okay, if i lived in america or somewhere else where there are heaps of Wittians, i would absolutely organize for a massive group of us to go out for coffee/see movies/go shopping once a week and we'd be in a massive group and look super cool and no one would know that we're actually a bunch of people from the internet who hardly ever leave their bedrooms.
so yesterday i was babysitting five kids under the age of nine (i know, i know, i'm practically jesus. shhh.) and one of them was an 8 year old boy called Corben. basically, he developed a huge crush on me after i told him i liked star trek and dragons, and he kept hitting on me the entire time and it was hilarious and also adorable. alana (his six year old sister): oh wow, you're so good at lego. you're magical. corben: yeah, lizzy's so magical that she makes people fall in love with her and wish that they were older so that tHEY COULD MARRY HER FOREVER alana: CORBEN THAT IS DISGUSTING, I AM DISGUSTED WITH YOU. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ corben: when we get married can we have a cat? i like cats. me: what alana: corben i'm never talking to you again ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ corben: lizzy, do you like cocoa pops? me: yeah, but-- corben: i'll get you three bowls. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ me: okay, goodnight you guys. corben: mum usually gives us a cuddle before we go to sleep. alana: no she doesn-- corben: shHHhHhHH. me: no. corben: not even a little cuddle? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ me: why are you out of bed? corben: do you want to read my book about dragons me: no, go back to bed corben: i'll read it to you if you want
I always cry when I watch Rugrats in Paris because when all the babies and kids are dancing with their mom's and Chuckie is just standing in the corner because he doesn't have a mom and then when they're on the plane going to Paris and all the mom's come and Chuckie's just staring out the window and you hear the song, "I wanna mom who'll love me forever. I wanna mom who'll make it all better." and dON'T TOUCH ME I'M UPSET.
In my bedroom at night. Me: ~is peacefully playing on my phone in my bed~ Me: ~hears rustling outside of my closed door~ Me: Uh....what's that....?! Zombie: ~bursts through door with giant axe~ Me: AHHHHHH!!! OH MY GOD WTF AHHH!!! Me: Oh no wait, you're not my mom!! Haha, whew i was scared there for a second!! Imagine if you were my mom and she saw me playing on my phone this late! Hahahah sorry about that!
What to do when people are singing Happy Birthday to you --Smile and clap along --Have a sudden fit of coughing so you can awkwardly hide your face in your hands --Beat box --Scream "DIS MY JAM!" and jump on the table and break dance --Sing Amazing Grace as loud as you possible can until they stop singing to you --Go over to the closest person singing and hug them tightly until they stop singing. Keep holding them until they feel uncomfortable. Bonus points for humming in their ear. --Start a mosh pit --Strip tease
Wanna hear a couple jokes? Internet explorer. 18+ warnings. middle school relationships. my social life. miley cyrus' new music video. people who can't distinguish between 'your' and 'you're'. ugly cats. what did the giraffe say to human? nothing, giraffes can't talk.
I promise it's not an obession okay i just go on the internet and post random things that come from the top of my head and then browse hot pictures and get alot of feels and ship random people together and watch videos of really hot and cute youtubers and sometimes i lose my breath because there's too many feels?? And then i look at pictures of cats to ease the feels down?? Don't worry i only do this everyday 27 out of 24 hours a day it's not an addiction or an obession haha it's only a hobby i do in my free time stop looking at me like that
My comebacks include: "haha learn to spell" "whatever" "lol like i care" and "oh yeah well listen here you little sh/t i friCKIN DOWNLOADED RADIOACTIVE BY IMAGINE DRAGONE BEFORE IT CAME POPULAR ON THE RADIO OK"
Imagine if this happened. ~in French class~ Teacher: Okay Krista, answer this question in a complete sentence: "Qu'est-ce que vous voulez boire?" Me: Okay, I got this... "<span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 48px; line-height: 40px; letter-spacing: -2px; ......" Teacher: What the... Me: What? OH... um sorry, had something in my throat there! I meant, "Je veux de l'eau s'il vous plaît."