Love me even on the days I hate myself. Love me even when the decisions I make are dumb. Choose to love me when I sabotage myself. Please stay when I tell you to leave. Please don't hate me, when I say I want you to. I say I don't ask for much, but in reality I do. Please stick by me even when I'm being stubborn. I love you and you know that won't change. I hope you'll love me even on those days.
clinquant* posted a quote
November 14, 2017 9:57pm EST
I try to live without you, the tears fall from my eyes; I’m alone and I feel empty, god I’m torn apart inside. I look up at the stars, hoping you’re doing the same, and somehow I feel closer, and I can hear you say oh... I miss you, oh... I need you. — Stay
i look for you in everyone I meet and maybe thats why I can't move on. the guy in my third period class has your dimples and I swear the guy down the hall wears your colonge. and honestly I can't help but feel feverish whenever I spot the silhouette of that one guy on the first floor because if I squint a little, and in the right light, his hair is almost the same as yours and sometimes, almost is enough to get my heart racing. I know I'm supposed to forget you and i know i'm supposed to move on. but I also know that I'm not supposed to stay up this late crying. and I know I shouldn't be drinking. and I definitely should be doing my schoolwork. but that doesn't change the fact that it's 2 in the morning and an empty bottle is sitting where my textbooks should be.& tomorrow, I'll be in class sitting next to a boy whose eyes crinkle when he laughs, just like yours.
Curls “ I love your hair” A sentence i heard as a child almost as religiously as my father telling me to pray. Small midnight curly Qs unlike anyone else's, framed my face. My hair is a dandelion , beautiful to look at yet difficult to work through and too much to handle at times. My mom had to go to war with my hair before it would cooperate, still she would say “ I love your hair” As my age started to climb its way up the mountain of adolescence, I abolished the spirals for a trendier, straight hair style. I would kill each strand by crushing them between two hot plates. Everywhere my eyes landed I was reminded no one had curls like mine. Reminded my hair, like my melanin, sets me apart from everyone else. My curls forced to be covered by my insecurity of being too different. “ I love your hair” They would say to me as fingers ran through the layers of silk that flowed down to the middle of my back , an amazon river of hair. I would smile and say thank you , while on the inside shaking with happiness, brought on by social acceptance. Knowing someone could run five digits through my hair with absolute ease satisfied me to no end. “ I love your hair” My mom would tell me as I refused to step foot outside of the house without straight hair. Only allowing my hair to breathe for the miniscule ten minutes after I left the shower, before torturing it with unruly heat. The ringlets screaming in agony, in sync with my scalp who had had enough of the constant tugging. My wrists became weak as the hours went by, still I pushed through. Never stopping until every piece of hair was the straightest it could be. “I love your hair” Friends who had gotten a rare glimpse of it’s true form would say, trying to convince me to join them in the pool. Countless summers I spent cooking under the sun by choice. Refusing to put even a foot in the water as if it were lava. I feared the smallest drop would land on my head and un mask the monster that resides behind it. I was ashamed of my hair, myself, my blackness. “ I love my hair” I say now after four years of embracing the garden of hair with open arms. Even as I struggle to find the nutrients to make it flourish and the techniques to allow it to sit just right. It is loud when it is let down to speak, grows bigger as the wind brushes by. My curls have healed from the abuse I have put them through. Today they thrive, just like I , My hair was never meant to conform to society's demands. And Whenever my eyes land , I am reminded no one has hair like me and that’s why I love my hair.
nicole🌹* posted a quote
August 12, 2017 8:20pm EDT
"sometimes i look at pictures of you and it doesn't hurt. sometimes the remembering is like landing on my feet on the concrete after a fall: no sting, no blood. and sometimes it's like a firecracker in my chest goes off and i think, 'we were in love here' and it hurts. oh god, it's agony."
I'm so glad that my dad and I afinally starting to get close to each other, and yet it only took 17 years. I used to always think that we would never have that perfect father daughter relationship like every girl does. And now I'm really thinking that we might and there's nothing else in the worl to make me this happy.