to do list: 1. Make vanilla ice cream. Put in mayo jar. Eat in public. 2. Hire two private investigators. Get them to follow each other. 3. Wear shirt that says 'Life'. Hand out lemons in a street corner. 4. Get into a crowded elevator and say ' I bet you all are wondering why I have gathered you here today'. 5. Major in philosophy. Ask people WHY they want fries with that. 6. Run into a store. Ask what year it is. When someone answers, yell 'It worked!' and run out cheering. 7. Become a doctor. Change last name to Acula. 8. Change name to Simon. Speak in 3rd person. 9. Buy a parrot. Teach the parrot to say 'Help. A evil wizard and witch turned me into a parrot!' reaptedly. 10. Follow joggers around in your car blasting 'Eye of the Tiger' for encouragement.
-------------~♥~------------ There's 104 Days of Summer Vacation And school comes along just to end it So the annual problem, for our generation Is finding a good way to spend it. Like maybe... Eating some Rocket Pops Or tryin' to get money Rebloggin' bout the Eiffel Tower *da da dadada* Typin' in quotes that doesn't exist And rarely ever taking a shower *do do do doooo* Surfing the internet Creating a new blog Annoying facebook girls don't have brains "You're so annoying" Playin' Angry Birds Rebloggin' more monuments Directioners sure are insane "Liam!" As you can see there's a whole lot of stuff to do Before school starts next fall "Common' guys" So stick with us Cause the internet rules And you won't regret it at all So stick with us Cause you're addicted And you won't regret it at all "Honeyy! Get off your laptop" "No!" format by neversaynever16/ quote by MsEmilyHoran
News in Britain: Stamps have gone up 14 pence News in America: Cannibal eats man's face Britain: What? News in America: Man throws his own intestines at police News in Canada: Body parts mailed to government News in America: Women kills and eats 3 week old baby Britain: Uhh... News in Britain: Our butterfly population is still declining.
What to do before I die. If asked which child is yours while standing by a playground at the park, reply with, "I haven't decided yet..." Put blue Gatorade in a Windex bottle. Drink it in public. Go to IKEA. Hide in wardrobe. When someone opens wardrobe yell "FOR NARNIA!!!!!!!!" Change iPod name to "Titanic." Download new songs. Be amused by the fact that the Titanic is syncing. Put sign on door that reads "Dumble." Dress up in a chicken costume. Cross the street. Change name to Frank. Start every sentence with "I'm going to be Frank..." Steal friend's phone. Change your contact name to "Nature." Call friend. Buy a turtle. Name it "The Speed of Light." Tell everyone that I can run faster than "The Speed of Light." Go to Burger King and order a Big Mac. Insist on having it "your way." Never say stop when the people at Olive Garden grate cheese over your meal. Find out if woodchucks can chuck wood Buy angry birds stuffed animals. Walk around town throwing them at people. Go into a bank wearing a ski mask. Complete a normal transaction. Leave as if nothing is wrong. Find a bruised apple on the shelf. Give it a soft hug and whisper, "Who did this to you?" Go trick-or-treating on April 1st Find fat lady. Ask her to sing
*My mom on Mother's Day* Mom: Hey honey could you get me a glass of water? Mom: And make me lunch? Mom: You made me a card right? Mom: Where's my present? Mom: This is MY day! Mom: You are my servants. Mom: I am master, you are slave. Mom: Can I borrow seven thousand dollars? Mom: Oh and go ten miles to get me a bottle of coke please, this one's flat. Me: Okay, anything you want. This is your day! *My mom on my birthday* Me: Hey beautiful mother, would you mind kindly turning on the ligh - Mom: GET UP AND DO IT YOURSELF YOU LAZY TOAD. (I mean no disrespect - I love my Mom!)
Boy; Hey babe. You still mad? Girl; Twinkle Twinkle Little Star . . . Boy; How I wonder what you are? Girl; No, I'm gonna run you over with my f*cking car. Boy; Yeh, you're still mad . . . Girl; Run, b*tch.
Midnightx posted a quote
April 18, 2012 3:41pm UTC
Me: Marilyn Manson... Yeah... He rocks... Friend: Isn't he that perv you told me about? Me: Yeah... But his music... It rocks.... My socks Me: Friend: Me: So much my socks die... Cuz he rocked them so much... Friend: ... Me: Friend: Me: Friend: Me: Friend: Me: HE KILLED MY SOCKS! True Convo xD