Jessiebaby's Favorites

Jessiebaby
posted a quote
January 22, 2012 11:05pm UTC

The most irritating thing when we were kids was not seeing the heads of people on cartoons.

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Jahyvie
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 4:03pm UTC

A 50 year old white woman arrived at her seat on a crowded flight and immediantly didnt want the seat. The seat was next to a black man.
Disgusted, the woman immediantly summoned the flight attendant and ordered for a new seat. The woman said "i cannot sit next to this black man" After checking the flight attendant came back and stated "Ma'am I'am sorry but there are no seats, we can check first class, and then ask the captain if you may transfer" About 10 minutes passed and the flight attendant returned and stated "There is one seat in first class. its is our company policy to never move someone from the class to first class but seeing that a customer is uncomfortable and it would be a scandal to force soemoen to sit next to such an UNPLEASANT person the captain ahs agreed to let the switch happen." Before the woman could say anything the attendent gestured to the black man and said "Therefore sir, if you could so kindly retrieve your personal items, we would like to move you to the comfort of first class because the captain thinks you shouldnt have to sit next to such an unpleasant person" Passangers around them began to applaud as some even gave a standing ovation.
♥

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Singyourheartout
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 11:12am UTC

Me: I'm gonna work hard and study this year. Get my grades. Spend less time on the internet.
Mom: Great, honey! I'm so proud of you.
Computer: Lawl, noes

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ilovemikaylaandmelissa
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 12:12pm UTC

click to see this quote

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loveisjustlove
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 10:02am UTC

Thing wittians hate #1
when people ask,
"What's witty?"
mq/mf
shall i do a series?

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iamManny
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 4:14pm UTC

My brain is like the Bermuda
Triangle
Information goes in then never to be seen again

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MaddyWaddy
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 3:23pm UTC

This listerally just happened
me: *Listening to Dora in the background*
dora: Blow harder.
me: What are they teaching kids these days?

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MyNamesDillon
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 3:40pm UTC

If a guy wants to date a guy, who are you to stop him?
and if a girl wants to date a girl, who are you to stop them?
People can date whoever the hell they want.

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WonderfulLove
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 12:13pm UTC

Wow, Witty changed?
I didn't notice it!
Thank you for making 1283469 quotes about it to remind me!

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espoir00
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 11:03am UTC

From the bottom of the staircase...
t o t h e t o p o f t h e c h a r t s .
7. 23. 10.

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Nathannn
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 1:43pm UTC

I hate it when...
it's really hot out and you just wanna rip your clothes off.

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littleleftofthemiddle
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 6:53pm UTC

Dad: why are your eyes red?
Me: i smoke marajuana, dad
Dad: don't lie to me, you were crying because you have no friends

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Onism*
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 11:21am UTC

"Everything in this room is edible, even I'm edible, but that, my dear children, is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies"-Willy Wonka

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Bravosierra*
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 1:31pm UTC

click to see this quote

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BravoSierra
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 12:08pm UTC

Yes, Witty has changed. But how about instead of complaining about it, we thank Steve for all the hard work and effort he put into making this new site for us. When Witty chaned last time, people complained, but they got over it. Thank you Steve for all the hard work you put into this for us. ❤

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Olisbabe *
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 9:12am UTC

DON'T LIE AT ONE POINT
We all thought the McFlurry spoons from McDonalds were also straw's......
nmq

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luceclark
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 6:04pm UTC

*Seeing a hot guy*
Me - Oh God he is hot, please have my babies
Best Friend - Wait a sec, I got this
Best Friend - OI YOU WITH THE HOT FACE
Hot Guy - *Turns Around*
Best Friend - THIS KID WILL HAPPILY TAKE YOUR KIDS, CALL HER
Me -
Best Friend - Told you I got this
This is why I love my best friend

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str0ng
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 12:03pm UTC

OMG, Witty just changed!
Rest In Peace, Old Witty.

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ImOnlyATeen
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 7:14pm UTC

me: why are those guys staring at me?
me:is there something on my face?
me:is there something on my shirt?
me:they're probably laughing at how ugly i am.
me:they probably find it amusing how fat i am.
friend:maybe they think you're cute.
me:are you stupid or something?
tumblr.

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kylaz323
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 11:13am UTC

Roses are red, Violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you(:
Awwww<3
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head(;

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Jessiebaby