Dudu*'s Quotes

Dudu*

Dudu*
posted a quote
January 20, 2024 3:31pm UTC

i'm just so conflicted. cause i know life is good. but this depression. this sad sulky feeling always comes back to me. i tell myself it's like happiness. happiness will always come back. in the same way, this sad unsettling feeling will also come back. but it is never forever.
it still feels awful. i feel like i have to always distract myself so i don't feel it. it's this feeling of dread. i thought i would be happier by now and i am but here i am still.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
January 20, 2024 11:30am UTC

It's gonna go one of two ways.
I'll be the one or the one that got away.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
January 1, 2024 4:51am UTC

you didn't even really do anything bad.
it's mainly the stuff you didn't do.
i was measuring you against a version of youself i had heard you describe to me.
you can give your all to others, so i wanted a slice of that too.
i went above and beyond, but i feel like i'm just enabling you at this point.
it wasn't reciprocated to the extent that i would have liked.
i have needs and i can't be your biggest cheerleader if you aren't mine.
there were times when you didn't listen to me when i raised a boundary.
i really didn't like that.
so i'm going to sort these feelings out.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
January 1, 2024 4:47am UTC

i used to be the friend that takes on average 72 hours to respond to a text. but now you've turned me into a different type of beast. i'm anxiously attached to my phone until the release hits and i get a text from you. the anxiety seeps out and transforms into a bubbly light feeling in my head. i don't like that my mood still dips down with the affect or inflection of others. i'm not happy that i will have to feel this little discomfort till the day i die. i'm not happy that he's so different from what i know is good for me. i hate that most days i get through by a combination of visual, auditory and physical distractions. i hate how numbed out and callous i can be when i'm hurt. i hate that sometimes writing things down is the only way i can recognise how i am doing. this whole time i was trying to keep him afloat but it killed a piece of me. my toxic positivity leaves me starved of attention and so infuriatingly meek. i've fallen for a friend that i see no future with. till this day seeing my mother laugh with my sister makes me happy and stings me just as bad. when i can't get a word in it brings me back to the worst feeling of all. so many disconnected feelings exist within me and i wish i could have it all sorted out once and for all.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
December 24, 2023 9:04am UTC

And I knew
you'd come back to me
You'd come back to me
And you'd come back to me
And you'd come back.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
December 24, 2023 3:42am UTC

it takes
hard work
pain and
discipline.
it's not meant to be easy.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
December 22, 2023 11:54am UTC

maybe you're my first true love or first ever heart break.
i don't know how you'd feel about any of that
i never know who you're texting back.
i just know you can always come back to me.
tonight i don't know if you're out drinking with friends.
you said it'd be the last time, but i'm not sure.
i just know you can always come back to me.
all i know for certain is that you can trust me.
maybe you're the biggest mistake or the greatest gift of my life.
i'm not sure how to feel about any of this.
i just like speaking to you and having you around.
i hope this feeling doesn't expire for you before reaching me.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
December 22, 2023 11:41am UTC

when we don't speak as often or when you don't respond the way i want you to,
i feel it slipping from me.
when i can't meet your needs and comfort you in the ways i know i should,
i feel you slipping away from me.
when i hear you joke around with her, i feel it then too.
do you feel that way when i joke around with him?
i know we're so similar.
but i don't know if your heart is like mine.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
December 22, 2023 9:42am UTC

maybe i was just lonely?

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Dudu*
posted a quote
December 16, 2023 12:29pm UTC

truth be told,
i liked having your attention.
truth be told,
i liked how you would always be
the one to start conversation.
BUT I'LL BE GOOD NOW,
I'LL TRY TO MEET YOU HALF WAY.
i won't play games anymore.
if when i miss you, i'll reach out.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
December 11, 2023 1:54pm UTC

i don't know how i feel about you

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Dudu*
posted a quote
December 10, 2023 8:33am UTC

At the end of the day i'm the one
you text when you're in hospital.
I'm the one you stay back hours for. I'm the one you text during the day, at night, midnight and when the sun rises. I make you laugh and match your meme energy.
I'm the first one who showed interest in your journey to GOD. THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE EMBARASSING. i'M THE ONE WHO TRIED TO SUPPORT YOU WITHOUT JUDGEMENT.
AT THE END OF THE DAY IT'S BEEN ME.
SO HERE I AM.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
December 10, 2023 8:19am UTC

it feels like i'm just standing still and
watering a flowing stream.
i don't see the point cause there is no point.
yet here i am.
it's like i'm setting myself up
for the biggest fall of my life.
i know myself,
it's THE ONE THING I WOULD NEVER COMPROMISE.
he's too cute.
his eyes, smile, laugh.
i like it all.
But i know how it would end.
so here i am.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
November 13, 2023 12:43pm UTC

he's just so cuUuUuUute!
AH!!!

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Dudu*
posted a quote
November 10, 2023 12:03pm UTC

now my belly will ache in the name of poor self regulation.
you won't question it until the 34th hour.
cause that's all you ever noticed.
telling you i'm not doing well wasn't enough.
it always took a hunger strike to earn your attention.
one day i will be above this all.
one day i won't yearn for your concern at all.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
November 10, 2023 11:56am UTC

i wanna stack my pennies up so high and mighty.
so no one can dare peer over the wall that surrounds
me and my castle.
i wait and wait for the perfect moment.
the perfect moment where i'm not afraid of the
tight rope and mask snapping.
i know ma and pa couldn't save me from this.
they couldn't before, they wouldn't ever now.
this burden grows as does my bitterness.
late at night i wonder who i'd be if i received
all of their love.
who would i be if i even just felt seen.
i want to own my land but i'd have to stack paper
over the graves of my sanity and dignity to do that.
i yearn to meet the version of myself who is well rested
and well adjusted. the version of myself who has
grown beyond this childish feeling of inadequacy.

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Dudu*
posted a quote
November 1, 2023 1:33pm UTC

And yeah, I let you use me
from the day that we first met
And I knew that you turned it on
for everyone you've met
But I don't regret Falling for you

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Dudu*
posted a quote
October 28, 2023 9:04am UTC

"it's too complicated"
oh so is that how you respond to someone who cares about you?

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Dudu*
posted a quote
October 24, 2023 2:28pm UTC

regretting him was like
wishing you never found out
that love could be that strong

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Dudu*
posted a quote
October 16, 2023 10:35am UTC

i want you to be my good guy.

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