Witty Profiles

FutureMrsBrunoMars

1. FutureMrsBrunoMars
   posted a quote
   April 6, 2012 1:35pm UTC
   On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
   On a scale of 1 to Charlie Sheen, how drunk are you?
   nmf/nmq
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
2. FutureMrsBrunoMars
   posted a quote
   April 6, 2012 1:26pm UTC
   How does Lady Gaga like her steak?
   I don't know.
   Raw raw raw raw raw.....raw raw raw raw raw!
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
3. FutureMrsBrunoMars
   posted a quote
   April 6, 2012 2:09am UTC
   When Katniss was trying to blow up the food supply in the arena,
   Why did she use arrows to trigger it?
   I think it would be easier to just use a rock or something.
   Just me?
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
4. FutureMrsBrunoMars
   posted a quote
   April 6, 2012 1:24am UTC
   *Forever Alone*
   Friend 1: My boyfriend did the cutest thing last night....
   Friend 2: My boyfriend bought me....
   Friend 3: My boyfriend took me to....
   Me: My cat climbed on top of the fridge...
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 20 points
5. FutureMrsBrunoMars
   posted a quote
   April 5, 2012 10:12pm UTC
   If British people have really cool accents in America,
   What does an “American” accent sound like to them?
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 14 points
6. FutureMrsBrunoMars
   posted a quote
   April 4, 2012 5:45pm UTC
   Dear Taylor Swift,
   In the song “Love Story”, Romeo and Juilet get married.
   When I wrote “The Tragedy of Romeo and Juilet” , Romeo and Juilet both die.
   Sincerely, William Shakepeare
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
7. FutureMrsBrunoMars
   posted a quote
   April 4, 2012 4:25pm UTC
   Television
   The early 21st century drug of choice. A shared illusion, making its addicts think they have friends, a life, access to good information, and the critical thinking skills to form valid opinions. Fatal in large doses.
   From: Urban Dictionary
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
8. FutureMrsBrunoMars
   posted a quote
   April 4, 2012 4:09pm UTC
   Dental Swag
   the complementary stuff with which you leave your dentist’s office: toothbrush, dental floss, etc.
   From: Urban Dictionary
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
9. FutureMrsBrunoMars
   posted a quote
   April 4, 2012 4:05pm UTC
   GOOGLE TIC
   The uncontrollable urge to conduct a Google search on any and every question, thought, concept, word or name that comes to mind, including new acquaintances, products and companies.
   From: Urban Dictionary
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 18 points
10. FutureMrsBrunoMars
    posted a quote
    April 4, 2012 3:31pm UTC
    How To: Annoy your friend
    Friend: The student teacher is cute. ;)
    Me: OMG! You've got the hots for Mr. Student Teacher
    Me: *takes folder and write upon it: YOU LOVE MR. STUDENT TEACHER!!!*
    Student Teacher: *sees folder* Ummmmmm
    Friend: its not what it looks like....
    Me: Yes it is she took a marker and wrote on her folder because she loves you.
    Friend: I could shove you off a cliff.
    Me: This state posses no cliffs. Boo and a yah!
    Friend: I hate you.
    Me: You love me.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
11. FutureMrsBrunoMars
    posted a quote
    April 4, 2012 3:26pm UTC
    How To: Ruin a book for someone
    Friend: Just finished Catching Fire! So good! I love Finnick!
    Me: Too bad he dies.
    Friend: What??!!!?!?!?!
    Me: Spolier alert....
    Friend: :/
    Me: They also get married and have a baby.
    Friend: thanks.....merp. :/
    Me: Anytime! :P
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points
12. FutureMrsBrunoMars
    posted a quote
    March 20, 2012 5:05pm UTC
    Listening to my man Drake <3
    #greatafternoon
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
13. FutureMrsBrunoMars
    posted a quote
    March 18, 2012 1:04am UTC
    My pillow is a hairstylist....
    I always wake up with a new hairstyle.
    </3
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 31 points
14. FutureMrsBrunoMars
    posted a quote
    March 18, 2012 12:56am UTC
    I am the only one who <3s BIG TIME RUSH?
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 4 points
15. FutureMrsBrunoMars
    posted a quote
    March 18, 2012 12:50am UTC
    Friend: *walk back into class from bathroom*
    ME: what took so long?
    Friend: there was no toilet paper in the stall. i called out to some lady in the hall. i asked her for toilet paper and it was really awkard.
    ME: hahahahahah *crying* *stomach hurting*
    REST OF CLASS: hahahahah!
    Friend: merp :(
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
16. FutureMrsBrunoMars
    posted a quote
    March 17, 2012 11:42pm UTC
    That awkard moment # 1
    when you say goodbye to someone then walk in the same direction.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
17. FutureMrsBrunoMars
    posted a quote
    March 17, 2012 11:29pm UTC
    That akward moment when you spell "awkward" wrong....
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points

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