So, on the last three and a half days of school, they had a talent show at my school. I was up there, doing my thang, singing A Team the best I could. My parent's were the only parents there, by the way. And I'm shaking so bad, I was surprised the school wasn't vibrating as well. When the song was over, it took me twenty four minutes to calm down and stop shaking. But I knew I did a good job, I looked and felt beautiful and confident. I was happy, too, because that was the first time my parents had heard me sing by myself and do the whole song. When the talent show was over, I didn't get to see them before they left, but when I got home I found out I was in the right program for high school, one that I wanted to be in, and that my mom had been so proud of me she cried. I made my mom cry. Not because of me being the idiot failure I am, but because I finally did something right!
I was texting my senior friend (She'll be a senior in high school this year and I'll be a freshman!) and we were talking about the party she invited me to. Me: So excited for Saturday! XD Her: Yep. Me: Wait, is Gavin* gonna be there? Are you friends with him? Her: Maybe, and yeah. Why? Me: I asked him out really weirdly, I ran down the hall screaming after I got his number, and we only talked once. I think it would be awkward seeing him. Her: Oh, well he doesn't have to come. Me: Don't do that! It's your party, I feel bad about making you uninvite him for me because of a stupid reason. Her: It's not stupid, and it wasn't even a for sure thing that he was coming. And....He KINDA has a girlfriend now.... Me: I'm so bad with guys. BLERG. Her: Don't worry! You're in the big boy school now! ;D Me:....DYING OF LAUGHTER. *Gavin is a guy I asked out. He is so freaking hot, but we only talked once, never really worked out. Whatevs. I'm trying to get back together with my ex girlfriend.
I sometimes think that aliens are like us in a lot of ways. I mean, there are the ones that don't make human contact. Then there are those who are so lonely, they kidnap someone just to spend time with someone. There are the aggressive ones who steal your kidneys. There are the r*pist ones who probe you. I think I just opened your eyes to what's out in space.
It's official. Everyone hates me. Friday was the okay day that went awful. So, at school, I had done a lot of math, which I'm failing, so I took a break to play Temple Run on one of the iPads. This b*tch who never pays attention to me sees I'm playing and yells, "WHAT THE F*CK?! SHE GETS TO PLAY TEMPLE RUN WHILE WE WORK? THAT'S NOT FAIR!" Our teacher tries to calm her down, but she says, "No, it's not f*cking fair!" I try to ignore her. Then the good guy turned *sshole speaks up and says, "I hate her so much, too!" Our teacher says, "You can't mean that." And the *sshole says, "No, I do." This, I didn't ignore. I say to him, "I f*cking hate you, too!" And I go to write a note down on the iPad, and I try not to let it get to me. But it does, and I start crying. I turn off the iPad and wipe my eyes, hoping that when I get up I can take a deep breath and walk away with dignity. But when I get up, I know that they're looking at me and staring and I just start crying unconrtollably. The only person who helps me? My teacher. I go outside and sit down in the hall and just cry. He tries calming me down, but eventually it leads to me going upstairs to talk with the counselor. And everything comes out, how I know I'm hated by everyone and how I'm a b*tch to everyone and how I don't think before I speak and how I was about ready to crack some skulls when the b*tch who saw me playing the game started talking trash about my girlfriend. And now the counselor knows I'm secretly dating and I'm worried that she's going to tell my parent and that I'll never be able to date until I move out. Jeez, my life freaking sucks.