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Jessiebaby

  1. Jessiebaby Jessiebaby
    posted a quote
    January 22, 2012 11:05pm UTC
    The most irritating thing when we were kids was not seeing the heads of people on cartoons.

  2. Jahyvie Jahyvie
    posted a quote
    July 23, 2012 4:03pm UTC
    A 50 year old white woman arrived at her seat on a crowded flight and immediantly didnt want the seat. The seat was next to a black man.
    Disgusted, the woman immediantly summoned the flight attendant and ordered for a new seat. The woman said "i cannot sit next to this black man" After checking the flight attendant came back and stated "Ma'am I'am sorry but there are no seats, we can check first class, and then ask the captain if you may transfer" About 10 minutes passed and the flight attendant returned and stated "There is one seat in first class. its is our company policy to never move someone from the class to first class but seeing that a customer is uncomfortable and it would be a scandal to force soemoen to sit next to such an UNPLEASANT person the captain ahs agreed to let the switch happen." Before the woman could say anything the attendent gestured to the black man and said "Therefore sir, if you could so kindly retrieve your personal items, we would like to move you to the comfort of first class because the captain thinks you shouldnt have to sit next to such an unpleasant person" Passangers around them began to applaud as some even gave a standing ovation.

  3. Singyourheartout Singyourheartout
    posted a quote
    July 23, 2012 11:12am UTC
    Me: I'm gonna work hard and study this year. Get my grades. Spend less time on the internet.
    Mom: Great, honey! I'm so proud of you.
    Computer: Lawl, noes

  4. ilovemikaylaandmelissa ilovemikaylaandmelissa
    posted a quote
    July 23, 2012 12:12pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  5. loveisjustlove loveisjustlove
    posted a quote
    July 23, 2012 10:02am UTC
    Thing wittians hate #1
    when people ask,
    "What's witty?"
    mq/mf
    shall i do a series?

  6. iamManny iamManny
    posted a quote
    July 23, 2012 4:14pm UTC
    My brain is like the Bermuda
    Triangle
    Information goes in then never to be seen again

  7. MaddyWaddy MaddyWaddy
    posted a quote
    July 23, 2012 3:23pm UTC
    This listerally just happened
    me: *Listening to Dora in the background*
    dora: Blow harder.
    me: What are they teaching kids these days?

  8. MyNamesDillon MyNamesDillon
    posted a quote
    July 23, 2012 3:40pm UTC
    If a guy wants to date a guy, who are you to stop him?
    and if a girl wants to date a girl, who are you to stop them?
    People can date whoever the hell they want.

  9. WonderfulLove WonderfulLove happy birthday!
    posted a quote
    July 23, 2012 12:13pm UTC
    Wow, Witty changed?
    I didn't notice it!
    Thank you for making 1283469 quotes about it to remind me!

  10. espoir00 espoir00
    posted a quote
    July 23, 2012 11:03am UTC
    From the bottom of the staircase...
    t o t h e t o p o f t h e c h a r t s .
    7. 23. 10.

  11. Nathannn Nathannn
    posted a quote
    July 23, 2012 1:43pm UTC
    I hate it when...
    it's really hot out and you just wanna rip your clothes off.

  12. littleleftofthemiddle littleleftofthemiddle
    posted a quote
    July 23, 2012 6:53pm UTC
    Dad: why are your eyes red?
    Me: i smoke marajuana, dad
    Dad: don't lie to me, you were crying because you have no friends

  13. Onism* Onism*
    posted a quote
    July 23, 2012 11:21am UTC
    "Everything in this room is edible, even I'm edible, but that, my dear children, is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies"-Willy Wonka

  14. Bravosierra* Bravosierra*
    posted a quote
    July 23, 2012 1:31pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  15. BravoSierra BravoSierra
    posted a quote
    July 23, 2012 12:08pm UTC
    Yes, Witty has changed. But how about instead of complaining about it, we thank Steve for all the hard work and effort he put into making this new site for us. When Witty chaned last time, people complained, but they got over it. Thank you Steve for all the hard work you put into this for us. ❤

  16. Olisbabe * Olisbabe *
    posted a quote
    July 23, 2012 9:12am UTC
    DON'T LIE AT ONE POINT
    We all thought the McFlurry spoons from McDonalds were also straw's......
    nmq

  17. luceclark luceclark
    posted a quote
    July 23, 2012 6:04pm UTC
    *Seeing a hot guy*
    Me - Oh God he is hot, please have my babies
    Best Friend - Wait a sec, I got this
    Best Friend - OI YOU WITH THE HOT FACE
    Hot Guy - *Turns Around*
    Best Friend - THIS KID WILL HAPPILY TAKE YOUR KIDS, CALL HER
    Me -
    Best Friend - Told you I got this
    This is why I love my best friend

  18. str0ng str0ng
    posted a quote
    July 23, 2012 12:03pm UTC
    OMG, Witty just changed!
    Rest In Peace, Old Witty.

  19. ImOnlyATeen ImOnlyATeen
    posted a quote
    July 23, 2012 7:14pm UTC
    me: why are those guys staring at me?
    me:is there something on my face?
    me:is there something on my shirt?
    me:they're probably laughing at how ugly i am.
    me:they probably find it amusing how fat i am.
    friend:maybe they think you're cute.
    me:are you stupid or something?
    tumblr.

  20. kylaz323 kylaz323
    posted a quote
    July 23, 2012 11:13am UTC
    Roses are red, Violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you(:
    Awwww<3
    But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head(;

:)

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