totallynotacat*

Status: Cats are all I think about

Member Since: 14 Jan 2012 10:17pm

Last Seen: 1 Jan 2015 03:06am

Gender: F

user id: 263746

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Up for league? Summoner name: Miss Goat
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totallynotacat*
posted a quote
November 4, 2013 3:07pm UTC

Okay so today in math class some really rude and just overall nasty gal was saying, "Yeah no don't take my candy it's my reward after my workout" and all I could think was:
You shouldn't reward yourself with food, you're not a dog. Oh wait a frickin second, yes you are you little tramp.

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totallynotacat*
posted a quote
March 17, 2013 2:26am UTC

My mom's buying me pepper spray tomorrow,
and I know that should make feel safer,
but with my luck if I ever have to use it chances are
I'm going to accidentally spray myself in the face.

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totallynotacat*
posted a quote
January 14, 2013 3:53pm UTC

So a couple days ago, I was chatting with my boyfriend and our friend xbox live. It went a little something like this..
Me: Honestly, I never would have pictured me fitting in with our group. I've never really been a part of anything before.
Omar: Well actually, Jasmin...you weren't really a part of our group until you started dating Felipe.
Me: Oh...
Felipe: Yeah you were never really part-
I left the party right then and there.
Ouch. Not even my own boyfriend will defend after being together for 8 months...

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totallynotacat*
posted a quote
August 10, 2012 3:35pm UTC

Sometimes when I'm bored I like to pretend to be a llama and I walk around, spitting in peoples faces. Then I trot away slowly as if nothing happened.

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totallynotacat*
posted a quote
August 10, 2012 3:28pm UTC

I just created a new computer virus that only targets Apple.
It's a worm.

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totallynotacat*
posted a quote
August 10, 2012 3:24pm UTC

Am I the only one who thinks Supernatural is the best show to have ever aired on television?

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totallynotacat*
posted a quote
May 1, 2012 10:12pm UTC

How me and my best guy friend met:
Him: Let's have makeup s*x. NOW.
Me: ...but we're strangers, bro...
Him: Ohey, our very first argument!
Not sure if he made it up or not, but it was cute. :3

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points

totallynotacat*
posted a quote
May 1, 2012 9:09pm UTC

Sometimes when I'm class, I wonder what my crush would think if I just dropped dead and they happened to see the paramedics carrying me out.

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totallynotacat*
posted a quote
April 22, 2012 9:56pm UTC

I used to like dupstep,
but then I took an arrow to the-
arrow to the-
arrow to the-
WUB WUB WUBBY WUBBWUB WUB.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points

totallynotacat*
posted a quote
April 22, 2012 9:40pm UTC

Principal: "So, please explain to me again why on Earth you bit them."
Me: "Well, they kept poking me with a stick..."
Jokeception to whenxbothxourxcarsxcollide's joke. :3

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totallynotacat*
posted a quote
April 22, 2012 12:28am UTC

That firetruckin' yes moment when you realize you're comepletely over someone.

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totallynotacat*
posted a quote
April 14, 2012 11:09pm UTC

So today I was at Food 4 Less with my mom, waiting in line to pay.
There was a little girl, about the age of 4 or 5, in front of us with her mother. She had a little stuffed brown chihuahua with her, it was so adorable. She started asking me questions and her mom said not to bother me, I told her mom it was fine. Me and the girl started playing with her little stuffed animal, I told her about Marshmallow and she seemed happy to hear about her. I then noticed the red rash-like looking marks on her skin and how thin her hair was. She pulled me away and told me, "You're older so you have to be smart. Please tell my mommy I'm okay and I don't want to see her crying because I'm sick. Tell her I'm okay, I just don't want to see her cry anymore."
I then realized she had cancer. The thin hair and redness were just from chemotherapy. I had to keep a composed face and told her, "Sometimes mommys cry because they're scared. If you see her crying, hug her and let her know you're fine."
It's amazing how this happened in a matter of a few minutes.
This young girl is brave. I wish young Emily and her mother the best.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 19 points

totallynotacat*
posted a quote
March 30, 2012 1:53am UTC

So the new Titanic 3D is out.
Maybe they'll see the freaking iceberg this time.

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totallynotacat*
posted a quote
March 22, 2012 8:31pm UTC

*Mom hands me phone to answer*
Me: Hello?
Telemarketer: Hello, is your mother home?
Me: I have no mother.
Her: Well can I speak to your father?
Me: Yeah, which one?
Her: Which one is home?
Me: Well they're both home..but I don't think you want to talk to Carlos. He just went through a breakup with his boyfriend, Antonio.
Her: Oh, so your fathers' names are Carlos and Antonio?
Me: No, no! My fathers' names are Carlos and Mark.
Her: So who's Antonio?
Me: I just told you, Carlos's ex.
Her: So Carlos was cheating?
Me: Yes, but that's only because Mark was cheating with Edith, our neighbor.
Her: So Carlos cheated only because Mark cheated?
Me: No, he THOUGHT Mark was cheating.
Her: So Mark wasn't cheating?
Me: I never said that.
Her: Yes, yes you did!
Me: No I didn't.
Her: Y-yes! You did!
Me: Did what?
Her: Y-you-Nevermind have a nice day, goodbye.
My mom's reaction=priceless.

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totallynotacat*
posted a quote
March 22, 2012 8:22pm UTC

Mom: Why the hell did you ditch school? Were you eating weed or f-f*cking some guy?!
Me: Mom, it's smoking weed, not eating, and no. I was at the park playing Pokemon...
Her: WHAT? NO ONE GOES TO THE PARK TO PLAY POKEMON!
FOREVER ALONE.

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totallynotacat*
posted a quote
March 12, 2012 1:20am UTC

This Kony 2012 stuff is something else.
I haven't seen this many white people interested about what's going on in Africa since Mufasa died.

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totallynotacat*
posted a quote
March 10, 2012 1:34am UTC

‎On the phone
Mom: What else do you want from the store?
Me: Nothing-OH WAIT. Buy me lettuce!
Her: Water?
Me: NO. LETTUCE.
Her: Why do you want water?
Me: MOM I SAID LETTUCE.
Her: Just plain water? Why? We have water at home.
Me: MOTHER I SAID LETTUCE. L-E-T-T-laughs never freaking mind, just buy me my monster. hangs up
mom calls back
Me: Hello?
Her: Did you mean butter?
And this is why I love my hearing impaired mother. ♥

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totallynotacat*
posted a quote
March 8, 2012 9:22pm UTC

SAD STORY:
Boy: Make me a sandwich.
Girl: No.
Favorite this quote if you cried.

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totallynotacat*
posted a quote
March 7, 2012 7:37pm UTC

Teacher: Now I want you to fold your paper lengthwise.
Me: BRO, hamburger or hotdog?

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totallynotacat*
posted a quote
March 7, 2012 7:07pm UTC

When my parents are asleep: Shh, they're sleeping.
When I'm asleep: Hey, I think I should vacuum the entire house.

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totallynotacat*