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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

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Trishaaa
posted a quote
December 31, 2012 9:36pm UTC

Mom: Maybe you should go outside and make some friends.
Me: Sometimes I think I should do crystal meth, but then I think mmm, better not.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 58 points

Eli123qwe
posted a quote
December 31, 2012 9:19pm UTC

Right now,
My 8 year old sister is
playing on her iPod
on the computer
online
texting on her iPhone
browsing on her iTouch
Carefully lining up
markers in a bowling
formation, and trying to
get a strike with a
ping-pong ball
See? They exist.
(she got a spare!)

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 38 points

kara008
posted a quote
December 31, 2012 9:21pm UTC

Being attractive
is not an excuse for
being an awful person.
Just saying.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 142 points

msemilyosment
posted a quote
December 30, 2012 4:23pm UTC

January 1, 2012 2013
And you know all of you papers are gonna look like this on your first day back to school

👍 this is good · read the comments · 221 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
December 29, 2012 5:13pm UTC

iTunes has got it all wrong.
The hottest single of the year is me.

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letsdanceinStyles
posted a quote
December 29, 2012 6:08pm UTC

omg.
what if there was a type of gum that can make you have any desired accent or something

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jimmy365
posted a quote
December 29, 2012 9:24pm UTC

you don’t realize how boring you are until someone asks you what you like to do in your spare time

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jimmy365
posted a quote
December 29, 2012 5:51pm UTC

❄ ❄
❄
i f t h e w o r l d h a d a s n o w f l a k e ,
for every time he thought of you we would really have a
white christmas
❄
❄

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Common Teenager*
posted a quote
December 29, 2012 10:15pm UTC

Yahoo! Answers
Resolved question:
Is Christian Bale a Christian because his name is Christian?
His parent's must have named him that for a reason...
Best answer:
Is Mitt Romney a baseball glove?

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jimmy365
posted a quote
December 29, 2012 5:01pm UTC

sometimes the most real things in this world
a r e t h e t h i n g s w e c a n ' t s e e

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jimmy365
posted a quote
December 29, 2012 9:53pm UTC

me: could i have a large
lady at starbucks: Oh, do you mean a venti?
me: can we not do this

👍 this is good · read the comments · 642 points

sammy*
posted a quote
December 23, 2012 7:44pm UTC

Pants without pockets: why
Pants with fake pockets: okay now you're just being rude

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1135 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
December 23, 2012 11:04am UTC

I use jokes from Witty in real life,
and my friends thiink I'm some kind of comedic genius.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1337 points

yourcool
posted a quote
December 23, 2012 5:36pm UTC

is it just me or does christmas feel weird this year?

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yourcool
posted a quote
December 28, 2012 3:49pm UTC

mom: do the dishes.
me: i can't, i'm ugly.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 307 points

yourcool
posted a quote
December 28, 2012 4:25pm UTC

One, two, three, four.
I'm the girl you all ignore.
Five, six, seven, and eight.
Once you notice it'll be too late.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 342 points

yourcool
posted a quote
December 28, 2012 3:40pm UTC

the best thing about being single is
sleeping around. you can sleep all ove that bed of yours. left, right, middle, wherever.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 335 points

pluto*
posted a quote
December 28, 2012 4:03pm UTC

Everyone, at one point in their lives, has been hit in the face with a ball.

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