"i am vertical" but i would rather be horizontal i am not a tree with my root in the soil sucking up minerals and motherly love so that each march i may gleam into leaf, nor am i the beauty of a garden bed attracting my share of ahs and spectacularly painted, unknowing I must soon unpetal. compared with me, a tree is immortal and a flower-head not tall, but more startling, and i want the one's longevity and the other's daring. tonight, in the infinitesimal light of the stars, the trees and the flowers have been strewing their cool odors. i walk among them, but none of them are noticing. sometimes i think that when i am sleeping i must most perfectly resemble them -- thoughts gone dim. it is more natural to me, lying down. then the sky and i are in open conversation, and i shall be useful when i lie down finally: then the trees may touch me for once, and the flowers have time for me. (s.p)
Do you ever just feel like you’re just completely worthless and unattractive on a physical and emotional level and you’re just never good enough because there’s always someone else that overpowers you with their pretty face and personality and you just instantly back down because you feel you have literally nothing to fight against with?
"paranoia" i get paranoid sometimes and i'm convinced everyone hates me my therapist says i have social anxiety but i think i'm just smart enough to know that the face of human nature is so horrifyingly ugly
i worry (a lot) when i think (of other girls) about how they (shine) sparkle and radiate beauty and about how i could be (brighter) (and) nothing hurts worse than thinking about not being with (you) my love, my heart because i know you (deserve the) best you are my (sun), moon, and stars -m.k.
IV. There is a certain kind of girl who reads Lolita at fourteen and finds religion. I painted my eyes black and sucked barroom cherries to red my tongue. There was a boy who promised Judas really did love Jesus. I learned early every kiss and betrayal are up for interpretation.
I am pieces of quotes from my favorite books stitched together by song lyrics and I am glued together by midnight conversations and the sweet taste of coffee and I have this tendency to fall apart suddenly and I need you to somehow be okay with this because I am created by the souls who are brave enough to gather all my tattered pieces and put them back together and oh, God, how I would love to be whole again.
"disappear" when i say that i hate myself i don't want you to say that i am beautiful and great. i know that i am not any of that i am me and that is the problem. i am going to be me until the day i die which i do hope is soon and if it works, i'm so sorry that i couldn't stay and that i couldn't have been any happier believe me, i tried so hard to be strong but i fear i can't keep this lie up anymore i am so, so sorry but i just want to die. please let me.
what you need to know about me. I blush a lot. Regardless of who I'm talking to. I often struggle to finish my sentences, but please bear with me, because I'm really trying. I will fidget, tap, and crack my knuckles. I probably will not look you in the eye. Please don't take this personally. I will smile and laugh a lot, because I am nervous.