Marissa. 19. Single :/. College Freshman, AU16<3
Loves music, twitter, sunglasses, my car, texting, the gym, my friends, my family, reading,and shopping.
I can be the nicest person ever if I like you, or the biggest witch if I need to BUT I am very friendly until you give me a reason not to be so hit me up!
Unfortunately not on witty as much anymore due to lack of time....
Meeting someone onlince can be pretty great! You talk to them all the time. They mean so much to you. You can trust them 100% and tell them things you couldn't tell anyone else. But there is a problem with only knowing someone online. Eventually they leave. They say they won't: you'll be friends forever, they care too much to let you go BUT they do leave. Even worse, they often leave in a way that hurts so badly. They leave without a word of warning.- gone just like that, leaving you mad and upset. why mad AND upset? They left without saying (I'm not saying it always happens like this; in fact it probably only happens to me, which it has, three times). I feel like this is the worst way to leave someone though because they won't know if you are alright or not. At least if you say you are done talking it will hurt but there will be closure. When a friend leaves without warning I spend so much time worrying and thinking about it, not that I wouldn't worry and think if they had said they were leaving, I would but it would be easier to eventually get over. With one just leaving you don't know if they are ok or not; they could be dead. I still worry about people I used to talk to and at times it hurts so bad. So now I am talking to this new guy and I am really starting to get attached because he is so nice and a great friend and I really love talking to him. But I can't help and wonder if it's actuallya good idea because something could happen and I would never know; one day there will just be no replies to my emails and that thought scares me so badly. But yet another chance I take...
You know that feeling where your body starts to shut down, but not beccause you are sick: because you are stressed and upset and you reach the point where you just don't even know what to do. For me, today was that day. I even had to skip class because my body couldn't handle it. I was done. I had so much on my mind and I was up so late last night thinking and crying that I just physically NEEDED to lie in bed. Some of you will probably judge and say I'm being dramatic but I'm not, I just finally reached a breaking point. I think that overthinking led me. I finally analyzed EVERYTHING that happened this year, even just these past few months, hell these past few weeks. I came to a conclusion though, I have to stop blaming everybody else and just accept thee fact that it is me. I am the cause and I am the reason for all of my problems, failed relationships, hell I'm the reason I am the way I am. Not saying I like but just saying that's what it is. I feel like people say that you need to share the way you feel with others but I can't A) who I would share with and B) if I could find someone to share with there is NO way that they will understand everything going through my head and they will most definitely think that I am crazy. I feel broken, not my heart; everything: my whole body, just me. And it wasn't a clean break it was shattering and I lost so many pieces along the way. There is no coming back from this...I am what I am.
That horrible moment when you start falling for someone your friends don't like so you have to lie and say that you got over it and therefore cannot be truthful in your conversations with him because you are hifing all of your feelings from the world....yeah this is how my life has been all week!
I would end up falling for a guy that my friends don't like or trust. I don't know if I can trust him myself, but he is so great....ugh I don't know what to do. Why does this happen with the first guy that may actually like me back (May being because he seems like a TOTAL flirt). Any Advice???
I feel as if the snow (and I guess rain too) makes me more emotional. I sit around and think about all the things I've been through. Daydreams always seem to arise, to show me what I want. It used to be you but I'm not sure anymore. I thikknk I thought you were the only good one but I think I may have been wrong, there are other good ones out there
I never cried in public I would never do that to myself But here I am: tired, feeling lonely, thinking about you and watching the snow and as my mind drifts off, I feel a few tears start to fall I wish I was completely over you but I don't know if that will be possible until I find someone new But you know all about that...
I thought you were different, I thought you really cared but look how much you hurt me. But no, I can't tell you because your happiness is key. I truly want you to be happy even without me. As I watch the snow outside, it makes me want to cry but I know it's not right if I let the tears fall from my eye. We no longer talk everyday and I miss you so, so badly but inside I know it'll be ok; I won't always be this sad
So lately I have been so different...I changed ever since you left me. At least I assume you left me since you just stopped messaging me. Someone else answers your aim messages and a lady answers when I call your cell phone. Ok, I get the hint clearly you want us to be over although I don't understand how after FOUR years you think it is ok to just stop talking to me out of the blue. Over the summer I had so many new things going on that I was able to push it out of my mind most of the time but now I have so much more time to think and what does my mind have me think about, you of course. I can't handle it anymore I just really need you to talk to me, please I am so so lost without. I am sure you check my witty and I am sure you will see this and if you do, Justin, I still love you! Just remember that!!