Fortunecookie

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Member Since: 9 Apr 2011 12:49pm

Last Seen: 1 Jan 2013 12:40am

user id: 164096

32 Quotes
699 Favorites
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Hey guys it's Fortunecookie (no chiz) :P
:) Hey my name is Izzy. I love giving advice so if you have anything you want to talk about, just ask me(: I'm really outgoing and I love people. Friends are my life and without them I'd probably die. I just got out of a relationship<\3

P.s. I ♥ cookies

Fortunecookie
posted a quote
October 6, 2011 4:45pm UTC

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Fortunecookie
posted a quote
September 20, 2011 5:39pm UTC

Not laughing at a joke
because you don’t like
the person who told it.

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Fortunecookie
posted a quote
September 13, 2011 11:30pm UTC

I hate looking at couples,
because the same thought
always comes to my head;
I miss that.

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Fortunecookie
posted a quote
September 13, 2011 9:41pm UTC

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Fortunecookie
posted a quote
September 13, 2011 9:17pm UTC

When I'm upset I cut myself...
another slice of cheesecake.

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Fortunecookie
posted a quote
September 12, 2011 10:31pm UTC

I wanted to be a Ninja,
so I Googled "Ninja School."
I followed a link to their website, and it said
'page cannot be found'
Woah, these guys are good.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 34 points

Fortunecookie
posted a quote
September 12, 2011 7:43pm UTC

And who else...
is excited for a new season of
glee

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Fortunecookie
posted a quote
September 11, 2011 2:54pm UTC

I just read that 4,153,237
people got married last year.
I don't want to cause any arguments but... shouldn't that be an even number?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 300 points

Fortunecookie
posted a quote
September 10, 2011 7:48pm UTC

There was a blind girl
who hated herself just because she was blind.
She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend.
He was always there for her.
She said that if she could only see the world,
she would marry her boyfriend.
One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her
and then she could see everything,
including her boyfriend.
Her boyfriend asked,
"Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?"
The girl was shocked
when she saw that her boyfriend was blind too,
and refused to marry him.
Her boyfriend walked away in tears,
and later wrote a letter to her saying...
"Just take care of my eyes, dear."
I'll always love you forever...

👍 this is good · read the comments · 17 points

Fortunecookie
posted a quote
September 4, 2011 8:45pm UTC

Would you like to try a new
male enhancement method?
Yes Witty ads, obviously I need some help with that.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 80 points

Fortunecookie
posted a quote
September 4, 2011 5:09pm UTC

Today, I went to a football game.
During a time out,
my face appeared on the Jumbotron during the Kiss Cam segment.
I was sitting next to my brother.
FML

👍 this is good · read the comments · 23 points

Fortunecookie
posted a quote
September 1, 2011 6:37pm UTC

Why would I wear
name brand clothing
When I can get something that looks exactly the same
90%off at
Walmart?*

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 19 points

Fortunecookie
posted a quote
September 1, 2011 6:10pm UTC

Google ads on Witty.
REALLY...?

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Fortunecookie
posted a quote
August 28, 2011 10:19pm UTC

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Fortunecookie
posted a quote
August 28, 2011 5:36pm UTC

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Fortunecookie
posted a quote
August 5, 2011 10:11pm UTC

Who says nothing is impossible?
I've been doing nothing for years.

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Fortunecookie
posted a quote
July 27, 2011 6:01pm UTC

Do you believe in love at first sight?
♥Or should I walk by again?♥

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Fortunecookie
posted a quote
July 27, 2011 5:30pm UTC

You shouldn't compare yourself to others...
They're a lot more screwed up than you think.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points

Fortunecookie
posted a quote
July 18, 2011 2:11am UTC

I AM...
I ᴀᴍ ᴀ ᴅᴀᴜɢʜᴛᴇʀ. A sɪsᴛᴇʀ. A ɢʀᴀɴᴅ-ᴅᴀᴜɢʜᴛᴇʀ. A ɴɪᴇᴄᴇ.
A ᴄᴏᴜsɪɴ. A ғʀɪᴇɴᴅ. I ᴀᴍ ᴀ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ. A sᴛᴜᴅᴇɴᴛ. A ʏᴏᴜɴɢɢɪʀʟ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴀ ɢʀᴏᴡɴ ᴡᴏᴍᴀɴ. I ᴀᴍ ᴄᴏɴғɪᴅᴇɴᴛ ᴀɴᴅ sᴄᴀʀᴇᴅ.
Tᴇʀʀɪғɪᴇᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴇxᴄɪᴛᴇᴅ. I ᴀᴍ ʟᴏᴠɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴀʀɪɴɢ. Aɴᴅ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛғᴜʟ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴏᴘᴇғᴜʟ. I ᴀᴍ sɪᴄᴋ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛɪʀᴇᴅ. I ᴀᴍ
ғʀɪᴇɴᴅʟʏ. I'ᴍ ᴄᴀʀᴇғᴜʟ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴀʀᴇʟᴇss. I ᴀᴍ
ʙʀᴏᴋᴇɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡʜᴏʟᴇ. I ᴀᴍ ᴍɪsᴜɴᴅᴇʀsᴛᴏᴏᴅ. Mɪsɢᴜɪᴅᴇᴅ,
ᴍɪsʟᴇᴀᴅ. I ᴀᴍ ʜᴀʀᴅᴡᴏʀᴋɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴇᴛᴇʀᴍɪɴᴇᴅ.
Bᴜᴛ ᴀ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ sᴄᴀʀᴇᴅ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ɪɴsɪᴅᴇ. I ᴡɪsʜ ᴏɴ sᴛᴀʀs ᴀɴᴅ
ᴍʏ ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍs. I ᴘʀᴀʏ ᴛᴏ ɢᴏᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄʀʏ ᴍʏ ᴛᴇᴀʀs.I sᴍɪʟᴇ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴜᴛsɪᴅᴇ. I'ᴍ ᴅʏɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ɪɴsɪᴅᴇ.I ʟɪsᴛᴇɴ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀs ᴡʜᴏ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟɪsᴛᴇɴ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ. I ᴡᴀʟᴋ ᴏɴ
ᴇɢɢsʜᴇʟʟs. Aɴᴅ I ᴡᴀʟᴋ ᴏɴ ғɪʀᴇ. I ʙᴇʟɪᴇᴠᴇ ɪɴ ᴘᴀssɪᴏɴ,
ʙᴜᴛ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛʀᴜᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ. I ʟᴏᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ I ᴘᴜsʜ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀᴡᴀʏ.I ᴡᴀɴᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ʙᴜᴛ ɴᴏᴛ sᴏ ᴄʟᴏsᴇ. I ᴀᴍ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴀʟʟ ᴀᴛ ᴏɴᴄᴇ. Aɴᴅ ᴀʟʟ I ᴡᴀɴᴛ ɪs ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ LOVE ME.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 12 points

Fortunecookie
posted a quote
July 18, 2011 12:49am UTC

Turn into a jet
LIKE A BOSS
Bomb the Russians
LIKE A BOSS
Crash into the sun
LIKE A BOSS
Now I'm dead
LIKE A BOSS

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points

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