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Member Since: 26 Dec 2011 08:41pm

Last Seen: 18 Sep 2014 06:08pm

Location: Missouri

Gender: F

user id: 255758

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I wish for a day where the only thing people dislike about me is that I'm not with them brightening their day. 

I don't really talk about this much, and we are a witty 'Family' and we need to start acting like it. So here it goes. I will tell you about myself.

I am 15, my name is Emma, and I am battling with depression and anxiety. It is a serious issue. My parents hate me for it. I am on Zoloft for it, but its so hard to get out of bed in the morning. I have missed school before I just couldn't get out of bed. The scars on my wrists, stomach, ankles, bottoms of my feet, and my thighs, are just things about me. If they could talk they would be able to tell you my life story. It really bothers me when people fake depression forattention, or they are completely fine but just feel ignored. I try and cover my scars, I hide them, most people don't know about them because it really is my coping mechanism, nota cry for attention. My dad loves me, theres no doubt about it, but he gets so mad at me. He doesn't understand it. All he can think about is that I'm young, I'm a model, I play competetive tennis and basketball, and we aren't struggling for money. Honestly, I wonder if he forgets that when I was 11 my best friend, Mikey, died from Mitral Valve Prolapse, or that when I was 12, my best friend Alexis died from Osteosarcoma, or that sometimes I get thrown around, or that last year I was beaten up in my foods class by 3 people because of my religion (that wasn't the only time its happened), or that I am constantly bullied because I'm tall, or because I'm a Baha'i not a Christian, does he forget that I am only 15 and he throws so much at me that I can't handle? Does he know that in the course of summer 2012, I've lost 2 of my best friends which caused them to talk to others and get them against me, too? Does he know that moving, finally getting settled, and then switching schools is hard to handle. Does he know that his verbal abuse just adds to my struggles everyday. I love him, but I just wish he could understand. 

It may sound strange but I am that girl, I am that girl that no matter her struggles she wont let anyone see it, and if someone else is upset she will make them laugh and be happy, secretly wishing someone would do that for her.

I love you all. When I finally do end life so my dad can go on with life and not worry about his daughter, so that no one will be bothered by me not being a Christian, so that no one will have to deal with me or my baggage, remember that my heart will belong to God and that you are loved, even if I was not.
  1. Irma_Jean Irma_Jean
    posted a quote
    May 8, 2014 7:59pm UTC
    This probably won't get that much attention, but I want you to read my profile. I wrote it 2 or 3 years ago and just logged back into witty to check in. I am 17 right now with a boyfriend of 10 months and I could not be happier with my life. When I wrote that I was angry and depressed and just a mess. Honestly, I was a cutter and I did think about suicide a lot. I am so glad I never went through with it and that I got the help I needed. Please talk to me if you need help or are having a rough time with life. It will get better, and I know that isn't what you want to hear, but it will. That's coming from me, a first hand survivor. I love you all. Please don't be afraid to hit me up, I've been in your shoes. Being a teenager is rough, I know, darlings.

  2. Irma_Jean Irma_Jean
    posted a quote
    November 29, 2012 10:55am UTC
    You're sad:
    I know you, I've been you
    You have anxiety:
    I know you, I am you
    You have depression:
    I know you, I am you
    You're afraid of people finding your scars:
    I know you, I am you
    You don't eat much, and when you eat you throw up:
    I know you, I am you
    You are suicidal:
    I know you, I am you.
    You feel alone in your struggles:
    I know you, I am you.
    You get bullied at home and school:
    I know you, I am you.
    I am sad
    I don't let people see it
    I have anxiety
    I pass out or throw up from being so worried and anxious
    I have depression
    I cut, I burn, I cry, I'm covered in scars
    I have scars I don't like people seeing
    I'm afraid they will treat me like I'm a ticking timebomb.
    I skip meals all the time
    My friends think I have homework to do during lunch, I throw up when I eat anyway
    I am suicidal,
    3 times in the past year I've been admitted to the hospital for attempting suicide
    I am alone in my struggles
    My friends don't understand what I'm going through, my parents think it's a phase
    I get bullied at home and at school
    My scars have been noticed, and I get treated badly for them. My family doesn't understand what I go through ever day
    Help me! is here

  3. Irma_Jean Irma_Jean
    posted a quote
    November 4, 2012 5:24pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  4. Irma_Jean Irma_Jean
    posted a quote
    October 27, 2012 11:53am UTC
    I get released from the hospital tomorrow.
    Thank you, everyone, for your support
    I hope one day I can help you like you helped me.
    I love you, and hope everything this world has to offer come to you.
    Stay fabulous, and don't make the mistakes I did.
    Those scars didn't ruin your body.
    You're a tiger that earned her stripes.
    Stay safe everyone, you're here for a reason.
    You may be a tiger, but I like my tigers living.
    You and I can be tigers together, as long as we both
    Stay safe, and alive.
    I love you all

  5. Irma_Jean Irma_Jean
    posted a quote
    October 24, 2012 7:40pm UTC
    I was in group today since being in the hospital.
    I said, "I slit my wrists and ruined my body."
    A boy tentatively walked up to me and said,
    "No, you're a tiger that earned her stripes."
    His name is Logan.
    Thank you Logan

  6. Irma_Jean Irma_Jean
    posted a quote
    October 23, 2012 11:51am UTC
    Greetings from the Missouri Psyciatric Center
    I woke up here with a million tubes in me last night,
    I had extreme blood loss from last night.
    I uess I didn't suceed.
    When I'm out of here, maybe, I will suceed,
    Or, just maybe, I will be better.
    The ward has some other people here,
    They all seem like me,
    I had been popular in school and now I'm here,
    They all seem proud of who they really are,
    Here, I can show my true colors,
    With these people I can be who I am.
    I hope no one from school visits me. I'm extremely tired and in pain
    Attempting suicide takes a lot from you.
    Good luck, girls.
    Don't follow in my footsteps.

  7. Irma_Jean Irma_Jean
    posted a quote
    October 22, 2012 11:21pm UTC
    I cut the other day.
    It was my first time cutting in a month.
    Do you want to know something?
    It felt awesome.
    If I don't succeed, tonight,
    I'll be in the hospital.
    If I do succeed tonight,
    Please place flowers on my grave.
    I love you.

  8. Irma_Jean Irma_Jean
    posted a quote
    October 11, 2012 10:54am UTC
    I heard once that they would rather hear about memories than enimies
    Rather hear what was or what will be than what is
    Rather hear how you got it over how much it cost you
    Rather hear about finding yourself than how you lost you
    Rather you make this an open letter,
    about family and struggle and it taking forever
    About hearts that you've broken and ties that you've severed
    No doubt in my mind that'll make them feel
    NMQ-- Drake-- TeamFollowBack--

  9. Irma_Jean Irma_Jean
    posted a quote
    September 4, 2012 7:49pm UTC
    I wish I could do it.
    I wish I could cut deeper.
    I wish I made a difference.
    I wish that someone will miss me.
    They won't miss me.
    I am nothing.
    Now I am gone. Tonight's the night.
    Goodbye everyone.

  10. Irma_Jean Irma_Jean
    posted a quote
    August 14, 2012 1:33pm UTC
    Fact about Emma (Me) #5
    I was the first freshman girl to play #1 Varsity on any team at my school (Girls Tennis 1st semester). My best friend was the first freshman boy to play #1 Varsity on any team at our school (Boys Tennis 2nd semester)
    7 likes for more

  11. Irma_Jean Irma_Jean
    posted a quote
    August 13, 2012 10:26pm UTC
    Fact About Emma (Me) #4
    I am addicted to Twitter and Instagram.
    7 faves for more?
    My friend bet me I couldn't get over 100 twitter followers by the end of the summer. I have a week left, and have 63 followers. If you care to help my Twitter is @Emma_LoveLee You don't have to help, but I do follow back.

  12. Irma_Jean Irma_Jean
    posted a quote
    August 13, 2012 10:07pm UTC
    Fact About Emma (Me) #3
    My last relationship ended on our 5 month anniversary, and he broke up with me through an email.
    October 1st - March 1st
    7 faves for more

  13. Irma_Jean Irma_Jean
    posted a quote
    August 9, 2012 3:10pm UTC
    Fact About Emma (Me) #2
    I play 5 different sports for my school
    1. Tennis
    2. Basketball
    3. Soccer
    4. Track
    5. Cheerleading/PomSquad
    Should I do more? 7 Faves for more

  14. Irma_Jean Irma_Jean
    posted a quote
    August 7, 2012 1:33am UTC
    They told me to be M.Y.S.E.L.F.
    Then they J U D G E D M E

  15. Irma_Jean Irma_Jean
    posted a quote
    August 7, 2012 12:48am UTC
    Fact About Emma (Me) #1
    I shaved my head when I was 10 to donate all of my hair to Locks of Love when my best friend, Alexis, was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma (Childhood bone cancer)
    I feel like my WittyFamily should get to know me.
    Should I do more? 10 faves for more

  16. Irma_Jean Irma_Jean
    posted a quote
    July 31, 2012 9:03pm UTC
    Just because the
    P A S T
    taps you on the
    S H O U L D E R S,
    doesn't mean you have to
    L O O K B A C K

  17. Irma_Jean Irma_Jean
    posted a quote
    July 28, 2012 10:05pm UTC
    The 145 people (give or take) that attacked LandonIsWitty's quote about 13 being the youngest age allowed were obviously not true Wittians, because if you were a true Wittian, you would accept his opinion because he is a part of our witty family, and you would know the age limit because you've been to the blog and read it there! I care about Steve and his rules, and I care about my witty family, if you can't respect those 2 things, you shouldn't be here and if you're going to stay no matter what, don't argue with the rules.
    This is not meant to offend any one, it is meant to be a wake up call, and it's just my opinion. You're entitled to your opinion, but itmay be wrong..
    Note: I do not personally know LandonIsWitty, but I do know that he is right..

  18. Irma_Jean Irma_Jean
    posted a quote
    July 28, 2012 5:38pm UTC
    I lost my teddy bear.
    Will you sleep with me?

  19. Irma_Jean Irma_Jean
    posted a quote
    July 28, 2012 2:33am UTC
    When I first met you, I honestly had
    that you would mean this much to me

  20. Irma_Jean Irma_Jean
    posted a quote
    July 28, 2012 2:24am UTC
    I hate two-faced people.
    I never know which face
    to SLAP first!


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