then you'll have the nerve to ask me why i'm feeling this way. your heart might beat another ten million times before i get the chance to say, it's because i needed you. i've always needed you more than you needed me. but you were only there when you had no where else to be. at times you tried to make it better, but it was always like that. you did so well when it didn't matter. now i'm the sensitive one wiping tears hurriedly before you enter the room. now i'm the difficult one who left too early when everything was good.
It helps to remember that you have felt similar feelings before. Each time you made it out alive- regardless of how unprepared or stupid you may have felt. You don't get to enjoy every single moment of your life. There is dread, anxiety and regret. That is life. As much as it is good, it is bad. Just overcome. Like you've always done.
"Newday,new wishes" It's a new day, The sun rises up, The clouds are stillthere, Its smiles at me, Then i say my morning prayers, I say to my self its, New day,time for new wishes.I bless my day,Success is mine Off to prepare for school. New Day,new wishes...
starting a new job, then having a meeting for a new uni placement, then an appointment with a therapist for the first time. all scary but i am showing up for myself. i am proud of myself for getting this far. i am proud of myself for putting myself in this situation. i like taking care of myself this way.
these days i get more tired but that's okay; i'll keep it simple. i'll get enough sleep, eat a meal, take my vitamins. i'LL WORK HARD AND SWEAT IT OUT. i'm so tired. but i'm still GOING TO BE okAY.
i wasn't assertive & outspoken, i wasn't popular & outgoing, but i am not sorry. i wasn't sick enough, not loud enough. your love was difficult to attain. for giving up...for slipping away, i'm not sorry.
how are these strangers being so nice to me? they apologise when they realise they've been mean. how odd it feels to be comforted how my eyes sting when i'm being consoled. my feelings were valid, my feelings were valid. i can trust myself. it was a bad encounter. i wasn't being too sensitive, it was a bad encounter. God give me strength and more love, please.