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I_less_than_3_you

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Member Since: 4 Jul 2008 01:37pm

Last Seen: 22 Aug 2011 09:53pm

user id: 51582

623 Quotes
1,303 Favorites
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111 Followers
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NEW WITTY:
»  FLIPTHATEMOHAI
  1. I_less_than_3_you I_less_than_3_you
    posted a quote
    August 15, 2009 2:25pm UTC
    Today, after the morning news was over, Veggie Tales
    came on. I was in the kitchen cutting up a variety of
    fruits and vegetables at the same time. I felt obligated
    to change the channel so the fruits and vegetables
    I was mutilating wouldn't see what a better life
    they could be having.
    MLIA.

  2. I_less_than_3_you I_less_than_3_you
    posted a quote
    August 15, 2009 9:40am UTC
    Today, I looked my house up on Google Earth.
    It thinks my house is about 300 yards away
    from where it actually is. I feel better knowing
    that if someone ever tried to use Google Earth
    coordinates to shoot a missile at my house,
    they would miss. *
    MLIA.

  3. I_less_than_3_you I_less_than_3_you
    posted a quote
    August 15, 2009 9:30am UTC
    Today, I was eating with a friend. Messing around, I pointed my fork at him and
    shouted, "Avada Kadavra!" He told me he didn't understand Spanish. I don't think I want
    to be his friend anymore.
    MLIA.

  4. I_less_than_3_you I_less_than_3_you
    posted a quote
    August 15, 2009 9:27am UTC
    Today, I went to the movies to see 'The Goods'.
    The cashier asked, "What would you like to see?"
    I replied, "'The Goods', please". We both
    s t a r e d a t e a c h o t h e r a w k w a r d l y .
    He looked as if he felt violated.
    MLIA.

  5. I_less_than_3_you I_less_than_3_you
    posted a quote
    August 13, 2009 1:47pm UTC
    Today, while studying in the
    middle of the night, my dad
    came home drunk. I helped
    him to the sofa and after
    clearing up his mess, he
    started going on about how
    useless my sister Vanessa was,
    and how good a daughter I am.
    I am Vanessa.
    FML.

  6. I_less_than_3_you I_less_than_3_you
    posted a quote
    August 13, 2009 1:37pm UTC
    Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a
    noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun,
    I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out
    "YAY, I caught a whale!"
    FML.

  7. I_less_than_3_you I_less_than_3_you
    posted a quote
    August 13, 2009 11:52am UTC
    Today, I drank a Red Bull. An hour later,
    my back started inexplicably hurting.
    I'm obviously growing wings.
    MLIA.

  8. I_less_than_3_you I_less_than_3_you
    posted a quote
    August 13, 2009 11:04am UTC
    * Chuck Norris
    doesn't mow his lawn. He simply
    stares at the grass and dares it to grow.

  9. I_less_than_3_you I_less_than_3_you
    posted a quote
    August 12, 2009 7:29pm UTC
    Everyone is beautiful on the inside.
    If you think bones and guts are beautiful. *
    -Happy Bunny.

  10. I_less_than_3_you I_less_than_3_you
    posted a quote
    August 12, 2009 4:40pm UTC
    Today, I saw a rabbi buying a hot dog at a kosher meat
    stand. I asked if I could take a picture with him,
    and he said yes. While the picture was taken, he did
    devil horns and stuck out his tongue. Needless to say,
    I am framing that picture. *
    MLIA.

  11. I_less_than_3_you I_less_than_3_you
    posted a quote
    August 12, 2009 11:14am UTC
    Today, I drank out of one of my little
    brother's straws that changes colors
    every time you take a sip. Not only was I
    amused all day, but now I know I'm probably
    hydrated for the rest of my life.
    MLIA.

  12. I_less_than_3_you I_less_than_3_you
    posted a quote
    August 12, 2009 11:11am UTC
    click to see this quote

  13. I_less_than_3_you I_less_than_3_you
    posted a quote
    August 8, 2009 11:10pm UTC
    * C l u b s o d a ,
    Not seals.

  14. I_less_than_3_you I_less_than_3_you
    posted a quote
    August 8, 2009 10:19pm UTC
    Today, I was driving and I noticed a Geico billboard
    that had been changed. Someone crossed out "So easy
    a caveman can do it" and spray painted "So easy a
    MUGGLE can do it." I want to find the person responsible
    a n d m a r r y t h e m . *
    MLIA.

  15. I_less_than_3_you I_less_than_3_you
    posted a quote
    August 8, 2009 10:18pm UTC
    Today, my mom is making me hang out with a family friend
    when I don't want to. She's rewarding me with money later.
    I feel like a friendship hooker.
    MLIA.

  16. I_less_than_3_you I_less_than_3_you
    posted a quote
    August 8, 2009 9:45pm UTC
    Today, I was driving at night with the windows down. At a stop
    sign, I sneezed. I then heard someone say bless you. I was afraid
    a ninja was in my car. *
    MLIA.

  17. I_less_than_3_you I_less_than_3_you
    posted a quote
    August 8, 2009 9:41pm UTC
    Today, I decided to play connect the dots with the
    mosquito bites on my arm. I made the batman logo.
    This was easily the greatest accomplishment
    of my summer vacation. *
    MLIA.

  18. I_less_than_3_you I_less_than_3_you
    posted a quote
    August 8, 2009 9:33pm UTC
    * Today, I looked at Area 51 with Google Earth. I felt like I had
    tricked the government.
    MLIA.

  19. I_less_than_3_you I_less_than_3_you
    posted a quote
    August 8, 2009 9:27pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  20. I_less_than_3_you I_less_than_3_you
    posted a quote
    August 5, 2009 11:55am UTC
    Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The cop was hot
    so I flirted with him as much as I could. But when he came
    back to the car he still gave me a ticket. Feeling desperate
    I said, "I thought you didn't give tickets to pretty girls."
    His response: "We don't". *
    FML.

:)

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