*Allergy Medicine commercials*
"Taking this twice a day will reduce your allergies and help you live a happy and carefree life.
Side effects may include: dizziness, headaches, excessive sleeping, puking, cancer, diarrhea, swelling, seizures, amnesia, thoughts of suicide, hallucinations, insanity, and possibly death.
Don't let allergies control you, take action now."
*Couple laughing in the distance*