i cant tell him this, but i need to let this out...
Dear guy who broke my heart,
i need to get this off my chest, i've been holding this in for too long. 2 weeks and we would of been talking for one year, one year is a long time! i never got so attached over a guy before. you have changed me so much. but all the lies, all the time you broke my heart, i guess it's finally time you let go. you said all i wanted from you was a relationship, but that wasnt true, all i wanted from you is for you to be all mine, no one else's. i wanted to be able to trust you, know that the girls you talk to are only your friends, and you only want me.. all i wanted was you. i know, in a few years from now, you will barely remember me, i will just be a girl you talked to and nothing special and that scares me so much. because you will always have your place in my heart. i will never forget how shy i was when i had my first kiss with you, or the time you called me just so you could tell me for the first time you loved me then you hung up, or 4th of july, i was yelling at you when the fireworks were going off and you kissed me in the middle of my sentence, or the first time you came over and how awkward it was in the beginning but we started cuddling and tickling each other and i got comfortable with you. we spent the first 4 days of summer together.. or how you broke my quad because you ran into the tree going really fast so you're sub wouldnt get cold that you ordered. how i rode my quad to your house in the pouring rain on your birthday. you kissing me upside down when i was sitting in a chair, your kisses on my forehead, my cheek, or my hand when he are holding hands. i loved cuddling with you so much. you always listened to my problems, i never trusted anyone about my life until you came along. i was always so embarressed to tell anyone about it. remember how we went like a month or so without even fighting about anything... you hurt me a lot but i will never forget the way you made me feel. i may never kiss or hug you again but i will never forget how amazing each of them were, i may deleted the texts for you, but i will never forget what we said to each other, i may never hear your voice again, but i will never forget how you talk. you may not believe it, but i do love you josh. i begged for you to break up with victoria, remember that? please, just dont forget about me, because i will never forget about you. i made you my everything, i still have your hoodie hanging up on my door, i dont wanna start a conversation with you to tell you that and i honestly still want it. god i need to get over you. everyone told me to stop talking to you, but i wanted to believe you would change. that you would one day realize, you dont need any other girl only me. but you will never realize that, i know this. you asked if we could be friends but honestly i cant do that, because if i talk to you, i will tell you i still want you, and i will just end up getting turned down. you have a new girl now. you can see and kiss her everyday, i love you, i just want you to be happy and if you are happier with her than i guess this is just how it has to be. you will always be my first kiss, my first love, and my first real heartbreak. i can't even listen to perfect two without my heart dropping and my eyes filling up with tears. i wish the best for you.
Love always,
Crysta.
Crystaissosharpe