Kinda long, but I just to need get this out.
So there's this guy... (how typical I know) and I love him. I love everything about him. I
love his face. I love his voice. I love our conversations, even when they get awkward.
I'm just happy to be talking to him. I feel complete whenever we are together. But the
thing is, the cycle of our relationship is: Strangers. Friends. More than friends. Repeat.
It kills me that one day things can be going oh-so perfect and dandy, but the next day we
will just stop speaking to each other. He'll get bored with me and make up some stupid
excuse week, even months later why we haven't talked in such a long time and I just take it. I
can't even count how many times this has happened, but the things that gets me every time
is how I let it happen. During the time we stop speaking to each other, I break down and cry
myself to sleep every night. Then there will eventually come a night when I'm out of tears, but
not out of emotion and I tell myself I just can't keep living like this anymore and over weeks
and months I don't totally and completely get over him, but I learn to live without him and he's
not the first thought in my head when I wake up anymore and things just slowly start getting
better in my life all around. That's when it happens. It's like he knows I stop thinking about
him and that's when he decides it's a great idea to pop into my life again and then everything
goes down-hill from there. I take him back. Every. Single. Time. My head tells me to ignore
him and give him a taste of his own medicine, but my heart tells me maybe this time it won't
happen. Maybe this time he'll stay. Maybe this time there won't be tears. Maybe this time it will
be different. The point of this vent is that this cycle has repeated itself again and I needed
to get this out, it's just been burdening me alot and I need help. Please. Someone. Anyone.
Help me out. I need some advice and moral support. I don't know what to do anymore. To
anyone who read this entire thing, I am eternally grateful to you and I love you all so much!!
♥
CaliGirlSwag