Witty Profiles

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  1. ChocoTaco ChocoTaco
    posted a quote
    July 20, 2013 9:54pm UTC
    I have 99 problems
    and my selfies are every single one.

  2. capsized* capsized*
    posted a quote
    June 30, 2013 7:52pm UTC
    Alternatives for when you’re feeling angry or restless:
    ×Scribble on photos of people in magazines
    ×Viciously stab an orange
    ×Have a pillow fight with the wall
    ×Scream very loudly
    ×Go to the gym, dance, exercise
    ×Listen to music and sing along loudly
    ×Draw a picture of what is making you angry
    ×Beat up a stuffed bear
    ×Splatter paint
    ×Scribble on a piece of paper until the whole page is black
    ×Throw darts at a dartboard
    ×Go for a run
    ×Write your feelings on paper then rip it up
    ×Use stress relievers
    ×Build a fort of pillows and then destroy it
    ×Throw ice cubes at the bathtub wall, at a tree, etc
    ×Get out a fine tooth comb and vigorously brush the fur of a stuffed animal (but use gentle vigor)
    ×Slash an empty plastic soda bottle or a piece of heavy cardboard or an old shirt or sock
    ×Make a soft cloth doll to represent the things you are angry at; cut and tear it instead of yourself
    ×On a sketch or photo of yourself, mark in red ink what you want to do. Cut and tear the picture
    ×Break sticks
    ×Stomp around in heavy shoes
    ×Yell at what you are breaking and tell it why you are angry, hurt, upset, etc.
    ×Buy a cheap plate and decorate it with markers, stickers, cut outs from magazines, words, images, what ever that expresses your pain and sadness and when you’re done, smash it. (Please be careful when doing this)

  3. yourcool yourcool
    posted a quote
    May 18, 2013 9:29pm UTC
    best threesome ever:
    me. my bed. my pillow.

  4. yourcool yourcool
    posted a quote
    May 18, 2013 7:55pm UTC
    what i actually said: i forgot.
    what my mother heard: i hate you and i am determined to fail at life, go to prison, and bring dishonor to this family. i care about nothing except my computer and tv shows and you can just go burn in he.ll for all i care. also i'm pregnant.

  5. quotesaremykryptonite quotesaremykryptonite
    posted a quote
    May 18, 2013 2:17pm UTC
    Bras are so expensive
    like i didn't choose the boob life the boob life chose me.

  6. yourcool yourcool
    posted a quote
    May 18, 2013 8:27pm UTC
    what if rocks are actually soft but
    just tense up when we touch them?

  7. Maicy Rasmus* Maicy Rasmus*
    posted a quote
    May 18, 2013 12:41pm UTC
    "You're here to learn."
    "I'm here because it's the f.cking law."

  8. Bee Bee
    posted a quote
    May 11, 2013 8:43am UTC
    ask me stuff(: haha!

  9. J I L L I A N ; )* J I L L I A N ; )*
    posted a quote
    May 11, 2013 1:05pm UTC
    http://ask.fm/jjdubbs please ask me anythingg !! pleaseee :) then put -steve to know you're from witty.<3

  10. sksx9 sksx9
    posted a quote
    March 15, 2009 4:48pm UTC

  11. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    May 12, 2013 12:58pm UTC
    Kris was born in Dubuque, Iowa. Her mother passed away from lukeimia when she was around 13. Her brother committed suicide when she was a young age, also.. Her father remarried. She went to a Catholic school all her life. After graduating, she attended college and decided that it wasn't for her.
    She was a waitress for about a year and then joined the Air Force. She was stationed in Witchita, Kansas where she met a man named Ted. They were married on November 14, when they were both 21. Because they were both in the Air Force, they moved to Okinawa, Japan, Sacramento, California, and Abilene, Texas. She left the Air Force while living in Texas.
    When in Abilene, after having tried for years, the couple finally concieved twins. At 7 months pregnant, Kris became very sick, most likely having pnemonia. At 7 months her water broke early and they feared she may die in labor, she was even read her last rights. Luckily, she gave birh to a son and daughter who, after extensive medical treatment, became healthy children.
    The family moved to Eagle River, Alaska. After two or three years of living there, Ted had to leave to go to Italy because of the Kosovo War. After a couple weeks of taking care of two toddlers by herself, Kris went down to Leominster, Massachusetts to stay with her in-laws. They day before the three left, however, her daughter stopped breathing and she was rushed to the hospital. The girl was fine after treatment and the family left as planned.
    About a year or two after Ted returned, he was stationed in New Jersey. There, after having served 21 years in the military, he retired. After Kris recieved a job offer in Oro Valley, Arizona. After two years of living there, the couple decided to move to Massachusetts so their children could know at least one side of the family.
    The family has been living there ever since. Every day, Kris selflessly helps her children through everything, even if they don't make things the easiest on her.
    Happy Mothers Day. I love you mom.

  12. sammy* sammy*
    posted a quote
    April 29, 2013 4:57pm UTC
    Format chickittylover
    If he really wanted to be with you,
    he would be with you ♥

  13. bye* bye*
    posted a quote
    April 22, 2013 6:41pm UTC
    when i was in 6th grade this girl spread rumors about herself that she was pregnant with triplets and even pretended to have contractions in class but when we asked her how she got pregnant she said she held hands with her boyfriend and his sweat got through her pores and impregnated her

  14. bye* bye*
    posted a quote
    April 22, 2013 4:12pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  15. kirajanee16 kirajanee16
    posted a quote
    April 22, 2013 4:23pm UTC
    *gets period*
    *starts singing*
    If I were a boy...

  16. Hi_Im_Sam Hi_Im_Sam
    posted a quote
    April 22, 2013 5:02pm UTC
    And The Tears Come Streaming Down Your Face
    When You Loose Something You Can't Replace
    When You Love Someone But It Goes To Waste
    Could It Be Worse ?

  17. _superwhitegirlproblems _superwhitegirlproblems
    posted a quote
    April 21, 2013 3:06pm UTC
    Super White Girl Problems #2199
    Spraying your jeans
    with perfume so you can
    go weeks without
    washing them.

  18. Eli22b Eli22b
    posted a quote
    April 20, 2013 12:37pm UTC
    I just want someone who will hug me from behind and kiss my forehead and snuggle with me when its cold and cook amazing food and make me hot chocolate and go shopping with me and looks incredibly sexy in anything and still be adorable and build a snowman in the summer and be able to fly and be bestfriends with my favorite artists so I can meet them and have a time travel machine and breathe fire and lift thousands of pounds and transform into any creature in the world.
    Like seriously is that too much to ask for?

  19. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    April 20, 2013 2:15pm UTC
    Google: Why does my cat lick me?
    John Green: Okay, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret
    John Green: Cat's believe that all other organisms are cats.
    John Green: Once you realize that, a lot of cat behaviour begins to make sense.
    John Green: So, why does your cat lick you?
    John Green: Because it thinks it's grooming you.
    John Green: So, when your cat licks you, he's thinking--"I love you, gigantic, hairless cat. And to show you, I will lick you."

  20. finding_nemo finding_nemo
    posted a quote
    April 10, 2013 7:45pm UTC
    *School calling my mom at work*
    school secretary: Hello, I'm calling about your son
    mom: Okay, what happened?
    school secretary: He's asking if he can go home.
    school secretary: He says he has a 'super awesome' sub in the fridge.
    school secretary: And he wants to go get it and come back during his studyhall
    Okay, my brother isn't normal.


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