Witty Profiles

ImNotArObOt*

1. ImNotArObOt*
   posted a quote
   January 6, 2014 4:16pm UTC
   You want a perfect girl? Go buy a barbie.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
2. ImNotArObOt*
   posted a quote
   January 5, 2014 2:52pm UTC
   antisocial
   antisocool
   aint-I-so-cool
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 18 points
3. ImNotArObOt*
   posted a quote
   January 5, 2014 1:34pm UTC
   Weird is cool.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points
4. ImNotArObOt*
   posted a quote
   January 3, 2014 7:12pm UTC
   Nobody dies a virgin. Life fvcks us all.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points
5. ImNotArObOt*
   posted a quote
   January 2, 2014 3:07pm UTC
   *Wonders why there aren't many guys on here*
   *Realizes most of them have a girlfriend and a social life*
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 31 points
6. ImNotArObOt*
   posted a quote
   January 1, 2014 6:51pm UTC
   My Five year old son is glued to the tv...
   It's hilarious. I've also super-glued the dog to the window.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 27 points
7. ImNotArObOt*
   posted a quote
   January 1, 2014 11:09am UTC
   My goal in 2014 is to accomplish the goals of 2013
   which I should have done in 2012
   because I promised them in 2011
   and had planned it in 2010
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 54 points
8. ImNotArObOt*
   posted a quote
   December 31, 2013 2:44pm UTC
   'New year, new me.'
   B.tch you're going to be the same dumba.ss at 12:01
   as the one you were at 11:59, so please shut up.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 34 points
9. ImNotArObOt*
   posted a quote
   December 25, 2013 7:24pm UTC
   I've been putting a lot of thought into it, and I don't think being an adult is going to work for me.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 15 points
10. ImNotArObOt*
    posted a quote
    December 25, 2013 7:20pm UTC
    ''Dont worry, the spider is smaller than you.''
    ''Yeah, so is a grenade...''
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 14 points
11. ImNotArObOt*
    posted a quote
    December 24, 2013 2:19pm UTC
    Why are some fries longer than an average potato?
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 6 points
12. ImNotArObOt*
    posted a quote
    December 21, 2013 8:38am UTC
    I don't friendzone people, I relationshipzone them.
    So you want to be friends? Too bad.
    We're dating.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 16 points
13. ImNotArObOt*
    posted a quote
    December 21, 2013 5:58am UTC
    And if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones
    'Cause most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
14. ImNotArObOt*
    posted a quote
    December 20, 2013 1:16pm UTC
    You really wanna know what bugs her? How you talk to so many beautiful girls. Like, if she were to look at your inbox on your phone, it would be mostly girls, maybe a guy or two. If she were to go on your Facebook, she would mostly see girls writing on your wall or liking your statuses. & she would check out these girls herself & say, "Wow, she's gorgeous. I feel ugly now". She would also see pictures of you & other girls you used to be with, & she would think, "damn, you guys made a cuter couple than we do". But, she'll never admit it.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
15. ImNotArObOt*
    posted a quote
    December 19, 2013 2:52pm UTC
    Dear girls who want a 'thigh gap',
    You're all one step closer to being a mermaid, so who wins?
    Sincerely, you're beautiful without it.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points
16. ImNotArObOt*
    posted a quote
    December 17, 2013 12:02pm UTC
    People have such interesting lives, where interesting things happen and they can post it on here.
    And then there's me here, posting about how I got out of my room once just to go to the loo.
    -Sigh-
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 15 points
17. ImNotArObOt*
    posted a quote
    December 16, 2013 12:25pm UTC
    Being a good boyfriend is not gay. I can be such a good boyfriend. I don't give a fvck if my friends think I'm 'whipped' or not. I like to make my girl happy, so what? If my girl needs tampons, I'll go get her some without feeling embarrassed. If my girl wants to play around & put make-up on me or paint my nails for fun, sure, why not? (But I will NOT leave the house looking like that, nor can you take pictures.) If my girl wants me to stop talking to certain girls, I will. It's not that I dislike these girls, it's just out of respect for my girl & of course I expect her to do the same.
    -Peace, Jay.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 26 points
18. ImNotArObOt*
    posted a quote
    December 15, 2013 1:04pm UTC
    You know how you tell a girl she's pretty & she tells you 'No, I'm not'? Well, some girls say that because they know someone's gonna come along & say 'Shut up, you know you are.' But the rest of the girls who say they aren't pretty say it because that's how they really feel, not because they're thirsty for attention. Us guys, we can look at them & see someone beautiful, but when they look at themselves, they see things we don't see. They see stretch marks, little gut hanging out, hair growing in unwanted places, new pimples or acne scars, small bodily features that wouldn't catch the average guy's eye. There are those girls who can't take a compliment cause they want to keep hearing more & more, but some can't take a compliment cause they feel like they aren't good enough for it.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 64 points
19. ImNotArObOt*
    posted a quote
    December 14, 2013 8:51pm UTC
    Cannibal
    (n.) Someone who is fed up with people.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
20. ImNotArObOt*
    posted a quote
    December 14, 2013 11:34am UTC
    Gave birth on the steps, call it stepchild.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points

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