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Ifeelsoalone

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Member Since: 20 Apr 2011 09:42pm

Last Seen: 20 Jun 2012 10:40pm

user id: 167045

328 Quotes
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  1. Ifeelsoalone Ifeelsoalone
    posted a quote
    August 13, 2011 4:37pm UTC
    Loving someone that doesn't love you
    is like reaching for a star.
    You know you'll never reach it
    but you just got to keep trying.

  2. Ifeelsoalone Ifeelsoalone
    posted a quote
    August 13, 2011 1:52pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  3. Ifeelsoalone Ifeelsoalone
    posted a quote
    July 31, 2011 5:59pm UTC
    to my readers:
    I will not be writing another sequel or story cause I'm taking a break from the internet starting tomorrow.
    I'm sorry.
    Thank you all though, you guys are amazing.
    You don't know how much each comment means to me.

  4. Ifeelsoalone Ifeelsoalone
    posted a quote
    July 31, 2011 5:40pm UTC
    Marry Me
    Sequel to Want Me
    Chapter 19
    Afterward
    *Blane's Point Of View*
    After Heidi's death I broke the news to her family. It was hard to tell grandma and Zack. Carter and I went home when he was three weeks old. We stayed with Alex until then.
    Hayden was happy when she saw Carter. Granted, she was only almost 2. But I was happy about her response to her brother.
    Heidi's funeral was held at a nearby cemetery in Texas. Everyone attended, including her mother. She shed some tears, but then left immediately following the burial.
    Two weeks after Heidi's death, Zack lost his battle with liver cancer. He was buried next to her.
    Today, 3 years later, Hayden, Carter and I live in a small, two bedroom apartment.
    With Hayden being 5 and Carter only 3, life is hectic. I'm now 22, and going to college. Grandma watches them when I'm in class, and when I work at the music store on Main St.
    I still keep in touch with Alex. He has a fancy new job and a fiance'. They are due to get married in November, and I have been invited to the wedding. Alex sends money every two months. I told him not to, but he still does. It helps out with the bills and stuff for Hayden and Carter.
    Heidi's dad comes and visit every two or three months. He spends three or four days up here. He usually takes the kids to the park, or zoo when I have to work or I'm at school. It gives Grandma a break.
    I haven't seen anyone since Heidi's death 3 years ago. I've been trying to go to college and get a degree so I can have a good job. I've been fully committed to my kids lives.
    I keep a picture of Heidi next to my bed, and one of us at our wedding next to the couch. Hayden says goodnight to the picture before bed every night. Carter doesn't know much about his mom, but I talk about her every night. I'm hoping he will grow to know and love her like I do.
    ~THE END~

  5. Ifeelsoalone Ifeelsoalone
    posted a quote
    July 31, 2011 5:36pm UTC
    Marry Me
    Sequel to Want Me
    Chapter 18
    *Blane's Point Of View*
    "Blane Sanders." A tall man in in a white coat called. Heidi's doctor. I jumped to my feet.
    "That's me." I said as he walked down the empty hall to where Alex and I now stood. Hope filled my heart. She was alive.
    "You're Heid's husband?" He asked, looking down at his chart, then back at me.
    "Yes, yes I am. Is she alive?" The expression on his face almost knocked me down. I knew what he was going to say next, and I didn't want to hear it.
    "No." I began to shout. "No! You didn't try hard enough! She has to be alive!" Tears streamed down my face in agony. How could this be? How could Heidi be dead?
    "I'm sorry. She went into shock after the baby was being choked by its umbilical cord. That's what caused the pain. That also caused her to go into shock, which lead to her death. I'm sorry."
    I shook my head. "No! No, you're lying! Please tell me you're lying!"
    "Mr. Sanders, Heidi is dead." I dropped to my knees. Pain trailed throughout my body like lightning. Heidi was dead. My wife, my lover, my best friend was gone.
    "But your son did live. Would you like to see him?" Those words brought me back to reality. My son?
    I looked up at the doctor. "It's-it's a boy?" I stumbled over my words.
    "Yes. Follow me." I stood up and followed the doctor down the hall to an empty room. There, in a small see-through box like thing, laid my son.
    I began to cry even more. I didn't know if it was because I was happy the baby survived, or if I was angry that he killed my wife.
    I walked over to my son and looked down at him. He had his eyes closed, and was sound asleep. I gently stroked his hand.
    "Hey little guy. I'm your daddy." Saying those words filled me with joy. I had a son. But I immediately felt pain. This was one moment I would never be able to share with Heidi. She never got to see how wonderful he was.
    "It's okay." Alex said, patting my back. "Everything is going to be okay."
    "How can you say that? She's dead! Heidi is dead! Carter is never going to see his mom, and Hayden will only have memories." I replied.
    "What did you call him?" Alex looked at me, puzzled.
    "I-I guess I called him Carter." I looked down at my son. "Carter Alex Sanders."
    "Carter Alex Sanders?"
    "Yeah. Carter because Heidi was going to name our first son that, but settled for Blane Jr. instead. And Alex because I will always remember the guy who helped me through it all." Alex smiled and looked down at Carter.
    "Blane." I heard a faint whisper call my name. I looked up.
    "Hey, I'll give you a minute alone." Trey said, stepping out of the room.
    "Blane." The voice said again, this time a little louder.
    I looked around, and there, standing by the window was Heidi. The problem was, it wasn't her. It was just her ghost or something. I read about this thing happening in books, and in movies. But I didn't imagine it could happen to me.
    "Heidi!" I said. Tears of joy and sadness falling from my eyes.
    "Take good care of Carter and Hayden. Tell them how much I love them. And I want you to remember something, I love you. I will always love you. I will be here, in your heart. I have to go now. I'll be seeing you again. Just not soon." She smiled and then vanished.
    I broke down once more and cried and cried. She was gone. Gone forever. The last words I had said to here were I love you. And I meant them with all my heart.

  6. Ifeelsoalone Ifeelsoalone
    posted a quote
    July 31, 2011 5:29pm UTC
    Marry Me
    Sequel to Want Me
    Chapter 17
    *Blane's Point Of View*
    "Is she going to be okay? What's happening to her?!" I shouted as the EMT began to drive faster.
    "Sir, calm down. You have to remain calm so I can help her." The man replied. But I couldn't stay calm. I couldn't relax and let him help her; save her. Heidi was dying, right in front of my eyes. And so was our baby. I needed to scream, I needed to cry. I needed Heidi.
    "Please... please. You have to save her." I said, breaking down and crying. The only other time Heidi had been in danger was almost two years ago. That's when Trevor had injured her and me. That's when he killed Blane Jr.
    But when Heidi was hurt, I wasn't there. I was in another state of mind. Unable to hear or to think. Unable to see or to speak.
    But this time I could see, speak, hear and think. And right in front of my eyes, my beautiful wife, my best friend, my only love, was dying.
    "Drive faster!" I shouted. "We have to make it there. She has to live."
    "Sir, we are almost there. The hospital is right up the road." The woman replied. I leaned my head against the metal siding and closed my eyes. I silently sobbed.
    The ambulance came to a stop and the woman jumped out of the car. She quickly opened up the back of the ambulance, and they rushed Heidi into the emergency room.
    "Come on." Alex said, appearing at the back of the ambulance. I jumped out of the back and we ran into the hospital.
    "Where did they take her?" I asked him, knowing he wouldn't have an answer.
    "I don't know. Probably to an operating room. Come on, there are some chairs. Lets sit down and wait." He replied, walking over to a row of chairs that lined the hallway.
    "I can't wait! My wife, she's... she's ...dying!" I shouted the last words in agonizing pain. Sure, it was easy to say them in my head, because they could be wrong. But saying them out loud made them all too real.
    I fell to the ground and buried my face in my hands. She can't. She can't ever, ever die on me.
    Alex slowly walked over to me and placed on hand on my shoulder.
    "I know what you're going through." He whispered, kneeling down beside me.
    "Know you don't! You can not possibly know how it feels to have your wife and child dying right in front of your eyes!" I spit back at him.
    "No, I don't. But I do know what its like to lose the love of your life." His voice was calm, but I could hear the pain behind it. I looked up at him, immediately sorry for my harsh words.
    "Kristi and I were so in love. We were even engaged. We had been inseparable for two years before I proposed. We were on our way to her parents house to tell them about my proposal. A drunk driver ran the red light." He stopped, tears forming in his eyes. "I remember waking up in the hospital, asking for her. The nurse said that she was killed immediately by the impact. She hit her head pretty hard on the windshield. I cried myself to sleep every night. I still do, and that was a year ago."
    I felt remorse for him. I couldn't imagine what it would be like if I lost Heidi. I didn't want to.
    "I'm so sorry." I mumbled.
    He shook his head and stood up. He helped me up and we walked over and sat down in the chairs that lined the empty hall.
    Heidi was perfect. The love of my life and the only person in the world that could ever make me smile. I loved her more than anything in this cold, shallow world. But it was neither cold nor shallow when I was with her.
    That's why when the doctor walked out of the room and called my name, i cried. How could I possibly be happy, when I felt so horrible and broken inside?

  7. Ifeelsoalone Ifeelsoalone
    posted a quote
    July 31, 2011 5:22pm UTC
    Marry Me
    Sequel to Want Me
    Chapter 16
    "The ambulance is on its way." Alex said, running over to us. I was still in a lot of pain. Blane was knelt down beside me, his arm around me.
    "It's going to be okay." He reassured me. "Everything is going to be fine."
    I looked up at him. How could he be sure? How could he know that the baby was going to be fine, that I was going to be fine?
    "How do you know?" I mumbled. He looked down, then back at me.
    "Because it has to be. Because it will be." Before he looked away, I saw a single tear fall from his eyes.
    Alex knelt down on the other side of me. He looked into my eyes.
    "Hey, you're going to be fine." He said, then looked at Blane. "She's going to be fine." The way he looked at Blane what comforting. He was trying to assure him that I would be here tomorrow. That our baby would be fine, inside me. But for some reason, I couldn't believe him.
    I heard the sirens of the ambulance as they approached the beach.
    "OW. AHH!" I screamed as pain shot throughout me.
    "Heidi." Blane said, throwing his arms around me. I could hear his sobs as he laid his head against my shoulder.
    "Here's the ambulance." Alex said, helping Blane up. A paramedic rushed over to me. They took my blood pressure and checked my heart rate. Another man rushed over with a stretcher. They gently picked me up and placed me on it.
    "You ride with her. I'll get my car and meet you there." I heard Alex say.
    "Hey man, thanks." Blane said.
    "No problem. You need someone." Blane ran over to the ambulance and climbed in the back. He sat on a small metal bench next to me and grabbed my hand.
    "I'm sorry." He mumbled through his tears.
    "I am too." I replied.
    "I was never going to go out with Katie and Amber. I just said that to make you mad. I was mad, and wanted you to be too."
    "Blane, I already was."
    "I love you." He said, kissing my hand.
    "I love you too." I replied before a wave of pain sucked me under. I couldn't see anything. Everything went black, and dark. My body was shaking. All I could hear was the panic cry of Blane calling for the paramedic.
    "What's happening?" He shouted.
    "She's going into shock." The male paramedic replied.
    "Heidi. Heidi, can you hear me?" The man asked. Yes, I wanted to scream, I can hear you! But I couldn't make my mouth move, couldn't force the words out.
    "Oh god." Blane cried. "Save her!" He screamed.
    "Sir, we are trying."
    "Try harder! She's... she's all I have."
    "We are sir. We will do our best to save her and the baby."
    "No. Save her before the baby. We already have a daughter. We can have more kids. But I need her." He was crying heavy now.
    I wanted so bad to wake up from this dark place. To comfort Blane and tell him I was okay. But I couldn't. No matter how hard I tried, the darkness and pain kept me under, drowning me.
    Would I ever see Blane's face again?

  8. Ifeelsoalone Ifeelsoalone
    posted a quote
    July 31, 2011 5:18pm UTC
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  9. Ifeelsoalone Ifeelsoalone
    posted a quote
    July 31, 2011 5:13pm UTC
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  10. Ifeelsoalone Ifeelsoalone
    posted a quote
    July 31, 2011 5:02pm UTC
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  11. Ifeelsoalone Ifeelsoalone
    posted a quote
    July 31, 2011 4:58pm UTC
    Marry Me
    Sequel to Want Me
    Chapter 14 part 1
    "You can stay in Blane and I's room until we get back next week." I told Zack as I grabbed my bags and headed downstairs.
    "Heidi, thanks so much." He replied.
    "Babe, come on. We are gonna miss the plane!" Blane hurried me. I handed my bags to Blane and turned around. I looked at Hayden who was in Zack's arms. She had taken a liking to him since yesterday at the wedding. They were inseparable.
    "Now Hayden, you be a good girl and do what grandma and uncle Zack tell you, okay?" She just stared at me. She looked over at Blane and smiled.
    "Daddy." She mumbled. Blane walked over to her and kissed her lightly on the forehead.
    "It's okay baby. We will be back before you know it. Uncle Zack and grandma will take good care of you." She smiled and laid her head on Zack's shoulder.
    "The number for her doctor is on the fridge, don't hesitate to call us. All her bottles are in the cabinet. If she cries, then just-"
    "Heidi, I know what to do. I live here too, you know." Grandma cut me off.
    "Right." I smiled. "Well we better get going. See you soon." I kissed Hayden on the forehead, gave Zack and grandma a hug, then we were on our way.
    "They are gonna be fine." Blane said as we boarded the plane.
    "I know. Zack and grandma know what to do." I replied. We took our seats and buckled up. Blane took my hand.
    "Then what's bothering you?" He asked. I looked down at my stomach. I was almost three months pregnant, and showing. Granted, I wasn't huge yet, but you could tell I was pregnant.
    "Ahh," He said, realizing what was bothering me. "Heidi, there is nothing to be ashamed about that you're pregnant. It's a beautiful thing." He smiled and it made me feel a little better.
    "Blane, on your honeymoon you're supposed to have fun. You know, stay up all night, sleep half the day. But I'm pregnant." I replied, looking up at him.
    "Hey, we did it with Hayden." He smiled playfully and kissed me.
    "Yeah, right after I found out I was pregnant. And when I was still skinny!" I looked out the window as the pilot announced our take off.
    "Heidi, I don't care what size you are." Blane said, placing his hand under my chin, forcing me to look at him. "I fell in love with you when you were four months pregnant. You were definitely showing then." He chuckled and I scolded him. He cleared his throat. "So I don't care how big you get. You will always be Heidi to me. The one I fell in love with and the one who gave me a beautiful daughter."
    I had to admit, he knew how to give a pep talk. I smiled and he kissed me once more.
    The plane ride to Panama City Beach wasn't that long. It only took about three hours. Blane and I watched a movie that they were showing called "The Notebook." I cried through half of the movie.
    Once we finally landed, we went to find our luggage.
    "Here's your bag!" Blane called to me.
    "I found yours too!" I called back, walking over to him. We traded bags and then made our way to the exit of the airport.
    "Did you call a cab to the hotel?" I asked Blane.
    "I was supposed to do that?" He had a guilty look on his face.
    "Yes!" I replied. I shook my head and went up to the front desk.
    "Hi. Could you call a cab for us?" I asked the women. She was pretty. She had light brown hair that went passed her shoulders. She was wearing a blue uniform and had a thick, blue headband in her hair. She looked up from her computer and smiled when she saw Blane.
    "Blane Sanders?" She asked, shocked.

  12. Ifeelsoalone Ifeelsoalone
    posted a quote
    July 31, 2011 4:47pm UTC
    Marry Me
    Sequel to Want Me
    Chapter 13
    We stood there for a moment, smiling at one another. Zack leaned down and gently kissed me one last time.
    "Zack, I love you." I said, looking up at him, my smile vanishing. "I always have, and always will. But I'm in love with Blane." His smile instantly faded, and he looked down at the ground. "Zack, you're my very best friend, and he is the love of my life. Please, please don't make me choose, because it will always be him." I said the last sentence with a hint of pain. I didn't want to lose Zack, but I couldn't give up Blane.
    "Heidi, I'm not going to make you choose." He said, looking up at me. "I'm always going to be here for you, no matter what your decision is." I threw my arms around him.
    "I will always love you and remember you, even when you're... gone." I said the last word in a whisper, my head resting on his shoulder.
    "Once you're in someone's heart, there is no getting out. Heidi, you are in my heart." He whispered. I pulled away and looked at him.
    "And you will forever be in mine." A single tear fell from my eyes.
    "Come on, they must be wondering where you are." Zack and I linked arms and walked up the stone path to the front door.
    Everyone was laughing and talking. Some were even dancing along to the music the DJ had going. As soon as we walked through the door, Blane ran over to us.
    "Heidi, are you okay? I've been wondering where you were." He said in a worried tone. He noticed that my eyes were red and puffy from crying. "Are you okay? Why were you crying?"
    I shook my head as the tears ran down my face. Blane looked at Zack, anger in his eyes.
    "You!" He began to shout. "I knew you were no good for her! You should have never came!" The music stopped, the talking stopped, everyone stared at the scene that was breaking out.
    "Blane, stop!" I shouted. He ignored me. He made a fist with his hand and got ready to strike Zack.
    "Stop it!" I shouted once more, standing in between them.
    "Heidi, move." Blane ordered in a stern voice.
    "No. Zack didn't do anything! It's not his fault!" His hand fell to his side, I could still see the anger burning in his eyes.
    "Then. Why. Were. You. Crying?" He said, separating the words as if to calm down.
    I paused before answering. "Zack has liver cancer. He only has a month to live." I whispered, the tears falling heavy. They were like a river of pain, sadness, and realization.
    "Oh my god." Blane whispered, finally realizing the extent of my pain. He wrapped his arms around me.
    "I'm sorry." He said to Zack over my shoulder.
    "It's ok." Zack replied.
    Death is something that just happens. It catches you by surprise. It waits for no one. Death doesn't care about your age, it doesn't care whether you are happy. Death doesn't save the good ones, and take the bad people from the world. It takes who it wants, and it had its grip on my best friend.
    I hadn't seen Zack in 5 long years. We used to have sleep-overs and watch cheesy movies. We would stay up talking about anything and everything. I had one month to make up for 5 years, and that wasn't long enough. I wanted my best friend forever

  13. Ifeelsoalone Ifeelsoalone
    posted a quote
    July 31, 2011 4:43pm UTC
    Marry Me
    Sequel to Want Me
    Chapter 12
    I just stood there, standing as people cheered and clapped with fake smiles on their faces. Blane looked at me and smiled.
    "I guess everyone is happy." He commented in a whisper.
    I shook my head. "Not everyone." I let go of his hand and headed out the door to find Zack.
    He was sitting on the front porch, his head buried in his hands.
    "Go away, I'm fine." He mumbled, not looking up at me. I stood there, not moving, waiting for him to look up at me. He didn't, so I spoke.
    "Zack, what's wrong? Why did you run out?" I asked, moving to stand in front of him.
    "Nothing is wrong. I just needed fresh air." He said, still not lifting his head. He was making me angry. Something was up, and he wasn't telling me the truth.
    "Zack, I know something is wrong. You have been my best friend for years, I know you." I said in a stern voice. He finally looked at me, tears filling up in his eyes.
    "I love you, Heidi" He said. I didn't answer. I just stood there, not believing my ears. "I love you way more than a friend should." He stood up.
    "But you said-"
    "I know what I said. It was a lie. I didn't want you to marry Blane. I came here in hopes of getting you back. Not just as a friend, but more." I still didn't speak as the tears in his eyes began to empty down his face.
    "Zack, I-I love Blane." I whispered. He shook his head.
    "I know. Heidi, I'm not trying to take you away from him. I'm just telling you how I feel inside." I couldn't move. I just stood there, staring into his cold, sad eyes as he explained about the pain that was killing him inside.
    "If I can't be anymore, then I at least want to be your friend. But I can't be that forever." He looked down at his feet.
    "What do you mean you can't be that forever?" I asked in a voice barely above a whisper. He looked up at me, crying hard now.
    "I have cancer." Zack whispered. "Liver cancer. The doctors gave me a month to live." I didn't realize I was crying until a tear fell from my check onto my kneck, running down.
    Zack was dying. My best friend, my only friend since 7th grade, was dying. The pain I felt inside was growing. It felt as if Blane had left me all over again. I threw myself at Zack and he wrapped his arms around me.
    "You can't leave." I said as my tears soaked his suit jacket. "I-I love you." I couldn't believe what I had just said. I had loved Zack, every since we met. I had always wished he loved me, and he did, now.
    He pulled away from the hug to look at me. "What?"
    "Zack, I love you. I have loved you since we met. I had always wished you would love me back, and now you do." He was just as surprised by my words as I was.
    As if it couldn't get anymore weird, he placed his hands on either side of my face and kissed me softly.
    This felt way different from kissing Blane. It felt.. right. Sure, kissing Blane felt right also. But kissing Zack felt like it was meant to be.
    I intertwined my hands in his hair, pulling him closer. The kiss lasted a few seconds longer.
    "I'm sorry." He said.
    "Don't be. Now I know." I whispered. At that moment, I knew what the future held for me.

  14. Ifeelsoalone Ifeelsoalone
    posted a quote
    July 31, 2011 4:38pm UTC
    Marry Me
    Sequel to Want Me
    Chapter 11
    I didn't speak. I just stared at Zack. I couldn't believe his words. What did he mean?
    "Zack, I-I'm in love with Blane." I said, still shocked at what he was confessing.
    He chuckled. I looked at him with puzzled eyes.
    "Why are you laughing?" I asked.
    "Heidi, I'm not in love with you." He replied. "I mean, I love you, as a best friend."
    "Then what do you mean by you want me to be happy with you?"
    He turned and took my hand, looking into my eyes. I looked back at him.
    "I mean, I'm jealous of Blane. He gets to have you all to himself. I feel like he's stealing my best friend from me." I finally understood his words. He wasn't in love with me. He just wanted me to stay that Heidi he met in 7th grade. The one he spent every waking moment with. The one who was totally his.
    "Zack, I'm always going to be your best friend. Blane cant take me away from you. Zack, I will always love you, no matter what happens." He smiled. I hugged him tightly.
    "Come on, lets go down stairs. They must be wondering where we are." He smiled and took my hand as we walked down the stairs.
    "There she is." My dad said to Blane, who had his back turned towards me. He turned around and a smile burned on his lips.
    "I've been looking for you." He said, taking me in his arms. I kissed him gently.
    "Come on, I think it's time to eat." Blane led me to our table and we both sat down. Dad, grandma and Hayden sat down at the table next to us. Everyone else took their seat.
    "Um, I'd like to make a toast." Zack said, standing up with a glass in his hand. I smiled. Blane took my hand, and everyone waited for him to continue.
    "Heidi and I first met in 7th grade. She was my very best friend. We were inseparable. I remember one time she came to me crying when Jake Toll dumped her. Haha, I beat him up." Everyone began to laugh. "But then in 10th grade, I moved away. That was the last time I saw her, aside from today. I came here, hoping she was the same Heidi she was back then. I was hurt when I saw how she looked at Blane. I know my Heidi, and I could tell she was in love. That hit a soft spot in my heart. I felt like Blane was taking her from me. Like he was taking my very best friend. But seeing them two together, I can't be but happy for them. Blane loves her, and she loves him. Heidi will always be my very best friend, and he will always be the love of her life."
    I began to cry. Zack's toast had been so real, and so meaningful. I loved him with all my heart, and that would never change. Everyone clapped as he sat down.
    "Should we tell them?" Blane whispered in my ear. I looked at him. Was he really ready for that kind of reaction?
    "Are you sure?" I asked.
    "This is the happiest day of my life, Heidi, and it would make it even better if everyone knew." He replied.
    "Ok." I nodded. We both stood up, and everyone turned to face me.
    "We have something to say." Blane said. I squeezed his hand tight. I was afraid about what everyone would think. He paused for a moment before he continued.
    "Heidi is pregnant." A lot of things happened at that moment. People, including Sarah and grandma, clapped and cheered. Dad's face went blank. Zack left the room.
    I didn't know what to say or do. I just stood there beside Blane. I wanted to run after Zack. I wanted to comfort my father. I wanted to be happy with everyone else. But instead, I stood there, frozen in place.

  15. Ifeelsoalone Ifeelsoalone
    posted a quote
    July 31, 2011 4:33pm UTC
    Marry Me
    Sequel to Want Me
    Chapter 10
    Blane pulled away from the kiss and looked at me with a smile.
    "Shall we, Mrs. Sanders?" He asked, grabbing my hand. I smiled. We walked down the isle and out the doors. Everyone was already there, waiting for us. They threw pieces of rice and shouted as we ran to the car.
    Blane got in the drivers seat and I tried to fit my dress in the passenger seat. I looked over at dad who was holding Hayden. She smiled at me and I waved to her.
    Blane started the car and we waved as we drove off. On the back of the car read Just Married with hearts all around it.
    I turned and looked at Blane. "This is it." I said, softly. "We're married." He looked over at me and smiled.
    "I've waited a long time to make you my wife." He whispered. He took my hand and his eyes returned to the road.
    A single tear fell from my watered eyes. I was happy. I hadn't felt this happy since Hayden was born.
    We drove down the road in silence, admiring each others company. Blane finally pulled into grandma's drive way, followed by a parade of cars that parked along the road. This was where the reception was to be held.
    I slowly got out of the car, not wanting to rip my dress. Blane took my hand and we walked inside.
    Once again, I was surprised. The whole house was decorated. There were red and white roses that flowed down the stair case in a big bouquet. A buffet of food lined the counter with a bouquet of flowers on each end. The couch and tables were pushed out of the way in the living room, which gave us a lot more room.
    I looked at Blane and smiled. "Your idea again?" I asked.
    "Guilty." He smiled. He leaned down and kissed me gently. Suddenly, all the guests began to pile into grandma's house, smiling and laughing, all filled with cheer.
    I looked around. Everyone was here, but there was no sight of Zack anywhere.
    "I'll be back." I told Blane as I walked away in search for Zack. I pushed passed friends and family members, looking for my very best friend. I couldn't find him at all.
    I was stopped by a numerous amount of people, congratulating me and welcoming me to the family. Only Sarah had welcomed me, for she was the only one from Blane's side of the family that was here. My mom and his dad were probably off in Vegas somewhere partying.
    "Have you seen Zack?" I asked Whitney.
    "No, I haven't." She replied with an apologetic expression.
    "I saw him go up stairs." Jessica said. I hurried for the stairs. What would Zack be doing up there? The party was down stairs.
    I looked in Hayden's room then the bathroom. He wasn't in either of those places. I then looked in Blane and I's room. There I found Zack sitting on the bed.
    "I have been looking all over for you." I said, sitting down next to him.
    "Sorry, I needed to get away." He replied.
    "Away from what?" He looked up at me, his eyes sad.
    "Away from this whole wedding thing." He whispered. "Heidi, you're my best friend, and I want you to be happy. But I want you to be happy with me."

  16. Ifeelsoalone Ifeelsoalone
    posted a quote
    July 30, 2011 4:35pm UTC
    Marry Me
    Sequel to Want Me
    Chapter 9 part 2
    "Zack!" I shouted, handing Hayden to Blane. I ran over and jumped into his arms.
    Zack had been my best friend since second grade. We had lived by each other. We were inseparable. That is, until 7th when Zack moved to Indiana. We never saw each other again. I didn't even know how he found me. Or knew I was getting married.
    "Haha, I missed you too." He replied, hugging me tight.
    I began to cry. I hadn't seen Zack in almost 5 years. He had been my best friend until I met Whitney and Jessica. He was all I had. He was my everything before Blane.
    "Zack," My words were muted because of the falling tears. "I've missed you so much." I said, pulling away to wipe my eyes.
    "I've missed you too, Heidi." He said, his eyes filling with tears. Hayden began to cry, and that brought me back to the present.
    "Zack, this is Blane." I said, waving my hand in Blane's direction. "Blane, this is Zack. He was my best friend since second grade. Then he moved our 7th grade year." Zack stuck out his hand and Blane shook it.
    "Nice to meet you." Blane said with a smile.
    "You too man." Zack replied. "And who is this little girl? I didn't know your mother had another child." I winced at his mention of my mother. It made me angry when I though about her.
    "No, Zack. This is Hayden, my daughter." I replied. He looked at me with shocked eyes.
    "Jeez Heidi! What am I going to do with you!" He said, smiling. I smiled back. I noticed a clock hanging above the altar. It read ten fifteen.
    "Shoot! I have to get ready. Talk to you later Zack!" I kissed him on the cheek and then ran to the preacher's office, where I would be getting ready.
    "Where have you been?" Whitney asked as I ran into the room.
    "Zack is here!" I shouted with a huge smile. They began to scream. Whitney and Jessica had gone to school with Zack and I. We were all friends, but Zack had been my best friend.
    "How did he find you?" Jessica asked.
    "I don't know! But this is going to be the best wedding ever!"
    "Okay girls, enough. Now Heidi, lets get you ready." Grandma ordered. I sat down in a metal fold up chair and Whitney began to do my make up. Jessica took the curlers out of my hair, and put it up.
    By the time I was ready, it was noon. I looked in the mirror. Jessica, grandma and Whitney had already taken their places.
    "You look beautiful." I turned around. Zack was standing in the doorway, staring back at me. I smiled as he walked over to me.
    "I'm so happy you're here." I said.
    "Me too."
    "So, how did you find me?" I asked. This was a question that had been on my mind since I seen him this morning.
    "Your mother called me. She had looked me up some how, and said you would love to have me at your wedding." I looked down.
    "Oh." Was all I said.
    "Heidi, what's wrong?"
    "My mom and I aren't speaking right now." I replied, trying to hold back tears, for fear it would ruin my make-up.
    "And why not?"
    "Look, I don't want to talk about it." I said, walking towards the door. "Not on my wedding day."
    "Okay." Zack replied, handing me my flowers. We walked out of the room together.
    "Ready?" My dad asked, standing by the door. We slowly approached him.
    "Yes!" I nearly shouted with excitement. Zack and dad chuckled. He intertwined our arms and we looked at the door. Zack opened the doors, and we entered the room.
    Everyone stared as I made my way down the isle. There were rose petals on the floor from where Maddison-my baby cousin-had throw them from her basket.
    I had my eyes set on Blane. His smile grew wider as I came closer. Dad kissed me and then placed my hand into Blane's.
    We walked up the red carpeted stairs to where the preacher stood.
    "If anyone thinks that these two shall not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace." The preacher announced. Everyone was silent. I looked at Zack who sat in the front row. He smiled, and so did I.
    "Blane, do you take Heidi to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health. Through richer or for poor."
    "I do." Blane replied, smiling at me. He slipped the beautiful ring onto my finger.
    "Heidi, do you take Blane to be your lawfully wedded husband. To have and to hold, in sickness and in health. For richer or for poor."
    I hadn't noticed that I was crying until I tried to speak. The words came out mumbled. I cleared my voice and tried again.
    "I do." I said. I slipped the ring onto Blane's cold finger.
    "You may now kiss the bride." Blane place his hands on either side of my face and kissed me gently.
    This is it! We are married! I shouted in my head. June 15th, the day I became Heidi Sanders. The day Blane and I became a real family. My wedding day.

  17. Ifeelsoalone Ifeelsoalone
    posted a quote
    July 30, 2011 4:27pm UTC
    Marry Me
    Sequel to Want Me
    Chapter 9 part 1
    "Blane! We are leaving, now!" I shouted in an aggravated voice.
    "I'm coming!" He shouted back. He came out of Hayden's room with her and a bag full of diapers and sippy cups.
    I watched from the bottom of the stairs as he tried to not to drop anything as he walked down to me.
    "We are going to be late if we don't hurry." I said, walking towards the door. My hair was in curlers and i was wearing a t-shirt and pajama bottoms. We were on our way to the church to get ready. Today was June 15, my wedding day.
    "Heidi, calm down. We are gonna make it in time." Blane said, following me to the door.
    "Everybody has already left!" I called over my shoulder. I reached for the door knob, and felt Blane's soft hand on my shoulder. He spun me around.
    "Breathe." He ordered. "It's going to be okay." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. When I opened my eyes, Blane's smiling face was staring back at me. He kissed me lightly on the lips.
    "Now lets go get married." I smiled and took his hand as we walked out to the car. He put Hayden in her car seat and we were on our way to the church.
    Whitney, Jessica and dad had all gone with grandma to the church. They brought my dress and Blane's tux with them. The wedding was at noon, and it was now ten. Only two hours until I do.
    Blane pulled into the parking lot and I jumped out of the car.
    "Heidi." He said, stepping slowly out of the car. "We have two hours. You don't have to rush." What was he saying?! Two hours was a lot closer than he thought!
    "Ok ok." I said. I took Hayden out of her car seat and flung her bag over my shoulder. We walked through the doors of the church.
    My eyes popped as I looked around. It was obvious that they had done some decorating before I got here.
    The pews had bright red flowers at the end, making the isle pop. There were red and white flowers covering the door where I would be entering. Red roses laid on the steps to where I would be walking up to say my vows. It was beautiful.
    "You like it?" Blane asked, taking in my expression. I looked at him, surprised.
    "You did this?" I asked.
    "Well, I came up with the design. Whitney and Jessica decorated." A huge smile spread across my face. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him forcefully, but with passion.
    "Hey you two. Save that for after the wedding." I heard a familiar voice say behind me. I quickly turned around, unable to believe if it was who I thought it was.
    There stood a smiling face that I would recognize anywhere.

  18. Ifeelsoalone Ifeelsoalone
    posted a quote
    July 30, 2011 3:53pm UTC
    Marry Me
    Sequel to Want Me
    Chapter 8 part 2
    "Sarah." He muttered. I followed his eyes.
    There, standing by the steps of the altar was Sarah, Blane's sister.
    She smiled, and he ran to her. He hugged her tightly.
    "Sarah!" He shouted. "I didn't think you would come!"
    "And what, miss my little brother's wedding? Never." She replied with a beautiful smile. She had long brown hair and beautiful brown eyes. She resembled Blane in a way. I could see the sparkle in her eyes, the same one that I noticed often in Blane's.
    "So, who's the lucky girl?" She asked, looking around. Blane smiled and ran back to me, grabbing my hand. He led me to Sarah.
    "Sarah, this is Heidi." He said, admiring me.
    "Nice to meet you." I said. She chuckled.
    "Nice to meet you too." She noticed Hayden in my arms. "Who is this?"
    I looked at Blane, wondering why he hadn't mentioned Hayden to her.
    "This is Hayden. Blane and I's daughter." I replied, looking over her face carefully. She looked at Blane.
    "How could you not tell me I had a niece?" She asked in an abrupt tone.
    "Well, it never came up. We never talked long enough." He replied. She playfully hit him on the arm and then looked back at Hayden.
    "Do you mind?" She asked, holding her arms out. I handed Hayden to her. "She looks quite a bit like you." She said, looking up at Blane.
    He smiled and nodded. That remark reminded me of the week that Blane had left me. How I couldn't hold Hayden, for her great deal of resemblance to Blane.
    "But she looks like you too, Heidi." She said, noticing my expression. I smiled, trying to hide the feeling of pain the memory brought me.
    "Are you ready to get started?" The preacher asked, coming up behind me.
    "Oh, yes." I replied. Sarah sat down in the front row next to a man with brown hair. He couldn't be but 25. That must be her husband that she had spoke of to Blane.
    I smiled at Blane and then walked to the back of the room. The brides maids and grooms took their places. Dad came and stood next to me. He handed me a bouquet of fake roses and locked arms with me.
    He looked at me. "Ready?" He asked.
    I nodded. "Yes." I replied. We began to walk down the aisle. All of the grooms and brides maids watched as we gracefully made our way to the altar. Sarah, her husband, and grandma were the only guests. Everyone else was part of the wedding.
    We finally made our way to Blane. Dad kissed me and placed my hand in Blane's. He walked me up the stairs and we faced each other.
    "Okay. Now I will say, if anyone thinks that these two shall not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace." The pastor said to us. We both nodded.
    "The rings." He said, looking at Whitney and Jacob. They handed him the rings, and he handed them to us.
    "Blane, do you take Heidi to be your lawfully wedded wife. To have and to hold. Through sickness and in health."
    Blane smiled. "I do." He said, sliding the ring onto my finger.
    "Heidi, do you take Blane to be your lawfully wedded husband. To have and to hold, through sickness and in health."
    "I do." I said, fighting back tears. I slid the ring onto Blane's finger.
    "You may now kiss the bride." Blane smiled and placed his hands on either side of my face. He gently pressed his lips to mine. I held his face there for a moment, ignoring the claps.
    It was finally here. Blane was going to be mine in less than a day. My perfect fairy tale was coming true.

  19. Ifeelsoalone Ifeelsoalone
    posted a quote
    July 30, 2011 3:47pm UTC
    Marry Me
    Sequel to Want Me
    Chapter 8 part 1
    "Come on Heidi! Blane!" Grandma yelled from the bottom of the stairs. "We don't want to be late!"
    I quickly put on my eye liner and eye-shadow. We were getting ready for the rehearsal dinner that was to start in twenty minutes. The wedding was tomorrow, and I couldn't be anymore happier!
    I looked down at the long black dress I had on. I ran my hand over my stomach. I was starting to show. I was a month and two weeks pregnant, and there was a slight bump. Nobody knew about the pregnancy besides grandma, Blane Whitney and Jessica. I hadn't told anybody.
    "You look beautiful." Blane said, wrapping his arms around me. He kissed my forehead.
    A nervous smile stretched across my face. I was nervous about tomorrow. Would it all go well?
    "Heidi, everything is going to be fine." Blane said, as if reading my mind.
    "I'm just nervous, that's all." I replied, looking down at my feet. A whole bunch of people were coming. My dad had flown in from Wyckoff with Jessica and Whitney. Blane's friends were coming. His sister had said she was coming, but it had been a month since Blane had last talked to her. He hadn't counted on her coming.
    Everyone was going to be there. Everyone except one person: my mother. I hadn't invited her. Dad had moved out three months ago, and I never sent her an invitation. I didn't want her to come. She had already ruined so much of my life, I wanted the rest to go undamaged.
    Blane put one finger under my chin and lifted my face up to look at him.
    "Heidi, there is nothing to be nervous about. This is gonna be the best wedding to date." He smiled, and I couldn't help but smile back. His eyes lit up like an august sun. His smile spread across his face like a string of happiness. I leaned on my tippy toes- I still wasn't tall enough, even with heels- and touched my lips to his.
    "Come on you two!" Grandma said, walking into the room. I smiled and took Blane's hand. We walked down the stairs. At the bottom, Whitney, Jessica, Dad and Hayden await us with smiling faces.
    "Wow." Dad said, looking me over with a smile. "I can't believe you are getting married tomorrow." I smiled. "It seems like only yesterday that your mother and I brought you home from the hospital." I hugged him as a small tear escaped from his eyes.
    "Dad, it's gonna be okay." I assured him. I let go as Hayden began to cry in Jessica's arms. I grabbed Hayden and kissed her on the forehead. She calmed down immediately.
    "Lets go." I said, holding back tears. We all walked outside. Blane, Hayden and I got in our car. Jessica, Whitney and dad all road with grandma. We made our way to the church.
    Blane took my hand as he drove.
    "It's almost here." He whispered. "We are almost married." He looked at me as he stopped at a red light. Tears fell from my eyes.
    "Heidi, what's wrong?" Blane asked, catching them before they could ruin my make-up.
    "I-I'm so happy." I muttered. We were getting married tomorrow. Today was the last day I would be known as Heidi Vast. Today was my last day as Blane's girlfriend. Tomorrow I would be known as Heidi Sanders, Blane's wife.
    He smiled and gently kissed me. "Me too." He whispered. He began to drive as the light turned green.
    Silence filled the small car as we drove to the church. Once we finally reached it, there were already people starting to arrive. Blane parked next to the entrance and we got out. Grandma pulled up next to us. I walked to the back and unbuckled Hayden out of her car seat.
    We all walked into the church together.
    "Hey guys!" Jacob said, walking up to us. He hugged Blane and I.
    "Hey man."Blane replied. "Where is Ashley?"
    "Oh, she's in there talking to Oliver and Maci. So, how's the bride to be?" He asked with a smile.
    "Anxious." I replied. He chuckled.
    "Tomorrow's the big day." He added. I nodded. "Well I better go check on Ashley. She's probably talking up a storm. See you later." He said, walking away.
    We walked through the door frame into the altar. Everybody started to walk up to us.
    "Hey guys! You ready for tomorrow?" Andy asked us as we made our way down the aisle.
    "Can't wait!" Blane replied. He made me laugh.
    "What about you Heidi? You sure you wanna marry Blane? I mean, when you got someone like me right here?" I laughed and Blane playfully punched him on the arm. Andy smiled and took a seat next to Amber and Jamie.
    Blane came to an abrupt stop.
    "What's wrong?" I asked.

  20. Ifeelsoalone Ifeelsoalone
    posted a quote
    July 30, 2011 3:19pm UTC
    Marry Me
    Sequel to Want Me
    Chapter 7
    I sat on the couch for a moment longer, tears falling from my eyes. What was I supposed to do now? I was pregnant with a baby that Blane did not love, could not love. How could this be?
    How could Blane love Hayden so much, but hate this new, unborn child? I already loved it too much to give it up. Maybe it was a mother thing. Well, whatever it was, I loved it regardless.
    I stood up and headed for the stairs. I didn't know what I was going to say to him, but I had to say something.
    I climbed the stairs, going over possible things to say in my head. I wiped my eyes one last time before opening the bedroom door and walking in.
    Blane was laying on the bed, looking at the ceiling. He sat up once I walked in the room.
    "Listen, Heidi-"
    "Wait." I cut him off, raising my hand to stop him. "I have something I want to say." I walked over and stood in front of him. He looked up at me.
    "Blane, I am pregnant. I am having a baby, whether you like it or not. Yes, I understand we are only 19, and have the rest of our lives ahead of us. But it's too late, I'm pregnant. If you didn't want a baby, you should have covered up the soldier!" My voice grew louder as I went on.
    I could hear Jessica and Whitney's footsteps as they walked up the stairs to listen in on our conversation. I didn't care, I was going to say what needed to be said.
    "Blane, being mad is not an option. You can either be happy, or-" I hesitated, afraid to say the next painful set of words. "Or, you can leave, now." I was surprised at how powerful the words came out.
    My heart stopped as Blane stood up and walked over to the door. He's leaving, I thought to myself, he's not coming back this time.
    My breathing increased as I thought about him leaving me again. It was hard enough to look at Hayden, but now that I was pregnant again, it would be hard to look at myself.
    He opened the door and peeked out. I could see Jessica and Whitney back away.
    "Do you mind?" He said, looking at them. "This is personal." He shut the door and walked back over to me.
    My heart began to beat again as I realized he wasn't leaving.
    "Heidi, I'm not going to leave you." He said, looking into my eyes. "That's my baby, and I'm sure I will love it. But I can't right now. I have to get my thoughts in order. I have to think for a while. I cant just immediately love it like you do."
    I didn't understand. "But you loved Hayden as soon as you found out." He looked down at his feet.
    "I lied." He muttered, looking up at me, waiting for my reaction. I didn't say anything. "I didn't love her. I despised her." He sighed, feeling horrible. "I didn't want someone else to take you away from me. I wanted it to be just us, and no one else. But once I held Hayden, I couldn't help but love her so much. At that moment, you both became my everything."
    I listened, not saying a word. How could Blane not tell me this before? I would like to think I would have understood.
    "Heidi, I don't know if I can handle another baby." He continued. He took my face in his hands and looked deep into my eyes. "But no matter what happens, I will be here with you all the way." He kissed me gently on the lips.
    It wasn't exactly what I wanted to hear, but It was good enough. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him with more passion.
    At that moment, everything was going to be okay. Being in Blane's arms took all my troubles away. For now.

:)

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