KimberlyluvsU

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KimberlyluvsU

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Member Since: 24 Jul 2011 08:02am

Last Seen: 5 Sep 2016 10:44pm

user id: 198735

144 Quotes
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69 Followers
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KimberlyluvsU
posted a quote
December 9, 2012 10:55am UTC

i might not be jesus
but i can turn water into kool -aid

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points

KimberlyluvsU
posted a quote
August 15, 2012 5:15pm UTC

friend: someone told me you look like an owl
me: who?
the whole class bursts into a roaring flame of laughter. tears start to fall from their eyes from laughing so hard. the principal walks in the room and slaps his knee. the local animals come in and create waves of laughter. god is laughing so hard he cant breathe. jesus starts clapping his hands and cracking up. the laughter dies down after about 2 hours, and everybody goes home with the memory of the funniest joke they've ever heard.

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KimberlyluvsU
posted a quote
August 12, 2012 2:59pm UTC

No, Mom. I go to Hogwarts.
Mom: So are you ready for school tomorrow?
Me: What? I don't start tomorrow. I start Wednesday.
Mom: What are you talking about?
Me: September 1st is when I start, Mom.
Mom: No. Stop being silly. I'm waking you up at six tomorrow.
Me: Why? The train doesn't leave until eleven.
Mom: What train? Stop being ridiculous. You're scaring me. Now did you get all your supplies?
Me: No. I have almost everything, but I still need my owl. Will you pick it up for me?
Mom: I'm serious. Quit.
Me: Mom. I'm scared.
Mom: Oh, honey! Why?
Me:.... What if they put me in Slytherin?
Mom: GO TO YOUR ROOM. -tumblr

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KimberlyluvsU
posted a quote
June 15, 2012 10:00pm UTC

click to see this quote

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KimberlyluvsU
posted a quote
June 5, 2012 2:33pm UTC

THE PSYCHO TEST
(Are you the next psycho ?)
A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, meets a guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was simply amazing. She fell in love right there but never asked for his number and could not find him.
A few days later,the woman kills her sister.
Why did she kill her sister?
If you answered “Because she hoped the guy would show up to her sister’s funeral” you think like a psychopath.

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KimberlyluvsU
posted a quote
May 31, 2012 10:57pm UTC

Kola: I have the necessary Koalafications
Elephants: Your Koalaiaifcations are completely irrelephants
Lion: Don't listen to him. HE'S LION
Bear:This argument is becoming UNBEARABLE.
*THIS ARGUMENT IS SO HAWKWARD*

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KimberlyluvsU
posted a quote
May 31, 2012 8:39pm UTC

There is a question on my mind all day... :/
Tell me :)
I dont think you can help me with this babe
Please tell!Whatever it is ,I'll give you a honest anwser
how do mermaids make love...?
Are you serious? -_-

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KimberlyluvsU
posted a quote
May 29, 2012 10:46pm UTC


nahnahnahnahnahnahnah
Lucyfacex,yo!
wooooooooooyieeeeeeeeww
pepepepeppepepepepeppieeww
Cop: "THIS IS THE POLICE .
OPEN YOUR DOORNOW!!!."
Me: "Not with that attitude♥

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KimberlyluvsU
posted a quote
May 28, 2012 8:22pm UTC

*talking to a friend*
Friend: hey, guess what
Me: what?
Friend: just guess
Me: i have no clue just tell me
Friend: nope guess
Me: you broke up with chis
Friend:nope, nice try
Me: you got a car
Friend:no
Me:...
Friend: again
Me:JUST TELL ME OR I AM GOING TO HAVE YOUR FAMILY GUESSING HOW YOU DIED!!! -_-
Friend:
Me:
Friend:
Me:
Friend:nevermind
-true story-

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KimberlyluvsU
posted a quote
May 28, 2012 7:54pm UTC

police: THIS IS THE POLICE! OPEN YOUR DOOR NOW!!!
me: not with that attitude.

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KimberlyluvsU
posted a quote
May 28, 2012 7:52pm UTC

Avengers pick up lines:
Steve: Are you from the 1940s? Because I'd really love to have a future with you.
Thor: I will make sure that you are "Thor in the morning". Clint:I always hit the bullseye...if you know what i mean. ;D
Bruce: They don't call me incredible for nothing, hehe. .
Tony: Hi, I'm Tony Stark.

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KimberlyluvsU
posted a quote
May 28, 2012 2:12am UTC

Girl: I'm having heart surgery today.
Boy: I know.
Girl: I love you!
Boy: I love you more!
*After heart surgery her dad is the only person in the room.*
Girl: Where is he?
Dad: Don't you know who gave you the heart?
Girl: (Starts crying)
Dad: Im just kidding he went to the bathroom.

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KimberlyluvsU
posted a quote
May 28, 2012 2:07am UTC

Hunger Games
when i have kids I'm going to lie and tell them that the hunger games are real and that every time they misbehave their names goes into the reaoing and their chances of getting sent into the area grow higher.
-Josh Hutcherson

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KimberlyluvsU
posted a quote
May 28, 2012 1:56am UTC

Dumbest rumor you ever heard about youself ?
-______-
"When I was in middle school people were saying that I was Home Schooled"
Even though I went to school

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KimberlyluvsU
posted a quote
May 28, 2012 1:47am UTC

click to see this quote

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KimberlyluvsU
posted a quote
May 28, 2012 1:45am UTC

so why did the elephant go into the men's bathroom?
why?
to get some nuts

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KimberlyluvsU
posted a quote
May 28, 2012 1:34am UTC

"My BFF Becky
text and says she's
kissed Johnny' '
Well that's a problem
' ' BECAUSE I LIKE JOHNNY"
- Mayhem (Allsate)
Mayhem is Coming

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KimberlyluvsU
posted a quote
May 28, 2012 1:18am UTC

Friend: So where are you from? Heaven
Me: Yeah,I'm a ghost. I died 15 years ago ,like that pick-up line.
Friend: ...
nnmq

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KimberlyluvsU
posted a quote
May 28, 2012 1:11am UTC

"Hey, do you know one direction?' '
Yes, all of them actullay
' ' North^, South v, East>, & West<"
-Tumblr
First one direction quote ;D

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points

KimberlyluvsU
posted a quote
March 18, 2012 5:18pm UTC

10 years old:
I whip my hair back & forth.
16 years old:
I pass my 1st beer back & forth.
30 years old:
I drive my kids back & forth.
80 years old:
I rock my chair back & forth.

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