Depression.
What can that possilbly mean to someone?
To someone that has it, it can mean their life.
Every morning waking up, not knowning if you'll stay the whole day, full of hurtful emotions.
It used to mean nothing to me, because I never thought I'd be someone getting it.
That all changed, once I got it.
Now, I look at myself different, I feel as if everyone hates me.
You feel so alone, you want to tell people, but afraid of the reaction.
I know my parents know, and I know they've heard me cry at night.
Knowning they know, kills me more each day.
I think about harming myself, but I won't.
I want to get over depression.
I never thought I would be living this way.
I mean, I'm only 15. I shouldn't be going through this.
No one believing me, when I tell them I'm in pain.
It's just the, "You'll be fine." Or "Your funny, you act so fine? How could you be depressed."
Well, you have no idea how fast it comes over you.
I walk to the mirror every morning, looking into it.
And thinking, "how could anyone ever love you."
I hate myself, but I want to be okay again.
I want to be happy with myself.
I can't stand to think hurtful thoughts anymore. It's real. This feeling of depression.
All caused by a bad break up.
Everyone always tells me "It was just a guy, get over it."
Well, let me ask you. Did you date him? Did you fall in love with him, like I did? No.
I fake that smile every day, then when I get home, I sleep. So I won't have to hurt.
I get away from here, put my head phones and block out everything.
Why?
Because, it's the only thing I have anymore.
Everything else, is gone, along with him.
I want to be me again, I want to be happy again.
I want my parents to not always worry if I eat, or sleep to much.
I miss the old me.
"I want to get over you, depression."