Loss, the hardest and the most destructive feeling encountered in life.
How do people react when someone informs them that a loved one has passed away? Nearly everyone has been through the shock, life changing and soul shaking moment, when they discover that a loved one has passed away. That moment when they feel like no air is reaching their lungs, because the information that a family member, a life partner, or a friend has just died is too powerful to accept. Knees become weak, head starts spinning, and neither words nor noises are able to leave the mouth. A blank expression covers the face, because thoughts are all over the place trying to accept the terrible news it has just received, the whole body freezes.
With all those physical reactions a person experiences, mentally and emotionally, they are about to break down at any minute. Tears begin to stream down their face, voice starts shaking with rejecting screams, and arms tremble while they are trying to hold onto something solid. At that moment, people realize that their world is officially falling down on them; or that is just how it feels like.
In the complete state of confusion a human is in after such strong, catastrophic information, they wonder and think deeply about what they could have possibly done to try and prevent this tragic incident; or how are they possibly ever going to move on in life without the deceased support, or words of wisdom. In those first hours of the tragic day, that is when a person begins to realize the importance and impact that loved one had in their life.
As the first couple of days and weeks pass, a person’s body feels weaker and more vulnerable. They do not have the strength to call the house or cell phone, because they know their loved one will not be the one to pick up, or that their loved ones voice will not be the one on the voice machine anymore.
Days begin to feel longer and sleepless nights keep reoccurring. A person’s energy is always drained, and their appetite for food or anything good in life has disappeared. They feel like nothing in their surroundings makes sense anymore, and that no one around them understand the despair they are in.
Depression and sadness take over the person’s emotions and nothing anyone says will make any difference in their situation. The person becomes in their own dark bubble, and they are the only one that can control what enters and exits that bubble of theirs.
When a person begins to feel like they have lost all hope and faith in life, without them noticing they will begin reminiscing on all the happy and funny moments they and the deceased one have shared. They start thinking of past conversations and outings that make them smile and it comforts their emotions. A person starts remembering past advice the loved one had shared with them and they being to realize all the hidden information between the words.
While those memories keep flowing in, a person’s faith becomes a little bit stronger, their smile gradually becomes brighter, and their happiness becomes a little bit more viewable.
When a human accepts the fact of their loss and starts cherishing the past moments with that person they loved, that is the first step in moving forward. All the pain does not fully heal and go away. There will still be days were a person just cries their eyes out, but that is our nature. There will still be days where a person just wants to stay home, look at pictures and listen to music that reminds them of the deceased, but that does not mean they have lost all hope again.
You never really get over the loss of a loved one. As years and years pass the loved one will always be remembered on special occasions and special dates, but instead of them being a sad feeling that lingers in a person, the thought of them becomes the person’s daily motivation.
A better tomorrow will always come, you just have to want it; a happier moment will always arrive, you just have to accept it and brighter future is always possible, you just have to work for it.
NaderTalks