She created a place in her mind after everything bad happened as a child, this place in her mind said to her that she was okay. After something else happened the place in her mind was no longer good for her, instead it haunted her. She lost herself. emotionless to somethings that vary, putting a facade on to show that she's happy and feeling fine, when clearly otherwise. ((He is a different story. )) He used to make her feel even better and that she was kind of loved and that she had hope for the future, that she wanted to spend the future alive. Now she's not really sure what's next, but the thoughts of him gets her overwhelmed. Happy, sad and angry. One moment, she would be happy, that it's done, ended and the next she is sad at the fact she was never really loved. Anger comes in when he couldn't tell her who he really is and what he's like. It's a cycle of all these emotions for the past couple of days and nights. She questions whether he is a physcopath or whether he actually loved her. It's hard for her to believe that he never loved her, the amount of times he told her convinced her. Then the thoughts of him telling another girl the same thing flood in, which just proves to her. She used to think of telling him that no one will ever love him as much as she did, but this girl probably does which pains her. She feels so very numb when she's by herself, she's trying to find herself but it's quite impossible when she's just thinking of him. She knows she's supposed to do well this year, really well. But she's not in the right place and she doesn't think she will ever be. It's only 9 days into this year she wishes she could rewind it to the start of the year so she could hear him say he loved her even if he really didn't. She didn't want to do what she did but she didn't think he would ever understand, so maybe now he will see.
How to get ahead in life -For everyone. 1. Don’t pay too much attention to the way you feel. Feelings change throughout the day and they are unreliable. Don’t let them rule your life, or interfere with your goals. 2. Decide not to worry as it tends to make things worse. If you focus on your worries it will drain your energy – and often what we’re dreading doesn’t happen anyway. 3. Cut the internal commentary. Stop telling yourself that things are going to fall apart, or your efforts won’t succeed, or you won’t be popular. Keep trying, moving forwards, and getting on with life. 4. Stop being self-critical. You need to be your own cheerleader and your biggest fan in life. Note progress, perseverance, attitude and inner strength. Be affirming, kind, believing and coach towards success. 5. Stop feeling guilty. Feeling guilty changes nothing. You are going to make mistakes. Accept you aren’t perfect - then get up and try again. 6. Stop worrying about what others think of you. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter what they think. Choose your own goals for your life – you’re not accountable to them. 7. Don’t worry about set backs or changes to your plans. Plans always need adjusting and things always go wrong – but that doesn’t mean “it’s over” or you’ll never reach your goals. Expect to make some changes – just be adaptable.
Daily Reminders. -For everyone. 1. My self worth does not depend on what others think and say about me. 2. My self worth does not depend on how I look or what I weigh. 3. My self worth does not depend on my marks or performance. 4. My self worth does not depend on my number of followers. 5. I am enough just as I am. 6. I can succeed despite a bad day. 7. I am beautiful and valuable – and will treat myself with kindness and respect.
Never thought that I would be the one person to say that there is a brighter side, but there is. You need to find it, each and everyone of us have a different way of finding the brighter side; in the end you will find it or it will find you.