me: can i go to the bathroom teacher: no, too many of you have gone already. me: wow you're right, this class shares such a dEEP SPIRITUAL CONNECTION THAT OUR BLADDERS ARE SOMEHOW CONNECTED me: WHEN ONE OF US PEES, THEY PEE FOR THE GREATER GOOD OF THE PEOPLE me: we do not pee alone. we pee as one.
so if my life was a book, these would be the names of some of the chapters: That Time I Was An Idiot In Which Lizzy Is An Emotionally Compromised Mess Help! Feelings! Adventures In Social Awkwardness Everyone Thinks I'm Happy But I'm Suicidal No, Really, I'm Sad Flirting, AKA That Time I Forgot How To Speak How Do You Boyfriend?? I Want To Throw Myself Off A Cliff
so today I found out that if you create a religion and at least ten people follow it, it becomes an actual legitimate religion. i told my little sister about it and she says she wants to make a religion where you worship flying pigs. can ten of you join the Religion of the Flying Pigs and make it happen?
I hate myself for being so insecure I’m always comparing myself to my friends, family, and even strangers. “Why can’t I have flawless skin like her?” “Why can’t I be as toned?” “Why can’t I have gorgeous hair like that?” Why this, why that. It brings me down every day. People notice better looking people more. I constantly have to do something to stand out from the rest because my insecurities create the need to having to compete even over simple things.
jimmy365 posted a quote
January 4, 2013 4:04pm UTC
one time my brother got in trouble for breaking some stuff in the house and so since my mom needed some new and creative methods of punishment she made him sit down and read the facebook terms & conditions f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5
yourcool posted a quote
December 30, 2012 6:26pm UTC
I won't be on until after the New Year. And this is where I want to thank some people. No one in particular, really. Just every person that follows me, and whoever has favorited my quotes, or even commented on my page. I just want to thank all of you. You've brought me to where I am today. Through ups and downs. But anyway, thak you everyone. And I just wanna say: Stay safe, don't get into a drunk drivers car (if you're into that stuff), don't get too wild, but have fun. (and espcecially thank you to steve, of course. have an amazing New Year with your wife!) Cheers to the New Year!