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Member Since: 17 Nov 2011 08:17pm

Last Seen: 23 Sep 2021 12:29am

user id: 239811

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I'm just me..... A girl whose trapped in the crazy world who wants to break free.. If you ever need me im here to talk.....
  1. ButterflyCourtney ButterflyCourtney
    posted a quote
    September 23, 2021 12:32am UTC
    I was going through my passwords and updating them on the new IOS 15 and I found my password for witty. SO much has changed. I have battled addiction, I have gotten diagnosed, I have spent time in a psych ward. But that little girl who was screaming for help years ago finally got it. She got saved.

  2. ButterflyCourtney ButterflyCourtney
    posted a quote
    October 8, 2016 11:03pm UTC
    It has a name, the thing that has ruined my life for years. Its called borderline personality disorder and it explains so much. Ive never been more releaved or scared

  3. ButterflyCourtney ButterflyCourtney
    posted a quote
    May 11, 2016 12:42pm UTC
    I miss you so much it hurts.

  4. ButterflyCourtney ButterflyCourtney
    posted a quote
    April 1, 2016 7:50pm UTC
    You were murdered..... and now... now I don't know what to do.... I'm afraid. I'm afraid of going back to old habits. You were the major reason I quit using and smoking... and now I feel lost.... and it hurts... It hurts knowing your son will never know you and that your wife will raise him as a single mother.... I am angry sooo angry. But thankful for every moment you got on Earth. Thankful for everything you did and said... Thankful for knowing you and sorry that things were left unsiad.

  5. ButterflyCourtney ButterflyCourtney
    posted a quote
    April 4, 2015 9:07pm UTC
    My anxiety is at an all time high and its really uncomfortable

  6. ButterflyCourtney ButterflyCourtney
    posted a quote
    February 25, 2015 8:50am UTC
    click to see this quote

  7. ButterflyCourtney ButterflyCourtney
    posted a quote
    January 4, 2015 11:54pm UTC
    I had the opportunity to go inside a jail with my school. I took it. The expericne was suppose to show us what would happen if we messed up and got into trouble and showed us what the inmates went through. Instead of scaring me, it comforted me in a sick way. I felt at home there. I could be arrested tomorrow and I wouldnt care... Is that sad or what?

  8. ButterflyCourtney ButterflyCourtney
    posted a quote
    October 26, 2014 12:26am UTC
    if i could id take that smile and inject it directly into my blood stream. my parents warmed me about drugs in baggies sold on the street but never the ones with teeth and a heartbeat.

  9. ButterflyCourtney ButterflyCourtney
    posted a quote
    October 16, 2014 10:15pm UTC
    Yes I am 17 years old. And yes I am terrified of dogs. and NO I didn't choose to wake up one day and become absolutely terrified of them. And yes it really hurts when you make fun of me, mock me, call me names and yes film me when I am having my little freak outs. Of all people I am totally aware my fear may seem childish to you and I'm sorry. And you may be thinking but Courtney don't you have a dog? Yes my family has a dog. And yes I can be around her for the most part with no problem, but it hasn't always been this way. When we first got here I SCREAMED every time she barked (I still scream if she catches me off guard). If she jumped I ran the other way. And I couldn't be left alone with her. To this day the longest I ever ever been alone with her is 15 minutes and yes I'm aware it's not that long. And this is all I really feel comfortable with right now. I love my dog to death and if she can't help it she scares me. She melts my heart with her beautiful eyes and I'd do anything for her. But when she dose certain things she scares me. YES I know some bozo out there is like "well um you aren't really afraid of dogs if you own one" Correction people have different variations of fears. I can be around a select few of dogs and be fine but then when I'm around others I'm not so fine. I can't explain why it's just the way it is. I know some of you are asking yourself why I'm putting this out there in the internet. Well 1: If I can help someone and let them know they aren't alone then it's totally worth it. I know what it feels like to feel alone 2: IM SO SICK AND TIRED of being looked down upon and mocked and ridiculed for my fear. (Especially by certain family members) I would do ANYTHING to change it but I can't. If you have actually read all this thank you :) something pushed me over the edge today and I just needed to let it all go.

  10. ButterflyCourtney ButterflyCourtney
    posted a quote
    September 16, 2014 9:11pm UTC
    Cuanto tiempo tardara¿O no es para todos? ¿Por qué de mí se esconderá?¿Dónde está?Quiero amar y sin pensar entregarlo todoQuiero que mi corazón intercambie su lugar con el de alguien especialQuiero despertar, te quiero encontrar y me quiero enamorar

  11. ButterflyCourtney ButterflyCourtney
    posted a quote
    September 8, 2014 8:57pm UTC
    Quiero ya no amarte y enterrar este dolorQuiero que mi corazón te olvideQuiero ser como tú, quiero ser yo la fuerteSolo te he pedido a cambio tu sinceridadQuiero que el amor al fin conteste¿Por qué siempre soy yo la de la mala suerte?- Le de la Mala Suerte

  12. ButterflyCourtney ButterflyCourtney
    posted a quote
    September 7, 2014 9:49pm UTC
    I'll be 18 in 339 days..... The thought of this scares the crap out of me. When I turn 18 I no longer have to stay here. The next time my parents make me mad I can and will leave. I don't have to come home any more. I dont have to go to school. I will no longer have someone screaming orders. I'll have to take care of myself... I've wished for this day to come for so long but now that's it's near I want to reverse time...

  13. ButterflyCourtney ButterflyCourtney
    posted a quote
    September 4, 2014 10:29pm UTC
    All my friends have boyfriends and Im just sitting here like I have Netflix and food

  14. ButterflyCourtney ButterflyCourtney
    posted a quote
    July 28, 2014 9:44pm UTC
    5 Truths Quiz
    1. Last beverage= Coke Zero Vanilla
    2. Last Phone call= my father
    3. Last Text Message: my mother
    4. Last Song You Listened To: Love Life by natalie taylor
    5. Last time I cried: today
    6. Dated Somone Twice: yes
    8. Lost Someone Special: yes
    9. Kissed Somone and Regreted It:.......
    10. Been Depressed= yep
    11. Height= i have no clue
    12. pink
    13. black
    14. grey
    15. Made a New Best Friend: Yes
    16. Fallen In Love: yes
    17. Slept With Someone New: nope
    18. Met Someone Who Changed You: Yes
    19. Found out who you true friends are: yes
    20. Found out someone was talking about you: that happens like everyday
    21. Kissed anyone on my friends list: No
    22. How many people on your friends list do you actually see in real life: here none
    23. How many kids do you want to have: idk...
    24. Do you have any pets?: yes
    25. Do you want to change your name: nope
    26. What did you do for your last birthday: nothing at all
    27. What time did you wake up today= 4 am
    28. What were you doing at midnight last night: Youtube :)
    29. Name something you can not wait for: to go back to Anna Maria Island and for my cousins boyfriends band tour this fall
    30. Last time you saw your mother= 2 hours ago
    31. What is one thing you wish you could change about yourself: theres alot
    32. What are you listening to right now= nothing, except the sound my keyboard makes when I type
    33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yep
    34. Whats getting on your nerves right now= Life...
    35. Most visted webpage= Youtube
    36. Whats your Name= Courtney
    37. Nicknames?= my grandpa called me the pepsi girl since he thought i looked like the girl in the pepsi commercials..... link here if you have no clue as to what im talking about http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3C1I-IrOgyg
    38. Relationship Status= Single
    39. Male/Female= female
    40. Primary school= NES
    41. Middle school= NMS
    42. Highschool: NHS
    43. Hair color= brown
    44. Long or short= long
    45. Perfume= Tattoed by Inky, its 4 bucks at any dollar store
    47. What do you like bout yourself=...
    48. Piercings= ears
    49. Tattoos= i wish
    50. Righty or Lefty= both
    51. First Surgery= ears (i'll explain of you are interested)
    52. First Piercing= ears
    53. First best friend= idfk
    54. First sport you joined= I dont play sports
    55.First Vacation= Christmas on the beach with my grandarents in 1st grade
    56. Eating= just ate a snicker
    57. Drinking= water
    58.I'm about to: go to youtube
    59. Listening to: the keyboard clicks
    60. Waiting for= a miracle
    61. Want Kids= yes
    62. Want to get married= sure
    63. Career = i habe no clue yet
    64. Lips or Eyes= Eyes
    65. Hugs or Kisses= Both
    66. Shorter or Taller= Taller
    67. Older or younger: both
    69. Smart or good face= Both
    70. Sensitive or loud= sensitive
    71. Hook - up or relationship= Relationship
    72. Trouble maker or Hesitant= both
    73. Kissed a stranger= No
    74. Drank hard liquor= Yes
    75. Lost glasses or Contacts= no
    76. Done "IT" on first date= No
    77. Broken someones heart= probably
    78. Had your own heart broken= Once
    79. Been Arrested= almost
    80. Turned someone down= nope
    81. Cried when someone had died=Yes
    82. Fallen for a friend= Yes
    83. Yourself= uh..
    84. Love at first sight= ha
    85. Heaven= Yep
    86.Santa= totally, i saw my mom kiss him under our tree last year ;)
    87. Kiss on First date= if theres a connection sure
    88. Angels= Yes
    89. Had more than one Girlfriend/ Boyfriend at a time=No
    90. Did you sing today= yep to my cat
    91. Ever cheated on somone= Never
    92. If you could go back in time how far would you go= i dont know 93. If you could pick one day to relive what would it be: anyday at the beach
    94. Do you have one certian regret that you wish you could change: yes
    95. Did you like this survey= it was stupid

  15. ButterflyCourtney ButterflyCourtney
    posted a quote
    July 28, 2014 9:12pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  16. ButterflyCourtney ButterflyCourtney
    posted a quote
    July 28, 2014 8:39pm UTC
    [A]vailable: yes
    [B]irthday: August 13th
    [C]rush: shhh I'm not telling :)
    [D]rink you last had: Razzleberry Peace Tea
    [E]asiest person to talk to: myself,that way noone can go behind my back and talk crap about me or tell my secrets
    [F]avorite genre of music: Don't have one
    [G]ummy bears or gummy worms: both :)
    [H]ad your first kiss: ..........
    [I]nstrument: Piano (and trust me I am horrible at it)
    [J]uice: Apple
    [K]illed someone: Not yet [L]ongest trip: 14 hours by plane Indy to Sarasota Bradenton and then a lot of driving
    [M]ilkshake flavor: cookies and cream
    [N]umber of siblings: 1 biological and 1 that my parents took in for a while until he got in a lot of trouble
    [O]ne wish: To be accepted by my family
    [P]erson who holds the best memories with you: My grandma (I know its cheesy)
    [Q]uiet or loud: quiet unless you make me mad
    [R]easons to smile: the beach aka my home
    [S]ong: We The Kings Somewhere Somehow Album ( I got to meet three of the band members last month at Warped) And The Ready Sets The Bad and The Better Album
    [T]ime you woke up: 11
    [U]mbrella: my cat umbrella that my grandparents bought me
    [V]egetable: Indiana Sweet Corn
    [W]arm at the moment:yes
    [X]-rays you've had: too many to list
    [Y]our favorite animal: cat♥
    [Z]odiac sign: Leo

  17. ButterflyCourtney ButterflyCourtney
    posted a quote
    July 27, 2014 5:50pm UTC
    Dear Parents,Forcing your child to face their fears before they are ready to does more harm than good. It also really makes your child dislike you. Sincerely,Your anxiety ridden child who is now terrified to leave her room

  18. ButterflyCourtney ButterflyCourtney
    posted a quote
    April 29, 2014 8:36pm UTC
    i dont want to admit this is happening. i miss you all ready. i wish i could of said goodbye. i wish you would of been in my life more. i wish your wife wasnt a b##ch. i wish she was taught not to tell lies about people. i wish so many things. i miss you more than you will EVER know. Fly with the angels grandpa. And NEVER EVER forget that i love you.

  19. ButterflyCourtney ButterflyCourtney
    posted a quote
    April 12, 2014 11:22pm UTC
    I am so anxious right now and i have no clue why. And it really sucks

  20. ButterflyCourtney ButterflyCourtney
    posted a quote
    April 1, 2014 1:13pm UTC
    You say you lobe the rain, but you use an umbrella to walk under it. You say you love the sun, but you seek shade when it is shining. You say you love the wind, but when it comes you close your window. So that's why I'm scared when you say you love me.
    - Bob Marley


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