So you can keep knocking, baby you're knocking but there ain't no way I'm ever gonna let you in. No not again. So keep on knocking but baby you're better off walking cause baby I'm not letting in. Never again
As hard as people may try to understand, they never will. They will never understand how hard it is or the pain I have to carry around with me everyday. They will never understand that just because you tell someone to let go and move on, it isn't that easy. They will never understand that I can't explain why I cry sometimes. They will never understand how much it hurts. They can try and they can try, but they will never understand.
"You just don't get it." Don't get what? Don't get how YOU were the one who decided to end it? How YOU were the one who decided to leave? How you have feelings and yes while they might have gotten hurt, I was the one being left behind so I did what I had to in order to not fall apart? I don't get what? How you think its okay to lead someone on and then all of a sudden just drop them? How you think its okay to care for everyone else but not let them care for you? How its okay for you to preach about how you know so much about pain and how you would never do that to someone but then turn around and do everything you said you wouldn't? You're right. I don't get it.
I absolutely hate when people say "If you loved them you wouldn't have moved on so fast." Everyone has their own definition of love. You don't get to define their feelings for them. Some people think they know what love is and then meet someone better who shows them a better definition of love. You don't know why the couple broke up or why the said person moved on so fast. It's not for you to judge.
Maybe one day I'll have it all figured out. Maybe one day there will be no doubt. Maybe one day I'll be good enough. Maybe one day I'll be wanted. Maybe one day I'll be happy. Maybe one day I'll get it right. Maybe one day I'll spread my wings and fly. Maybe one day I can experience this life instead of just suffering through it. And maybe one day that day won't be so far away.
Why is everything so confusing? One minute I'm happy and everything's great. Then, with the blink of an eye all hell breaks loose and I'm sobbing on the floor. One minute I have a clear vision of where my life is going. And the next, it becomes a pool of muddy water. One minute I can conquer the world. But shortly after I take my first step only to shut the door and hide.
Why? Why is it always the same story? Why does it always happen the same way? Why I do let myself get wrapped up into it? Why do I lead myself on? But more importantly why are YOU doing this to me? Why did you pick me to mess with? Because I'm the new girl? Because I appealed to you? Because I was some prize to be won amongst you and your stupid friends? I'm so over this. I am so over letting myself get caught in these situations. I'm so over and done with letting you lead me on. Good freaking bye.
I hate when people act like I'm an idiot for thinking he doesn't like me/ not knowing if he does. Yes he holds my hand. Yes he and I cuddle a lot. Yes he and I go on dates. Yes he and I kiss/ make out once in a while. No he has not told me he likes me. No he has not asked me to be his girlfriend. No he has not defined the relationship. No he doesn't ask anyone to my knowledge out. But I have been with, experienced, seen many a times when the guy is just using the girl. Or he's just stringing her along for his enjoyment. Not everyone's honest and truthful about their intentions. So stop treating me like I'm delusional for how I'm thinking.
Here's some advice for the next one Don't let him lead you to the dark Don't tell him all your secrets He'll leave you with a broken heart He'll try and tell you that he wants you Just to keep you on the line And right when you're about to move on He pulls you back in every time Here is advice for the next one Run, run, run Darling I know that you're just like me You give your love up way too fast But once it's gone it's gone forever And there's no coming back from that He's got this perfect way about him He'll make you think that you come first But you'll get lost in the challenge Of trying not to get hurt Don't even search for that four-letter word You'll never get it out You'll try, and try, and try But he'll just shut you down Don't wanna say I told you so So please go now