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  1. never_forget never_forget
    posted a quote
    August 2, 2012 7:39pm UTC
    **When My Name's In A Math Problem**
    Class: *Stares At Me*
    Me: That's Right B*tches. I Bought 60 Watermelons.

  2. TheGirlWhoLived TheGirlWhoLived
    posted a quote
    August 2, 2012 1:24pm UTC
    Of course us gays dress well. We didn't spend all that time in the closet doing nothing.
    24 hours ago · comment · like
    402 people likes this

  3. MissyStar1965 MissyStar1965
    posted a quote
    July 20, 2012 6:05pm UTC
    to do list:
    1. Make vanilla ice cream. Put in mayo jar. Eat in public.
    2. Hire two private investigators. Get them to follow each other.
    3. Wear shirt that says 'Life'. Hand out lemons in a street corner.
    4. Get into a crowded elevator and say ' I bet you all are wondering why I have gathered you here today'.
    5. Major in philosophy. Ask people WHY they want fries with that.
    6. Run into a store. Ask what year it is. When someone answers, yell 'It worked!' and run out cheering.
    7. Become a doctor. Change last name to Acula.
    8. Change name to Simon. Speak in 3rd person.
    9. Buy a parrot. Teach the parrot to say 'Help. A evil wizard and witch turned me into a parrot!' reaptedly.
    10. Follow joggers around in your car blasting 'Eye of the Tiger' for encouragement.

  4. MsEmilyHoran MsEmilyHoran
    posted a quote
    July 20, 2012 3:24pm UTC
    There's 104 Days of Summer Vacation
    And school comes along just to end it
    So the annual problem, for our generation
    Is finding a good way to spend it.
    Like maybe...
    Eating some Rocket Pops
    Or tryin' to get money
    Rebloggin' bout the Eiffel Tower
    *da da dadada*
    Typin' in quotes that doesn't exist
    And rarely ever taking a shower
    *do do do doooo*
    Surfing the internet
    Creating a new blog
    Annoying facebook girls don't have brains
    "You're so annoying"
    Playin' Angry Birds
    Rebloggin' more monuments
    Directioners sure are insane
    As you can see there's a whole lot of stuff to do
    Before school starts next fall
    "Common' guys"
    So stick with us
    Cause the internet rules
    And you won't regret it at all
    So stick with us
    Cause you're addicted
    And you won't regret it at all
    "Honeyy! Get off your laptop"
    format by neversaynever16/ quote by MsEmilyHoran

  5. Zoraidaz Zoraidaz
    posted a quote
    July 20, 2012 4:54pm UTC
    How about, to prevent all this stupid hate,
    we actually read Witty's rules for once?

  6. hermione23katniss hermione23katniss
    posted a quote
    June 22, 2012 11:00am UTC
    News in Britain: Stamps have gone up 14 pence
    News in America: Cannibal eats man's face
    Britain: What?
    News in America: Man throws his own intestines at police
    News in Canada: Body parts mailed to government
    News in America: Women kills and eats 3 week old baby
    Britain: Uhh...
    News in Britain: Our butterfly population is still declining.

  7. joshkarder17 joshkarder17
    posted a quote
    June 19, 2012 11:58pm UTC
    Apparently 4,153,237 people got married last year. I'm no math wiz...but shouldn't that be an even number?

  8. confessions_of_a_cutter confessions_of_a_cutter
    posted a quote
    June 14, 2012 7:17pm UTC
    I find it kind of funny.
    I find it kind of sad.
    The dreams in which
    I'm dying are the best
    I've ever had.

  9. pleasespeaktomyface pleasespeaktomyface
    posted a quote
    June 6, 2012 3:38pm UTC
    I went outside once.
    The graphics aren't that good.

  10. BravoSierra BravoSierra
    posted a quote
    May 31, 2012 1:01pm UTC
    There are plenty of fish in the seabut I'm looking for my Nemo,
    so I'll take Dory's adviceand just keep swimming. ❤

  11. BravoSierra BravoSierra
    posted a quote
    May 25, 2012 3:11pm UTC
    Friend: On a scale of 1 to 10, how obsessed are you with Harry Potter?
    Me: Nine and three quarters.

  12. f4ilure f4ilure
    posted a quote
    May 24, 2012 1:58pm UTC

  13. BeKaHlYnN BeKaHlYnN
    posted a quote
    May 20, 2012 5:14pm UTC
    What to do before I die.
    If asked which child is yours while standing by a playground at the park, reply with, "I haven't decided yet..."
    Put blue Gatorade in a Windex bottle. Drink it in public.
    Go to IKEA. Hide in wardrobe. When someone opens wardrobe yell "FOR NARNIA!!!!!!!!"
    Change iPod name to "Titanic." Download new songs. Be amused by the fact that the Titanic is syncing.
    Put sign on door that reads "Dumble."
    Dress up in a chicken costume. Cross the street.
    Change name to Frank. Start every sentence with "I'm going to be Frank..."
    Steal friend's phone. Change your contact name to "Nature." Call friend.
    Buy a turtle. Name it "The Speed of Light." Tell everyone that I can run faster than "The Speed of Light."
    Go to Burger King and order a Big Mac. Insist on having it "your way."
    Never say stop when the people at Olive Garden grate cheese over your meal.
    Find out if woodchucks can chuck wood
    Buy angry birds stuffed animals. Walk around town throwing them at people.
    Go into a bank wearing a ski mask. Complete a normal transaction. Leave as if nothing is wrong.
    Find a bruised apple on the shelf. Give it a soft hug and whisper, "Who did this to you?"
    Go trick-or-treating on April 1st
    Find fat lady. Ask her to sing

  14. completeinhim completeinhim
    posted a quote
    May 13, 2012 4:56pm UTC
    *My mom on Mother's Day*
    Mom: Hey honey could you get me a glass of water?
    Mom: And make me lunch?
    Mom: You made me a card right?
    Mom: Where's my present?
    Mom: This is MY day!
    Mom: You are my servants.
    Mom: I am master, you are slave.
    Mom: Can I borrow seven thousand dollars?
    Mom: Oh and go ten miles to get me a bottle of coke please,
    this one's flat.
    Me: Okay, anything you want. This is your day!
    *My mom on my birthday*
    Me: Hey beautiful mother, would you mind kindly turning on the ligh -
    (I mean no disrespect - I love my Mom!)

  15. sydneyjrw sydneyjrw
    posted a quote
    May 13, 2012 1:28pm UTC
    You realize your childhood is
    over when you fall asleep on the
    and wake UP ON THE COUCH.
    format by sandrasaurus

  16. swagginitup96 swagginitup96
    posted a quote
    May 13, 2012 12:36pm UTC
    Boy; Hey babe. You still mad?
    Girl; Twinkle Twinkle Little Star . . .
    Boy; How I wonder what you are?
    Girl; No, I'm gonna run you over with my f*cking car.
    Boy; Yeh, you're still mad . . .
    Girl; Run, b*tch.

  17. ThreeFalls2Fate ThreeFalls2Fate
    posted a quote
    May 13, 2012 12:37pm UTC
    I can do this.
    Format by twilightgirl995

  18. memall7 memall7
    posted a quote
    May 12, 2012 3:22pm UTC
    the one you can get mad at only for a short period because you have important stuff to tell them

  19. AmeliaSparkles AmeliaSparkles
    posted a quote
    April 26, 2012 1:08pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  20. Midnightx Midnightx
    posted a quote
    April 18, 2012 3:41pm UTC
    Me: Marilyn Manson... Yeah... He rocks...
    Friend: Isn't he that perv you told me about?
    Me: Yeah... But his music... It rocks.... My socks
    Me: So much my socks die... Cuz he rocked them so much...
    Friend: ...
    True Convo xD


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