Witty Profiles

sign in or join


  1. Ceira Ceira
    posted a quote
    July 2, 2010 3:05am EDT
    When you were 12 years old, she warned you not to watch certain TV shows.
    You thanked her by waiting until she left the house to watch them.
    When you were 13, she suggested a haircut that was becoming.
    You thanked her by telling her she had no taste.
    When you were 14, she paid for a month away at summer camp.
    You thanked her by forgetting to write a single letter.
    When you were 15, she came home from work, expecting a hug.
    You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.
    When you were 16, she taught you how to drive her car.
    You thanked her by taking it every chance you could.
    When you were 17, she was expecting an important call.
    You thanked her by being on the phone all night.
    When you were 18, she cried at your high school graduation.
    You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn.
    When you were 19, she paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags
    You thanked her by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.
    When you were 25, she helped to pay for your wedding, and she cried and told you how deeply she loved you.
    You thanked her by moving halfway across the country.
    When you were 50, she fell ill and needed you to take care of her.
    You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their children.
    And then, one day, she quietly died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART.
    Fave This, If Your mom means all the world to you <3

  2. posted a quote
    December 31, 1969 7:00pm EST
    This quote does not exist.

  3. ᴏɴᴄᴇ-ᴜᴘᴏɴ-ᴀ-ᴍɪᴅsᴜᴍᴍᴇʀ-ᴍᴏʀɴɪɴɢ* ᴏɴᴄᴇ-ᴜᴘᴏɴ-ᴀ-ᴍɪᴅsᴜᴍᴍᴇʀ-ᴍᴏʀɴɪɴɢ*
    posted a quote
    December 13, 2013 4:48pm EST
    Why have things become awkward again?

  4. ducky_the_impossible ducky_the_impossible
    posted a quote
    December 13, 2013 2:07pm EST
    I love it when
    I catch you
    looking at me.

  5. Vinita* Vinita*
    posted a quote
    December 13, 2013 10:35pm EST
    Other than the fact that I am like
    10x prettier and funnier than her
    I can totally see why you like her

  6. ChocoTaco ChocoTaco
    posted a quote
    November 11, 2013 5:06pm EST
    "Of course every soldier is prepared to die.
    But these people aren't just pawns on a chessboard.
    They all have names, families, and feelings in their hearts too.
    They are all humans who live and bleed.
    You have the responsibility to ensure their death will not be in vain.
    No matter what may come, remember this in your naive heart,
    And be ready to die to fulfill that duty."

  7. *Elena;~ ♥* *Elena;~ ♥*
    posted a quote
    November 17, 2013 4:27pm EST
    Things to say/do to a telemarker;
    "I'm blind, could you repeat that?"
    (Speak with perfect English) "I don't speak English, sorry!"
    Say "Want to hear a cool noise?" Then hang up.
    "My grandma fell off a cliff last week, don't you even care?!" Then hang up.
    Act real interested, then at then end tell them no thanks and hang up.
    Try to sell THEM something.
    Pick up the phone and say "It's completed, but there's blood everywhere."
    "Hello, this is the local spe.rm bank. You jack it we pack it! How may we help you?"

  8. 伤* 伤*
    posted a quote
    September 28, 2013 12:50pm EDT
    ghost hunters: can you communicate with us
    *door creeks*
    ghost hunters: oh so your name is william

  9. happiest* happiest*
    posted a quote
    October 2, 2013 2:38pm EDT
    u just dont ask someone with winged eyeliner why they are late for something

  10. happiest* happiest*
    posted a quote
    September 27, 2013 2:52pm EDT
    me at age 9: omg i cant wait to be a teenager, getting drunk and partying 24/7 with all my friends!!!!
    me as a teenager: who the fck just unfollowed me

  11. hemmo1996* hemmo1996*
    posted a quote
    October 1, 2013 4:19pm EDT
    I hate school.
    Not education.
    There's a difference.

  12. happiest* happiest*
    posted a quote
    September 28, 2013 3:33pm EDT
    *dies suffocating while trying not to cough in public*

  13. BlackButterflies BlackButterflies
    posted a quote
    September 28, 2013 7:15pm EDT
    so there's "hey you're cute, i'd make out with you" crushes
    but then there's "my god you're so cute i'd make out with you and hold your hand and buy you stupid presents and meet your family and watch movies with you and please text me first i just want to hug you forever you smell really good" crushes

  14. ChocoTaco ChocoTaco
    posted a quote
    September 18, 2013 7:21pm EDT
    I bet most of you guys here on Witty
    Are actually really popular in school, and you just pretend to be losers so the Internet accepts you.

  15. *Elena;~ ♥* *Elena;~ ♥*
    posted a quote
    September 23, 2013 6:22pm EDT
    A Dairy Queen employee witnessed a blind customer
    drop a $20 bill and a woman picked it up and placed
    it in her purse. The employee politely asked her to give it
    back and when she refused, he asked her to leave the
    restaurant. The employee then took a $20 bill out of
    his own wallet and gave it to the man.
    Ladies and gentlemen, there is hope for the human race.

  16. happiest* happiest*
    posted a quote
    September 23, 2013 2:22pm EDT

  17. xBeautifulDngerx xBeautifulDngerx
    posted a quote
    April 30, 2010 12:09pm EDT
    A Guy Had A Crush On
    This Girl
    He followed her wherever she went.
    One day the girl noticed and asked the guy.
    Girl: Why do you keep following me?
    Boy: Because you're so pretty and I think I'm falling in love with you.
    Girl: Really? But you haven't met my friend yet. She's prettier then me and she's right behind you.
    (The Boy Turns Around)
    Boy: Are you making fun of me? There's no one behind me.
    Girl: No, but if you really loved me, you wouldn't even bother to look back.
    i saw this somewhere.. wanna make it pretty? go ahead.

  18. sksx9 sksx9
    posted a quote
    March 15, 2009 4:48pm EDT

  19. f0r3v3rm0r3x3 f0r3v3rm0r3x3
    posted a quote
    June 28, 2010 7:27pm EDT
    We met in kindergarten. We were best friends.
    She always told me she loved my eyes. I didn't quite know why.
    I was in love with her, so of course my face lit up immensely whenever she said it.
    She was beautiful, kind, and extremely funny.
    We'd be talking about nothing, and she'd turn to me and whisper,
    "I like your eyes."
    One day, I was playing basketball,
    waiting for her to drive over to my house to have a game with me.
    Suddenly, I got a phone call.
    It was her mom. She was in a panic.
    I couldn't quite understand what she was saying. It sounded like,
    "Aaron, come quick! Kelsey, accident, Main Street! Blood. Come now!"
    I had no clue what happened,
    so I ran to Main Street with my basketball shorts and a tee shirt on.
    I saw Kelsey's mom helplessly crying, waiting for the ambulance to arrive.
    I saw a totaled car, blood everywhere.
    Then I saw her, Kelsey.
    My heart stopped as I frantically ran over to her.
    "Kelsey? Kelsey!" She was unconscious. I started crying.
    I know it isn't very manly, but I couldn't help it.
    Before I could say anymore, the medics took her away,
    the main source of blood coming from her head.
    I went to the hospital that night,
    I went every night.
    in fact, the only time I left was to go out to eat, but that's it.
    The doctors tried getting me to leave, but I refused.
    It was all my fault.
    If it wasn't for me, wanting to play basketball with her,
    she wouldn't be going through this.
    It was already four days, and she hasn't woken up.
    On the fifth day, I saw her eyes gently open.
    "Kelsey?" I called.
    She wasn't quite awake yet.
    Suddenly, doctors came rushing in, telling me I had to wait outside.
    I did, for a few hours.
    One of the doctors finally came out saying,
    "I understand that you're Kelsey's friend, Aaron?"
    "Yes," I whispered.
    He bit his lip.
    "She woke up, she's fine,
    but I'm afraid she has long term memory loss."
    "Are you serious?" I almost shouted.
    "I'm afraid so."
    I didn't meet his gaze. I couldn't.
    I wasn't going to say anything, so he spoke again.
    "You can go see her if you want,
    but she doesn't remember anything, not even her mom."
    I walked in, trembling in horror.
    I saw her. She looked helpless as she slept.
    I waited a few hours, until I saw her eyes opening gently again.
    I expected doctors to run in, rushing me out.
    Instead, she looked me straight in the eyes, and whispered,
    "I don't know you, but I like your eyes."

  20. happiest* happiest*
    posted a quote
    September 13, 2013 2:34pm EDT
    if i ever get married i am gonna be too embarrassed to kiss my husband in front of everyone, especially my parents, so we will probably just high five or something

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2020 Witty Profiles