I just want to vent.
Nobody is here for me. My best friend is miles away from me, not that I blame her. It's not her fault that her parents decided to move. But I still feel lonely without her. She was one person who I could completely rely on- even after being backstabbed so many times. I've had many friends but nobody was as great as her. I've had many friends but nobody could hold my secrets like she could.
A person who was very close to me, told me something very rude today and I feel hearbroken about it. He judged me. Even when he did that, I didn't mind. I still tried to start a conversation with him but he kind of ignored me. He didn't smile like he always used to, he didn't joke with me or try to make me laugh like he used to.
My dad gets annoyed by me, my mum scolds me all day long. Not even my parents love me, and I have had many experiences regarding that.
Everybody believes the fake smile that I have on my face, nobody sees the tears that I shed everyday. I wish that there was at least one person who would comfort me or just hold me and tell me that everything will be fine, even if nothing is fine.
When I don't share my feelings with people, they say that I'm too much of a close book but if I share my feelings with them, they just say that I want attention. When will people stop judging me? When will people stop leaving me? When will I have someone who would love me and look past every flaw of mine? I guess I know the answer, never.
I'm desperately waiting for my life to end.
永久*