One Direction at their child's parent-teacher conference:
Teacher: Your child is such an angel student, one of my favorites, such a sweetheart!
Liam: Oh that's so great! I'm so proud of my angel child, I'm so proud honey, you deserve an ice cream okay my precious little gumdrop pumpkin pie lemon drop? I love you.
Teacher: Your child tends to eat in class...
Niall: Of course he eats, he's hungry. Us Horans are always hungry, you trying to starve my child?
Teacher: Your child seems easily distracted by all reflective surfaces. I'm kind of concerned.
Zayn: He has my genes. He's a good-looking kid, of course he likes to look at himself. I mean, who blames him?
Teacher: Your um...child tends to hit on his classmates' mothers and a few teachers. It's getting inappropriate.
Harry: Now son, that's not right. Stick with people your own age.
Harry (whispers in son's ear): Is that Sally's grandma? Damn, she's fit.
Teacher: Your child has quite an attitude. He is known to talk back to his teachers. He is too sassy for my liking.
Louis: I've taught him to stick up for himself. Who do you think you are? Omg, I can't believe you. Do you know who I am? Do you? 'cause no one treats my child like that. Omg you're totally like obnoxious. Ugh, how dare you?
Louis (snaps finger in Z formation): You're rude, goodbye.
nj