incompetent*

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incompetent*

Status: i'm no longer your little dad, girl

Member Since: 24 Dec 2012 03:19pm

Last Seen: 17 May 2015 10:09am

Gender: F

user id: 343196

40 Quotes
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53 Followers
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Hello.

i'm kyla, ur ~~pretty average teen~~ screw that, my life is far from normal. i'm filipino by blood, british by nature, i like ranting
about things and wearing my oxford university hoodie in which i wear promptly every damn thursday [cause on wednesdays, we wear pink].
flappy bird has taken over mylife. [since 02/02/2014] i absolutely hate tea. + coffee hot chocolate is the best omf.

u can subscribe to my youtube channel here
8tracks: clicky

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - follow me on 8tracks. please?
l a y o u t

lyt credit

incompetent*
posted a quote
June 1, 2014 2:22am UTC

the people who like say ‘1 second has passed’ when ur like ‘just give me a sec’ are the people u need to avoid and sacrifice to the aztec gods

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 12 points

incompetent*
posted a quote
March 3, 2014 12:09am UTC

do you ever just stop and stare
at long a.ss quotes and have a debate on whether you should read it or not and then have your final conclusion to be "nah, the effort."
#wittyproblems

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points

incompetent*
posted a quote
February 21, 2014 7:38am UTC

imagine if miley cyrus just out of nowhere
rips off her blonde hair becuase it was a wig and shout "TRICKED YA!" and then do the hoedown throwdown on live tv.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 23 points

incompetent*
posted a quote
February 8, 2014 5:50am UTC

my friend texted me saying;
friend: currently watching frozen, hans is so cuuuute. hope him and anna gets married soon!
45 minutes later...
friend: wrong wrong wrong never have i been more wrong

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 14 points

incompetent*
posted a quote
February 8, 2014 5:30am UTC

i think the most bittersweet thing
ever is a warm toilet seat. I mean, for a split second it’s like, “Heck yeah, toilet seats are usually cold and terrible” until a harrowing realization sets in:
This is some stranger’s butt warmth

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 12 points

incompetent*
posted a quote
February 7, 2014 12:43pm UTC

me: im deleting all the negativity out of my life
me: *deletes flappy bird*

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points

incompetent*
posted a quote
February 7, 2014 12:39pm UTC

as a serial killer my name would be
the suspense so my victims would be like “oh no, the suspense is killing me” and we would both laugh right before i killed them

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points

incompetent*
posted a quote
February 7, 2014 12:26pm UTC

I want a cactus in a cute little pot
and I’ll name it after you because you’re a f/cking pri/ck.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points

incompetent*
posted a quote
February 7, 2014 12:06pm UTC

I like to think I’m a bada.ss,
but then I remember that I have to ask my mom to kill spiders for me.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points

incompetent*
posted a quote
February 7, 2014 12:02pm UTC

"look, i asked for a resume,
this is just a printed screenshot of your flappybird highscore wait..what the f.ck. how did you get over 10. youre hired"

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points

incompetent*
posted a quote
February 7, 2014 1:27am UTC

remember when people said smexy instead of sexy i literally cannot think of anything less sexy than the word smexy

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points

incompetent*
posted a quote
February 6, 2014 2:39pm UTC

guide to flirting: carve your number into a potato and roll it towards eligible females you wish to court with

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points

incompetent*
posted a quote
February 2, 2014 3:50am UTC

looks at item: yooooooo
looks at price: nooooooo

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 46 points

incompetent*
posted a quote
January 3, 2014 8:43am UTC

i want my child to have a unique, interesting name but then again, they would hate me because their names aren't on souvenirs do you see my problem

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 38 points

incompetent*
posted a quote
January 2, 2014 5:35pm UTC

me: you annoy me
me:
me:
me: go play in traffic

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points

incompetent*
posted a quote
January 2, 2014 9:09am UTC

so this girl said, “i'm hungry” and i said, “hi hungry, i'm dad.” then she gave me this really odd look and seemed sorta creeped out. it was in this moment that i realized that in order to tell a dad joke, you should not only be a dad, but also be the dad of the person you are telling the joke to. i am neither.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 14 points

incompetent*
posted a quote
January 2, 2014 7:46am UTC

me: you don't want to date me...
me: *chuckles*
me: *slides money across the table*
me: how about now

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 51 points

incompetent*
posted a quote
January 1, 2014 7:52pm UTC

me: ah yes, i feel like i've done well on that test
some student: *gets higher grade than me*
me: i'm sorry, did i give you permission to rain on my parade?

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 27 points

incompetent*
posted a quote
January 1, 2014 3:49pm UTC

i wanna be that one girl who looks really cute but also gives off the vibe that she could snap your neck if you disrespect her like is that possible for me

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 48 points

incompetent*
posted a quote
January 1, 2014 12:40pm UTC

"new year new me" i say as i overtake the body of my next host

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 24 points