Dear him,You were absolutely & quite literally everything to me. It's been 11 months & I still think of you nearly every single day of my life. It doesn't help when I see you in school & I'm like a ghost to you. I know damn well that you loved me, for an entire 7 months. But now? Now I'm no one. I could've confided in you for all these things I've been feeling lately. I'm an entirely different person, you destroyed me. I'm insecure & unstable, I'm lost & broken. No, you didn't cause all of this, not directly at least. Ever since you left, everything just seems so empty & useless. I've lost motivation for anything, I've lost what attracted people. I used to be able to catch the eye of anyone, in a good or bad way. I was bold & unstoppable. Now I'm quiet, reserved, & damaged. I feel like I've lost the light in me. Like it's burnt out, like I'm not who I was at all. I'm an empty vessel now. Maybe I've gotten over losing you but just hearing a single word can bring back so many memories that tear me apart at the seams. I wish I still had you, or at least someone who kept me going like you did. You kept me bold & strong, until you left. I crumpled, like a piece of paper with mistakes all over it. I cried for 2 weeks, I couldn't eat, I couldn't function. I cried & slept. I guess that permanently changes someone, but I just wish it hadn't happened. You came back, you really came back, but you're not you anymore either. You've changed, you've become what I've become but more cruel than me. You're drinking & smoking more like me, you're being a little player like me, but when I had you back... I wasn't an *sshole like you were. I was forced to leave you, you had changed so much and became so cruel that I wasn't putting myself through that, even to just have you. I miss not you, but who you were. I don't care if I get you back, please just go back to your old self. I wouldn't mind that, because then I'd know that I have a chance of becoming my old self too. But best of all, I wish you could just see this. I'll always care, indefinitely.