is really sweet K: really silly L: loving and caring M: makes dating fun N: smile to die for O: has one of the best personalities ever P: popular with all types of people Q: hyperactive R: good boyfriend or girlfriend S: cute T: very good kisser U: is very sexual V: not judgmental W: very broad minded X: never let people tell you what to do Y: is loved by everyone Z: can be funny and sweet at times. L: Loving and caring (I hope so) I: Loves to laugh and smile (very true) A: Hot (I think that depends on who you ask...)
Do you understand? Do you understand what it was like for me to find out from your best friend that you got hurt? Do you understand what it's like to walk around worrying about you? Do you understand how much it hurts when people ask me about how you're doing? Do you understand how hard it is for me to act happy, because if one more person asks what's wrong I'll break down into tears? Do you understand what it's like to feel completely useless because you won't let me do anything to help? Do you understand how much worse it makes me feel about your injury when you keep telling me I'm 'really sweet' and 'really awesome'? Do you understand that the worst part of this, is the fact that I'm trying to help you get through this as best as I can, but it's not enough? Do you understand how much I love and care about you and need you to be okay? Do you understand how fast I ran to get my phone when I heard you wouldn't be playing football for at least a month? Do you understand that I ran because I know football is your whole life, and I know there's nothing more upsetting than having your life fall apart? Do you understand how it feels to be me in this situation?