Do you know what it is like you when your own Mother calls you psycho? When she can’t even communicate to you without yelling at you? When you are so close to bringing the knife to your skin? Fighting the urge of cutting. You can’t. When your best friend is talking behind your back? To the boy you like dating your best friend. It’s impossible. Saying your last goodbyes to your Father just before his death. Having to bring your little sister up while your Mother is lying in her bedroom battling depression. It’s hard. It’s hard to keep going, being that daughter who gets the best marks in school. The one that gets into university. The one without a boyfriend in high school. The one that has to please her Mother and gets judged for everything she does by her own Mother. The one that nearly committed suicide twice. Having that thought in the back of her mind all the time. Having no one besides her and having to grow up by herself. It’s sad. But the secret is…. I’m her.
Dear My So Called Friend. I'm not going to say to you that I'm angry and that I hate you forwhat you have done to me, but I'm not going to let you hurt me anymore. Everything single guy that I have liked you have to tease and flirt with them till they have fallen for you. You always have to act like that dumb !d!ot. You act fake. And you are losing everyone around you. Why can't you see that? You have hurt me too long. Dear Formal Date That Said That Its Over You were the one who asked me. You said that I should go with someone else over a small thing that I was involved with. It was over a small text that was sent out to ten of our friends. You snitched on my friends and got three of them suspended for two weeks. You could of got me suspended. And you were lucky I didn't. And threatening me saying that, "I wouldn't mess with me, you don't know what you are messing with..." I do know what i'm messing with, a snitch. That's all you are to me now. A lying snitch that can grow some balls because you don't obviously have any. Dear Life, Why couldn't it be easier?
Something happened on Monday that really shocked me I guess, one of my closest friends admitted that he was gay and he was proud of it. He's always been the loud, sweet hearted guy that you could talk to for hours. That wasn't the part that shocked me, the part that shocked me the most was that everyone of his friends and my friends didn't mind, they didn't unfriend him or anything except that one guy. He was being the biggest d/ck about it behind his back. Why? I have no idea. But I stood up for my friend, I was so close to slapping that guy and I am one of the least violent people out there. But what he said hurt me. I know that everyone has their opinion but talking about this sort of subject is sad. My friend came up to me crying and thanked me. I'm proud of you, Chris. And you probably never see this, but ignore the bullies and I am always there for you.
Different. I like the way he puts a tad too much hair gel in and when it begins to dry, a single piece at the front falls onto his forehead. I like to fix it for him, but I like how he'll flick it forward once again after I put it back into place. I like the times when we watch movies, but he doesn't watch them because he's too busy cutely attempting to land popcorn on my tongue and making sure I'm comfortable. I also like the times he tells me he's going to take me to Paris one day, and kiss me underneath the Eiffel Tower at midnight while everyone else is fast asleep. I like those times. And he's different because I know that one day we're actually going to go there, and he's actually going to kiss me underneath the Eiffel Tower at midnight while everyone is fast asleep. Just us. It's different. He's different.
Falling for someone is the most wonderful, yet the scariest feeling in the world. When you're not sure where life will lead but it's too much of an exciting adventure for you to care. When just the sight of someone makes your heart race; when hearing them say your name gives you butterflies. You get all these odd little feelings, and you're happy. But there's a little bitter feeling when you're apart, that tries to discourage you. But then you see the other person again, and everything is better, everything is perfect.
Endless laughs. Don't you love that? When you & your friend are just making jokes & you can't stop laughing? You laugh until you fall, or until you start tearing up & when you finally stop laughing, you look at each other again, & you laugh even more? Yeah, those kind of laughs.
When your mind is a mess, so is mine. I can't sleep, cause it hurts when I think. My thoughts aren't at peace. With the plans that we make, the chances we take. They're, not yours and not mine. There's waves that can break. All the words that we say. And the words that we mean. Words can fall short. Can't see the unseen. Cause the world is awake. For somebody's sake now, please close your eyes boy. Please get some sleep.