ConfessionsOfACutter

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Member Since: 11 Nov 2011 08:04pm

Last Seen: 30 Jun 2012 12:48am

user id: 237177

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My name is Keely. I am fourteen years old. I blow candles out on November 10. I am in a happy relationship with my boyfriend Jamison, & my friend for 8 or 9 months. ♥ . Music is my life. I have had a tough past, I am trying to get over it. I just want people to accept me for who I am. I rather have people judge me for my now and not my past. I am an ex-cutter. I am bisexual. Christian. I live in the USA. I am a natural blonde. I am not the prettiest girl ever, I do make mistakes a lot.

NevershoutNever.
All Time Low.
Sixx: A.M.
Escape The Fate.
A Day To Remember.
He Is We.
Multifandom.
Rise Against.
Snow Patrol.
Coldplay.
The Script.
My all time favorite though
is
Bring Me The Horizon

Status: Happy. Get to see him tomorrow!

ConfessionsOfACutter
posted a quote
May 18, 2012 7:02pm UTC

Cutting is my escape from Life.

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ConfessionsOfACutter
posted a quote
May 14, 2012 5:31pm UTC

My best friend bosted my mood.
I have known her all my life.
Literally.
When we were younger we rode the same bus,
We used to always play Bratz on the bus,
until I had to get off.
We used to laugh at one of our friends' names,
Ocean. And she would always get mad
at me because I would never let her play Bratz with us.
Then me and Zion weren't friends, then we were, it has
always been back and fourth with us.
But this year, we became best friends again.
And after Austin broke up with me, and I told her,
She looked surprised and asked why
So I told her.
and today she told me that he needs to stop being stupid and come to
Church to talk to me.
And she told me I could be myself around her
and that she trusts me.
Zion is my best friend ever (:
Since I was a little kid (:

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ConfessionsOfACutter
posted a quote
May 13, 2012 5:58pm UTC

I want to self-harm again.
For so many different reasons.
But how would I cover up all the
cuts from my family and friends?
I want to feel again.
That was the only thing that made
me feel alive.

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ConfessionsOfACutter
posted a quote
May 13, 2012 9:58am UTC

So yesterday at Kings Island
my best friend Tyler made me ride
The Flight of Fear. He made me wait
2 hours just to ride it.
He told me it didn't go upside down,
Because he knows how much I hate those rides.
When we got on, it went upside down.
So after we were off I yelled at him.
We then went on White River Rafting.
Tyler & I got SOAKED.
And our friends,
Peyton and Aiden
didn't.
They are lucky.
<3
Kings Island Rocked! (:

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ConfessionsOfACutter
posted a quote
May 10, 2012 9:36pm UTC

So, I'm not as sad as I was yesterday.
(:
But he didn't come to church.
So I talked to his brother.
He kept winking at me.. it was funny.
Austin didn't come, but yet he wanted to talk to me.
Kay... shows me how much you really wanted to talk.
I don't even think he trusted me. I don't think he will.
and I can't be in a relationship with someone if they
don't trust me.
Just saying.
Bye c:
Goodnight.
Just had to vent.

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ConfessionsOfACutter
posted a quote
May 9, 2012 9:03pm UTC

I wish I would just die in my sleep.

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ConfessionsOfACutter
posted a quote
May 9, 2012 8:59pm UTC

I will change

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ConfessionsOfACutter
posted a quote
May 9, 2012 8:29pm UTC

I hate when people tell me about my own boyfriend.
It's like, you don't know him.
I hate when he broke up with me and my friend said,
You were only with him for a month, chill.
It felt longer then a month.
It felt like a year to me.
I love him, I miss him too.
I wish I could just talk to him and tell him everything.
But I'm too weak.. I'm too scared.

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ConfessionsOfACutter
posted a quote
May 9, 2012 8:23pm UTC

I wish a car would hit me.
Or that someone would go by and shoot me.
I wish I fell on to a knife.
I wish I would die.
No, this isn't just about my boyfriend breaking up with me.
It's because of him, bullies, school, friends,
ex friends, exs, me, and my family.

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ConfessionsOfACutter
posted a quote
May 9, 2012 7:37pm UTC

I wish I had a friend that lived near me,
so when I'm sad I could go to his or her house,
and them just hug me until I'm done crying.
For me to be able to always go to their house and just be welcomed.
But of course, everyone in my neighborhood hates me.

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ConfessionsOfACutter
posted a quote
May 9, 2012 7:35pm UTC

I now hate the word love

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ConfessionsOfACutter
posted a quote
May 9, 2012 7:31pm UTC

Welcome back Insecure thoughts,
Hatred towards myself,
negative thoughts.
Welcome back all the old habbits..
<|3
I haven't really missed you..
But I guess you are back in my life..
So I will just adjust to you like I used to.

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ConfessionsOfACutter
posted a quote
May 9, 2012 7:08pm UTC

I know it's my fault.
I'm not blaming you.
But I wish you could see
that you did make me happy.
That you are the only one I want.
I don't want Logan, or Bradly, or Mitchell.
I WANT YOU.
I wish I could show you that.
I wish you could trust me enough to
believe me..
But I guess you can't.

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ConfessionsOfACutter
posted a quote
May 9, 2012 7:04pm UTC

My friend told me not to cut.
I told her okay.
Then I sent her a message saying:
I won't promise that I'm not going to hurt myself.
I just won't cut.
And that is the truth.
There is still burning.. with an eraser.
I have never tried that, but I will
tonight.

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ConfessionsOfACutter
posted a quote
May 9, 2012 7:00pm UTC

Maybe this is for the best.
Although I love you,
It may not be enough
to make you stay.
Clearly it isn't..
I am broken, and I don't
think I can be fixed.
This is the last time I will be hurt by anyone.
I am done with this pain.
If we got back together,
we both know it wouldn't be the same..
Nothing would.
It would all be different.
I just want to cry, and cry.
I feel like there is nothing left.
I lost everything already..
Maybe this is God telling me I'm not good
enough for anyone.
I wish I could prove to you
that I love you..
But I can't.
I wish I could turn back the time,
and take back all the things I did..
But it's impossible..
Tonight I will cry myself to sleep..

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ConfessionsOfACutter
posted a quote
May 9, 2012 6:54pm UTC

I hate myself.. why did i do what i did? im stupid. i want him back, i just dont know how.. i love him..
just wish he could see.. i want him to be with me and for me to be in his arms..

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ConfessionsOfACutter
posted a quote
May 9, 2012 6:45pm UTC

He broke up with me.
Because I was venting about my ex.. ONE QUOTE.
He broke my heart..
he has no idea how much i wanted to be with him..
I am just a screw up..

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ConfessionsOfACutter
posted a quote
May 9, 2012 5:14pm UTC

I don't want to go to Church tomorrow..
I don't want to face seeing him..
I feel like he broke up with me.. not physically..
but mentally..
I feel like I'm not even the same girl I was 1 week ago..
I'm losing the girl I am.. the girl I want to be..
I won't be able to look you in the eyes and tell you that I am fine
with not talking to everyone I used to..
I don't want to be the girlfriend that can't be completely
honest.. maybe I'm just not girlfriend material....
<|3

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ConfessionsOfACutter
posted a quote
May 9, 2012 5:11pm UTC

You love me but you don't know who I am.
So let me go..
<|3

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ConfessionsOfACutter
posted a quote
May 9, 2012 4:56pm UTC

I feel like no matter what I do, I'm still losing you.
I feel like you can't trust me..
I completely lost all my guy friends. And I even hurt some of them..
But is that really enough to make you stay? Is it enough to make you still feel
the same way towards me as I feel to you?
I may as well give up.. is holding on to hope really worth all this loss?
In a way it is, but in a way it's not.. I'm hurting everyone I care about..
Everyone that cares about me..
But that doesn't matter.. not anymore.

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