i'm not quie sure why i'm writing this, maybe it's because of my sudden odd addiction to teen wolf, but i needed to put it somewhere, even if just for a little bit. it'll make me feel better. you don't have to read it, i swear.
i think the reason that i find myself in lydia and stiles the most is because i'm really nothing special. not in the sense that they're dull characters — not at all, but in the sense that they aren't the ones with supernatural powers (or not werewolf abilities, anyway,) they're the researchers, the ones with the plan, the ones who make the behind the scenes happen. whenever i talk with my friends about with characters we associate ourselves with the most, they always tell me who i should associate with, how i'm "absolutely nothing like" the characters i choose to fixate on and empathize with. this leaves me having to keep it to myself, but with lydia and stiles... i don't know. they are unarguably part of me. stiles — the silly one, who relies on sarcasm and quick wit to hide behind, effortlessly smart, but lacking all the drive. i find myself in him because my friends, the people around me, are the special ones, the cool ones, the attractive ones, the ones who don't hang back. me, i'm the one voted most likely to get pucnhed in the face for making smartass comments all the time. i find myself in him because despite stiles being the most ordinary, he's still well-developed, charismatic, believable. i find a connection with him because it makes me feel like i could be that sort of character, too.
y'know, still important.
and lydia. "places to do, people to see" lydia. i love lydia because she loves her sexuality, because people fear her for it. she is power. she is what drives the group the most from behind. this isn't really why i identify with her, but it is what i want to grow to be. i identify with her because everyone thinks she is vividly stupid, an airhead, creative but no good for intelligence. like doing jocks is what she does best. that is, until you truly recoginze what a genius lydia martin is. she understands languages she doesn't speak, knows the symptoms of any disease off the top of her head. knows how to make a self igniting molotov cocktail off the top of her head. i find myself in this because that is how the majority of my peers think of me. people asked me if my name got mixed up when i won a math competition. people tell me i get good grades because "the teacher totally has a soft spot for you." it's not like that. i can understand languages i don't speak. i know the symptoms of any disease of the top of my head. chemistry. astronomy. language. social issues. i find myself in lydia because while she hides it well, she breaks the box she has been put into. she smashes a fücking hole through it. she gives me hope that 'b' can be for both 'books' and 'boobs,' and that that's okay. that's okay. that i don't have to hide one half of myself for another. and stiles reminds me that it's okay to be ordinary, because really, as ordinary as you might think you are, you still really aren't. they tell me that i should take pride in who i am, and consider myself a gift, even though i might not be anything special or solid by anyone else's standards.
hyperion*