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BerthaZ

  1. BerthaZ BerthaZ
    posted a quote
    November 25, 2012 11:26am UTC
    How normal people flirt:
    Hey sexy, what you doing tonight?
    How I flirt:
    If you were a potato you would be a
    nice potato.

  2. BerthaZ BerthaZ
    posted a quote
    November 24, 2012 6:58pm UTC
    today i entered witty and i saw 23 notifications,
    so i was very happy. but then i checked again
    and i saw 236 notifications.
    I love you guys!!

  3. BerthaZ BerthaZ
    posted a quote
    November 23, 2012 8:01pm UTC
    I try to sleep early but my ADHD kicks in so...
    one sheep, two sheep, pig, cow, old mcdonald,
    hey macarena!

  4. BerthaZ BerthaZ
    posted a quote
    November 23, 2012 4:56pm UTC
    People talk about how steping on a lego is the worst
    pain in the world, but i know worse.... hitting your ankle
    with a razor scooter.

  5. BerthaZ BerthaZ
    posted a quote
    November 22, 2012 11:43am UTC
    Black Friday.
    Because only in America were people trample
    others for sales exactly one day after being thankful
    for what they already have.

  6. BerthaZ BerthaZ
    posted a quote
    November 22, 2012 11:36am UTC
    Some people need a high five,
    in the face,
    with a brick,
    and a chair.

  7. BerthaZ BerthaZ
    posted a quote
    November 22, 2012 11:30am UTC
    Docter: Ok, whats wrong , how are you
    feeling?
    Me: * stares at mom akwardly wait for her
    to explain*

  8. BerthaZ BerthaZ
    posted a quote
    November 22, 2012 11:26am UTC
    Girl: I'm ugly
    Boy: I'm pregant
    Girl: What!?!?!?
    Boy: Oh sorry, I thought we were saying
    thing that are imposible.

  9. BerthaZ BerthaZ
    posted a quote
    November 3, 2012 7:18pm UTC
    No i will not share my Ipod with you, thats
    why its called Ipod, not uspod

  10. BerthaZ BerthaZ
    posted a quote
    November 2, 2012 10:37pm UTC
    My ceiling fan has 3 settings:
    1. very slow
    2. slow
    3.im about to detach from the roof and kill you
    in a freak ceiling fan accident.

  11. BerthaZ BerthaZ
    posted a quote
    November 2, 2012 10:31pm UTC
    *Me listening to my brothers fight*
    Brother 1: Well, i have twice more friends than you
    Brother 2: Well, 2 times 0 = 0
    Brother 1:
    Brother 2: *walks away like a boss*

  12. BerthaZ BerthaZ
    posted a quote
    October 26, 2012 3:18pm UTC
    Perfect has seven letters and so does
    meeeeee... Coincidence? I think not.

  13. BerthaZ BerthaZ
    posted a quote
    October 26, 2012 3:02pm UTC
    To do list:
    1. Buy a turtle
    2. Name it "the speed of light"
    3. Be able to honestly say i can run faster than the speed of light

  14. BerthaZ BerthaZ
    posted a quote
    October 22, 2012 7:53pm UTC
    Once you hate someone everything they do is
    a offensive. "Look at her eating those crackers
    like she own the place."

  15. BerthaZ BerthaZ
    posted a quote
    October 22, 2012 7:48pm UTC
    Don't worry girls one day you will find a guy
    that will ruin your lipstick and not you mascara.

  16. BerthaZ BerthaZ
    posted a quote
    October 21, 2012 1:06pm UTC
    You Only Live Once.
    My cat disagrees.

  17. BerthaZ BerthaZ
    posted a quote
    October 21, 2012 1:00pm UTC
    When you here your own vocie on a recording and
    you think "Do I really sound like that?"

  18. BerthaZ BerthaZ
    posted a quote
    October 20, 2012 2:30pm UTC
    What my parents think i do when they are gone.
    Me: *calls all my friends* lets throw a party.
    What i really do.
    Me: Who likes cupcakes, I like cupcake.

  19. BerthaZ BerthaZ
    posted a quote
    October 20, 2012 2:23pm UTC
    That mini heart attack you have when you realized
    you tipped your chair back a little to far.

  20. BerthaZ BerthaZ
    posted a quote
    October 19, 2012 8:08pm UTC
    That akward moment when you look up from your phone and the
    person you've been following around the supermarket isn't your
    mom.

:)

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