Fake_a_smile's Quotes

Fake_a_smile

Fake_a_smile
posted a quote
December 23, 2012 4:07pm UTC

Casually going to sleep when you know that in a few hours, a fat guy with a giant sack is going to break into your house by going down your chimney, call you a ho (ho-ho) and proceed to go and eat your cookies, and then, leave, and break into every other house in town.
Because I mean, what's weird about that?

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Fake_a_smile
posted a quote
December 22, 2012 7:25pm UTC

How To Win My Heart
1. Have a good music taste.
2. Wear cool band tees
3. Give them to me.

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Fake_a_smile
posted a quote
December 22, 2012 6:38pm UTC

Sleepaway Camper Problems
Asking if you can go to a friends birthday party.
"Mom, can I go to my friends party next month?"
"...Maybe. What state do they live in?"
"New Jersey.. it's only 7 hours away...please?"

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Fake_a_smile
posted a quote
December 21, 2012 9:21pm UTC

BEFORE YOU FLY
YOU FALL STOLEN
BY THE WIND THAT
TURNS THE LEAVES TO RAZORS

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Fake_a_smile
posted a quote
December 21, 2012 8:39pm UTC

So the other day during school,
Someone was saying something stupid.
The girl who sits next to me stands up, looks at him with a straight face, cups her hands, and says:
"See this? This here, is my bowl of care.
It's empty."

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Fake_a_smile
posted a quote
December 20, 2012 11:28pm UTC

Just a friendly reminder
That we're all supposed to die in the next 18 hours.

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Fake_a_smile
posted a quote
December 18, 2012 9:22pm UTC

It's not that there aren't any attractive guys in my school.
It's just that all of them are upperclassmen with girlfriends.
every. single. one.

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Fake_a_smile
posted a quote
December 16, 2012 9:33pm UTC

Government: Let's ban guns so that things like Sandy Hook don't happen again.
Mass Murderers: Oh, woah, guns are against the law now, guess I can't shoot people any more, I mean like, gosh, I couldn't break the law and get a gun, that might get me arrested!

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Fake_a_smile
posted a quote
December 16, 2012 9:23pm UTC

You can pay for school
But you can't buy class
Those in Glass Houses-Of Mice & Men

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Fake_a_smile
posted a quote
December 16, 2012 7:58pm UTC

Person: *Wears Beatles shirt*
Beatles fans: Oh, ok, cool.
Person: *Wears One Direction shirt*
Directioners: Oh, look, another directioner.
Person: *Wears a PTV or SWS shirt*
PTV and SWS fans: Holy sh*t they like the same music as me I need to go over there because like omg they could be like my soulmate or my new best friend and now I'll have someone to fangirl with I LOVE YOU RANDOM BAND-TEE WEARING STRANGER.
*not meant to be offensive, I fit into the last category lol*

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Fake_a_smile
posted a quote
December 16, 2012 4:50pm UTC

Punk Goes Pop:
Undoing the damage of Kidzbop since 2002.

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Fake_a_smile
posted a quote
December 14, 2012 9:00pm UTC

Smiling children with christmas cheer,
Singing songs for all to hear.
Sitting in school, just a typical day,
But sadly, things cannot continue that way.
The sounds of the children, all having fun,
Is suddenly stopped by the sound of a gun.
They don't understand what they hear,
And they don't know a killer is near.
But then a stranger walks into the room,
The shots of his gun make a powerful boom.
The children start crying,
They slowly start dying,
One bullet at a time,
This is a terrible crime.
The students all run,
but not fast enough,
It's the end of their fun,
This is gonna be tough.
They watch their friends die,
Right in front of their eyes,
Twenty children now missed,
They will never be kissed,
Never know love,
For they're far up above.
The kids, not yet seven,
Have flown up to heaven.
RIP to the victims of the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting who had their whole lives stolen from them</3

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Fake_a_smile
posted a quote
December 14, 2012 8:37pm UTC

A new version of Witty Profiles is coming out next week!
The new version is simpler, looks great on mobile, and has some exciting new features. Learn more at the Witty Profiles Facebook Page
No, Steve, not again! I just made my profile work with this version!
CHANGE ALL YOU WANT BUT PLEASE DON'T SCREW WITH PROFILE ELEMENTS PLEASE IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO FIGURE OUT THESE ONES.

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Fake_a_smile
posted a quote
December 9, 2012 9:26pm UTC

I lost the game.
(You are now aware that you lost it as well)

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Fake_a_smile
posted a quote
December 9, 2012 7:49pm UTC

♥
They say the grass is greener
On the other side
But from where I'm standing
It looks just fine

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Fake_a_smile
posted a quote
December 9, 2012 7:17pm UTC

They say that life's an open book;
Turn the page, and take another look.
You can't judge me by my cover;
It's not what you see, but what you discover

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Fake_a_smile
posted a quote
December 9, 2012 4:44pm UTC

Me: brings fluffy rainbow unicorn pen to school in elementary school
Everyone: Ooh, a unicorn!
~~~~~~~~~~several years pass~~~~~~~~~~
Me: brings fluffy rainbow unicorn pen into middle school
Everyone: Ew, that's so lame, you weirdo. You're so dumb, gosh, get away from me.
~~~~~~~~~~several years pass~~~~~~~~~~
Me: brings fluffy rainbow unicorn pen into high school
Everyone: Holy sh/t that is the most wonderful amazing magical thing I have ever seen in my entire life where did you get that its so fluffy and rainbowy and it has a unicorn on it holy crap I'm going to die it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen oh my god.

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Fake_a_smile
posted a quote
December 9, 2012 4:02pm UTC

No boyfriend November?
More like no boyfriend lifetime.
The closest thing I've had to a boyfriend was a christmas tree.
Yes, a christmas tree. His name was Fred. He was the right size, a little taller than me. I danced with him at the christmas tree sale that I was working at earlier. I'm forever alone.

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Fake_a_smile
posted a quote
December 8, 2012 2:14pm UTC

Witty is dying
I've gotten more faves on a second-top quote in the 24 hours section than there are in the top quote of the month page now. I've gotten almost twice as many faves in top of the hour as people now are getting in top of the day. Back when the newest quotes updated every five minutes, we were getting a page a minute. Now, we're lucky to get one.
If we don't do something, this site is going to die. We need to make more quotes; good ones. We need to get more people on the site. Pass it on, so everyone can help out.
Don't let Witty fade away

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Fake_a_smile
posted a quote
December 7, 2012 9:12pm UTC

OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD.
The anthem winter line just came out. They have a unicorn shirt.
UNICORNS AND KELLIN QUINN HAVE BEEN COMBINED MY LIFE IS COMPLETE
I NEED THIS SHIRT SO BAD HOLY CRAP I'M DYING THIS IS AMAZING FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW. THIS BETTER BE UNDER THE CHRISTMAS TREE~
http://www.anthemmade.com/products/they-do-exist

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