Can I tell the truth for a moment? Please, I just need to get this out.
People sicken me. I hate when they cry; it shows weakness. I hate when I cry too.
I may look happy all the time, but I'm not. No, really, I just don't want to see you upset, so I always try to make everyone happy.
Even if I don't like you, that doesn't mean I'll show it. I'll hide it and only tell a select few people. I'll still joke and play around with you because I hate seeing people upset. Even my least favorite person deserves to be happy, right?
When my mother cries, I get really annoyed. I don't know why, I just do. I'm not cold or unsympathetic, its just I don't like how she cries.
I put up this wall of mean, but I'm really not. Really, I try to be as accepting of others as others are to me. I may insult you, but I only do it jokingly. I don't mean it.
I don't know how to flirt, nor do I reconize when someone is flirting with me. If you ever think I'm flirting with someone you know or you, please note, I don't know how to, so I can't really tell if I'm coming off as flirtatious.
I think everyone is beautiful. Really, really beautiful. There are some that are not pretty in my eyes, but hardly anyone. Maybe thats me just being neive, but I think everyone has something beautiful about them. Inside and out. (Wow, cheesy, eh?)
Yeah, I can be mean, but I regret it later on. Usually the same day I say something rude, I want to take it back because I reconize it was imature. However, I may not do it to your face because I have a lot of pride and its hard.
Don't mistake my silence as anger or sadness, I am merely thinking of something. I sometimes drift off into lala land. Please don't think I'm ignoring you.
I'm a lot more serious than I must come off in conversations, I've discovered. When I act like my real self, people think its odd and that I'm just acting weird or a certain way.
When in school, I shift my personality for some reason. At home I'm silent and thoughtful. At school... Hyper and very out-of-control. Multiple times over have I tried to act differently, yet, somehow, it just shifts. Mulitple personalitys?
I thought of suicide a lot when I was Atheist. But thanks to one of my dear friends forcing me to go to church with her, I found god. I still struggle, but one day, it'll make a really great story to tell the kids :)