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  1. posted a quote
    January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
    This quote does not exist.

  2. happiest* happiest*
    posted a quote
    October 21, 2013 2:16pm UTC
    can boys like stop having skinner legs than me

  3. Infinity on high* Infinity on high*
    posted a quote
    September 28, 2013 6:00am UTC
    I n s u l t s o n l y h u r t w h e n
    y o u k n o w t h e y ' r e k i n d a t r u e

  4. Infinity on high* Infinity on high*
    posted a quote
    October 7, 2013 1:03am UTC
    I am so paranoid and self concious to the point where
    if i see someone looking at me I instantly start listing countless flaws I have and convince myself that's what they're staring at

  5. lithium* lithium*
    posted a quote
    October 4, 2013 8:08pm UTC
    me: I'm cold
    dad: hi cold, I'm dad
    *dads of the world unite in uproarious laughter*

  6. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    October 4, 2013 2:49pm UTC
    Seeing a hot stranger in public is a blessing
    Seeing the same hot stranger in public again is a sign

  7. happiest* happiest*
    posted a quote
    October 3, 2013 2:27pm UTC
    Here government have a snickers you tend to shut down when you’re hungry

  8. Chris* Chris*
    posted a quote
    October 6, 2013 12:21pm UTC
    He has written me four letters that were shorter than ten words;
    May 26, 2013: I love you, I love you, I love you.
    June 20, 2013: Oh my gosh, I love you.
    July 6, 2013: I hope you're doing okay.
    August 28, 2013: I love you. Please be safe.
    And if that doesn't paint a picture of two people who are absolute best friends, then I don't know what will.

  9. dreamer* dreamer*
    posted a quote
    October 6, 2013 5:20am UTC
    me: *sleeps for 4 hours* tired
    me: *sleeps for 8 hours* tired
    me: *sleeps for a month* tired
    me: *sleeps for a year* still tired

  10. desultori* desultori*
    posted a quote
    October 6, 2013 9:03pm UTC
    "I like you."
    "You don't know me."
    "I want to, though."

  11. Steve Steve
    posted a quote
    October 3, 2013 9:09pm UTC
    What's the cheapest kind of meat?
    Deer balls. They're under a buck.

  12. Cammie Cammie happy witty anniversary!
    posted a quote
    June 27, 2013 2:47pm UTC
    me: I'm going to stand outside.
    friend: ok
    me: if anyone asks, i'm outstanding

  13. dolph* dolph*
    posted a quote
    June 27, 2013 1:21pm UTC
    Friend: imagine the word "banana" with any other vowel
    Me: bununu
    Friend: binini
    Me: benene
    Friend: bonono
    Me: bynyny
    A, E, I, O, U are vowels however sometimes Y is sometimes considered a
    6th vowel because it can sound like other vowels

  14. dolph* dolph*
    posted a quote
    June 27, 2013 4:07pm UTC
    shall i compare thee to summers day?
    you make me very sweaty and uncomfortable

  15. Rajsonkar Rajsonkar
    posted a quote
    June 21, 2013 7:37pm UTC
    When good looking hot guys flirt
    "aww you are so sweet"
    "you are so funny"
    When ugly guys flirt
    "stop being a creep -_-"

  16. dolph* dolph*
    posted a quote
    June 22, 2013 9:48am UTC
    If you're my boyfriend you're not allowed to:
    • Have candles on your birthday cake
    wtf are you wishing for all your wishes came true when you met me
    • Kiss another female besides me
    You wanna say goodbye to grandma? You better chest bump her and call it a day, boy
    • Speak to other females
    idc if you're lost and need directions you better get on your knees & ask Jesus to guide you or somethin
    • Own a GPS/SatNav
    what' you tryna' do? Navigate your way out of this relationship?
    • Buy glasses or contact lenses
    why do you need your vision to improve? You seeing someone else?
    • Sneeze in public
    girls'll be like "bless you" wtf girl you're already blessed you have ME
    • Eat Jalapenos/Chillies
    they're hotter than me
    • Buy lightbulbs
    i'm the only person that can light up your world. THE ONLY ONE
    • Listen to another girl's relationship problems
    a shoulder to cry on becomes a d/ck to ride on
    • Watch animal planet
    you might see your ex
    • Wear shoes with laces on
    you might trip and fall in love with someone better than me, better wear them sketcher slips ons
    • Be good at maths
    find ya "X" and you gonna wonder "Y" you're single again
    • Drink milk
    Whatchu need the strength for? Tryna get the strength to leave me?! No not today
    • Spray Lynx in public
    next thing you know hoes gonna be poppin' out beggin' for his d/ck.

  17. Maicy Rasmus* Maicy Rasmus*
    posted a quote
    June 20, 2013 12:43pm UTC
    What do you mean you can't hangout?
    I showered for this.
    I shaved for this.
    I put a bra on for you.
    I got off Wittyprofiles for you.
    I am wearing pants.

  18. DontGetYourHopesUp DontGetYourHopesUp
    posted a quote
    June 17, 2013 6:39pm UTC
    best friend's boyfriend
    | chapter | 49 | ♥ | ♥ |
    I stood there, crying on Carter’s porch, not wanting to go back into the house. Where the f.uck was Cody? He should’ve been out here too, talking to Kelli! I sat down on the first step and cried into my hands.
    The door opened and Cody ran out. He clearly saw me sitting there but ran straight passed me, into his car and down the street to find Kelli. He still picked her. I’m sure that would boost Kelli’s ego even more. That’s what she was trying to prove this whole time- that guys liked her too. I never thought that wasn’t true though; I always tried to help get conversations started with guys for her so that she could jump in and get them to like her.
    Good job Kel, the guy likes you. I get it, game over, you won.
    School started in a week and I didn’t even know what I was going to do. Kelli would go out to lunch every day with Cody and his friends, and I’d most likely be stuck sitting by myself after all my friends ditched me because Kelli told them what I’d done.
    Our lockers were right next to each other. They always had been, and when we were younger we were always seated next to each other in alphabetical seating because of our last names. I’d have to see her every single day.
    I knew Kelli better than anyone- she was the kind of person who didn’t stop fighting until she got everyone involved. She’d tell all of our other friends who would tell all of their other friends until eventually everyone knew.
    “Brooke?” Carter said from behind me. I turned around and the five guys were at the door, coming onto the porch to sit next to me.
    “We heard the whole fight…” Mattie said cautiously.
    “Everything?” I asked nervously.
    “Yeah,” he wouldn’t make eye contact with me. They’d heard about my scar. That was another thing Kelli would probably tell everyone about.
    “We’re really sorry about everything that happened, Brooke,” Graham said.
    “Don’t be, it’s no one’s fault but mine,” I said.
    “It’s Cody’s fault too,” Duke said.
    “No one’s going to think it is,” I said. “Kelli’s not going to tell the story that way. She loves Cody too much.”
    “Why does every girl think Cody is this really sweet guy who actually cares about girls?” Carter laughed.
    “Because he is!”
    “He’s not!” all five guys said at once.
    "I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day and something reminds you you wish you had stayed. You can plan for a change in weather and time, but I never planned on you changing your mind," -Last Kiss, Taylor Swift
    Note: ah one chapter left! and you guys are going to hate me buuuut I can't post tomorrow! sorry! gotta wait til wednesday

  19. Infinite* Infinite*
    posted a quote
    June 13, 2013 7:36pm UTC
    It feels good, coming up for air

  20. Infinite* Infinite*
    posted a quote
    June 13, 2013 7:41pm UTC
    There was
    T H E r e w e R e
    And It Was


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