Joojoobees2011

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Joojoobees2011

Status: eating goldfish~

Member Since: 22 Nov 2011 02:29pm

Last Seen: 8 Aug 2017 03:43pm

Birthday: March 11

Location: Illinois

Gender: F

user id: 241586

140 Quotes
1,486 Favorites
134 Following
110 Followers
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hi i'm lauren tomlinson

Joojoobees2011
posted a quote
April 6, 2013 10:32am UTC

*Me eating with people*
Me: ill pay
Everyone in their heads: Better order the most expensive thing here

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point

Joojoobees2011
posted a quote
April 2, 2013 9:09am UTC

My mom making dinner:
Mom: Im making enough for you and your sister okay?
Me: okay
*when she put it on the table*
Me: mom..... both of those plates combined isnt enought for half of me

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points

Joojoobees2011
posted a quote
March 31, 2013 5:19pm UTC

That one kid that you know and think to yourself:
Yep... you're going to be a pedophile when you grow up

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points

Joojoobees2011
posted a quote
March 31, 2013 4:25pm UTC

That one kid that you know and think to yourself:
Yep... you're going to be a pedophile when you grow up

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points

Joojoobees2011
posted a quote
March 16, 2013 9:11pm UTC

Me eating fries by myself: shoves 20 fries in my mouth at once
Me eating fries with people: slowly eats one at a time
^shoves 20 fries in my mouth at once

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points

Joojoobees2011
posted a quote
March 13, 2013 8:44am UTC

Me looking for something:
Me: MOOOOM! Where is it!?!
Mom: IN THE CLOSET!
Me:*looks in closet for five minutes* I CANT FIND IT!!
Mom: Lauren... if i come down there an find it
Me: You wont!!
Mom: *looks in closet for five second and find it*
Me: ...... thanks.....

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points

Joojoobees2011
posted a quote
March 12, 2013 5:12pm UTC

Trying to catch snowflakes on your tounge
31%—in your eyes
43%—on your face
24%—up your nose
2%—in your mouth

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Joojoobees2011
posted a quote
March 12, 2013 5:05pm UTC

How to make your cold shower water feel warmer
-------------------------------
Method 1:
•turn your shower water on super cold
•stand under it for 10ish seconds
•after you stop having a panic attack about the coldness turn it back hot
Method 2:
•get out of the way of the water or even out of the shower
•spin around and make yourself really cold
•get back under the water
You're Welcome

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

Joojoobees2011
posted a quote
March 7, 2013 11:37pm UTC

I make the most simple tasks into a freaking
Horror movie
Me getting out of shower: *hears the faucet slowly drip* *steps towards curtain and carefully reaches hand out* *rips curtain open to find my clothes scattered on the floor and not a murderer*

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

Joojoobees2011
posted a quote
February 28, 2013 5:56pm UTC

Those chills you get when he walks in the room
^it's cold

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Joojoobees2011
posted a quote
February 27, 2013 9:18pm UTC

4 Easy Steps to Doing Anything
1.) Try
2.) Fail
3.) Collapse
4.) Cry

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Joojoobees2011
posted a quote
February 27, 2013 4:53pm UTC

*Gets home from school at 3:44 after school*
Most parents: Great job getting home on time and being responsible!
My parents: *spin around in a swirly chair petting a cat* So... it's 3:44 and you're just now getting home huh? YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE HOME BY 3:40 YOUNG LADY! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? WHO WERE YOU WITH?! DO WE KNOW THEIR PARENTS?! WHAT KIND OF GRADES DO THEY GET IN SCHOOL?!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 16 points

Joojoobees2011
posted a quote
February 25, 2013 9:13pm UTC

Every other time im on witty
there's a new format that i have no idea how to use

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Joojoobees2011
posted a quote
February 12, 2013 9:02am UTC

When you talk about your parents:
To your friends: My parents....
To your best friend: Mom and Dad...

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Joojoobees2011
posted a quote
February 8, 2013 11:59pm UTC

Dear makers of facewash,
Your bursting beads do not exfoliate my face and wake me up. They make my face all red and itchy.
Sincerely,
My face isn't smooth yet.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points

Joojoobees2011
posted a quote
February 4, 2013 9:08pm UTC

Me: Mom, can I go to the library?
Mom: You have to clean your room first.
Me: Fiiiine*cleans room*
Me:*Puts cup from room in sinks*
Mom: Whats wrong woth you?! Wash that!
Me: *Washes cup*
Mom: Well arent you going wash the other things in the sinks too?!? And while you're at it empty the dishwasher too
Me: -____-
Moral of the story: don't ask to go to the library

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

Joojoobees2011
posted a quote
January 12, 2013 2:08pm UTC

Mom: GO CLEAN YOUR ROOM! NOW.
Me: come on mom my room isnt that dirty
Mom: oh ya? Lets go to your room right now.
Me: okay then
*goes to room and its a complete mess*
Me: um... everythings on display
Me:
Mom:
Me: like a museum

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 12 points

Joojoobees2011
posted a quote
January 8, 2013 8:39pm UTC

Teachers expect us not to run in the halls but yet
they give us classes on opposite sides of the school
and 3 minutes to get there

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points

Joojoobees2011
posted a quote
January 3, 2013 11:10am UTC

*When God Made Me*
God: better add 3 tablespoons of socially awkard
God: and 5 teaspoons of computer addict for good measure
God: and a pinch of sexy
God: darn, we are all out of sexy
God: .....
God: more socially akward and computer addict it is!

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 137 points

Joojoobees2011
posted a quote
December 24, 2012 10:25am UTC

And who else can't remember what they did all day
before they found witty

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