Dear Hannah,
I see your blue eyes, every time I close mine. You make it hard to see. Because nobody knows what it's like to be the "Bad man", to be the "Sad man" , behind blue eyes. You're so innocent, too innocent. There's so much behind you, so much that I may never know . But I am here, on a journey, on an adventure, to find the reason behind those eyes. To find the lies behind those eyes, to find the truth behind those eyes. And I know there is something there, because there is no emptiness in your soul. From the moment I met you, to now, I am in awe. Not knowing things would turn out this way. God took a twist, a twist through fate, through destiny. You know what they say, "God works in mysterious ways". And even though one said that to correspond it to death, there is no death here, is there? We're both alive, alive and breathing. What a mask were wearing, because even though we're alive on the outside, we're dying on the inside. Why are we dying? Well, we were put here to figure that out. Just now, the song "You Found Me", came on. I just chuckled because it's wrong. The message left from the song, isn't correct, not in this situation. "Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me, lying on the floor, Surrounded, Surrounded. Why'd you have to wait? where were you? Where were you? Just a little late." Isn't that funny, just a little late? You were never late, early even, because it's never too late. Lost and insecure, can't tell you how true that is, but I never realized this is how I felt about myself. You did find me, and I was lucky to be found by you. Hannah, you're the one who has let me speak the truth. Because, just like I said in my speech, as secrets/problems/issues, start to bulid up and stay hidden, one will turn to beating themselves, hurting themselves, cutting themselves. I never turned to any of that, did I? Not at all, you know what I turned to? You, every time I had the chance to talk to you, i'd jump at it. Because you were, still are, the solution toall my problems, and I cannot believe I never figured that out until now. You've been with me through the long ride, but it isn't the end, it isn't even the end of the beginning, but perhaps the beginning of the introduction. And I am ready to advance to the next level. Are you? Of course you are, because when I am ready, you're ready. I know you are ready, because you are that other part of me. My missing peice. But you aren't missing anymore, you've solved the puzzle, and now, it's time for me to solve you. I have so much to say, so much, I haven't told you yet. And i'm sure you do as well. It takes time. And throughout this time period, is when it'll be said. Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't own it, but you can use it. You can't keep it, but you can spend it. Once you've lost it, you can never get it back. And that's what scares me, losing you. Because once i've lost you, I can never get you back. I am not asking for chances, because I shouldn't be making mistakes to start with. You symbolize many things in my mind, but one of the most important things that you symbolize is time, my time. All that time, wasted on you, it was all worth it, and it wasn't wasted, but earned. Our memories, will forever be cherised, and remembered. Now let's discuss "Our" goofy smile. I used to think it meant so much, it still does. But then I realized, a smile happens in a flash, but its memory can last a lifetime. My life, no matter how long, no matter how short, our memories will never fade, and will indeed go beyond a lifetime. “Life: a cycle. A series of events, meetings, and departures. Friends discovered, others lost, Precious time, wastes away. Big droplet tears are shed for yesterday, but are dried in time for tomorrow, until all that remain are foggy, broken memories of a happy yesteryear.” There is so much more than that, everyone has a unique way of living, but for the most part, this corresponds to almost everyone's life. But they forgot a part in that quote above. It goes right in the friends section, oh, how silly of me. They never forgot it. I wasn't reading correctly, I should learn to read between the lines next time. Because it says Hannah. It says so much more, but that is the number two thing on there. Number two, you're probably dying to figure out the truth behind that number, well it won't be told until after I figure out the truth behind you. Hannah, what do you think of when you hear the word friendship? I immediately think of you. You have proved to me that you are not only my bestfriend, but my sister. I hope I have proved the same to you. But if not, I understand, but I will work to the best of my ability to live up to that position. Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing. I'm not saying that I don't love you, because I do, like a brother loves his sister. You are and will always be my best friend. Lot's of people, so many, say we should date. I'm so tired of hearing that. Do you know why? Because friendship comes before a relationship. And friendship that flows from the heart cannot be frozen by adversity, as the water that flows from the spring cannot congeal in winter. That is how strong our friendship is. It is a responsiblity, never an opportunity. I don't think of you as a partner, but a sister. You are that other half to my heart. Such as twins seperated at birth, they are the other half to eachothers hearts. What i'm trying to say is, you will always be my best friend, my sister, nothing more. And I know it's the same with you. Others who surround us, I know the way they see it. I wanted to make things clear. Friendships are fragile things, and require as much handling as any other fragile and precious thing. Friendship, in my mind, goes before a relationship, it is above it, always will be. The best relationships-frienship, a relationship, where one knows the other more than anyone else can know that person. A relationship, where one can not only tell that person anything, but everything.
Continued...
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