I hate it when im upset and someone says, "people have it a lot worse than you, you should be happy your problems arent as serious as theirs." like.. no. first why would i be happy that they have worse problems? no. I wish i didnt have problems but i dont wish for anyone else to have it worse than me! and ya people have it worse. and those people know someone who has it worse. and u know i have it alot worse than some people. but just because someone has it better or worse then me doesnt change the fact that sh*t sucks.
Its funny, to see the things you say about her, after all this time. to see that you are mad because she left you. to see that you think she is a terrible person because she left you. to see that you are mad because she left when you needed her. but here I am, sitting baffled because you left me with no good reason when I needed you. but I dont think you are a bad person, because I understand that people leave. people move on. nothing is forever. and you sitting here being so angry with her is just making you bitter and cold and sad. but I am okay. because now seeing this, seeing how awful it makes you, hearing how you feel, I can move on too, because i wont be as stupid as you. I wont let you destroy me the way she destroyed you. I hope you move on soon Zach, she is never coming back, and thats okay, you are strong, you dont need her.
So my ex boyfriend walked in on me cutting my legs today. he asked me to stop and he picked me up and put me on the bed and kissed me and played with my hair and let me cry. and then later that day, he told his girlfriend i cut my self. now i am getting harrased about it from a girl i dont know, who doesnt understand that her boyfriend is a cheater and clearly an a**hole.
You wanted your file, I found you your file. You wanted out, I got you out. You needed money, I found you some. I'm f*cking consistent. I told you the truth.I didn't write it down in a f*cking book! I told you to your face. And I told *Daisy* to her face. what everybody knew and wouldn't say, and she killed herself. And I played the f*cking villain, just like you wanted.
Everyone wonders why I dont do my school work. I just tell them I dont feel like it or I dont care enough to do it. I dont care if I pass 9th grade, and Im not worried. But thats not true. I care. Im worried. Im so stressed out it is making me physically sick. Im terrified Im not going to get back into my old school, thats the only place I can actually concentrate on school. but here, I cant do it. I don't understand whats going on. I have a tutor for every class and im still failing. I'm not doing my work because everytime i do, I fail. I cant fail if I dont try. I dont want to feel stupid. so Its just easier for me to cope with it if I just dont do it. I know I shouldn't be running away from my problems, but im not ready to do anything else about it. Im sick of feeling stupid all the time. Im sick of hearing how everyone is so sad about having one or two C's when straight C's is my goal. I cant even get C's. I have D's and F's. and no one understands that when I try, I try really hard. But it still gets me no were, so Im sick of being dissapointed with my best. Id rather just have everyone else be dissapointed with my worst.
I have to get my tonsils out in about an hour. Im really scared. But by the time anyone reads this, I will already be in surgery (Its really early) I have to revocer for 3 weeks, Does anyone want to leave me a comment tellig me a story? It can be anything. It can be a sad, scary, funny, or happy one. You can tell me a story of yours, or tell me the story of your life. I will read and respond to every single one. I mean, what else am I gonna do for 3 weeks? ;) Thanks Wittians. <3 Love you all. Go leave a comment and I'll return the favor!
Do you remember the first time you held a boys hand? Remember how nervous you were, how your hands were clamy, and shaking. Remember how you got butterflys just when he nudged your hand.. Ya know how that feeling eventually goes away? Well, he makes me feel like that. I thought that feeling was gone forever, but with him, it comes back. It is the best feeling in the world. He makes my hand tremble..
My worst fear became a reality today. My mum saw the ugly marks on my arms. I made those when I was dumb enough to put them somewere visible.. "stupid, stupid girl" I kept telling myself. but my worst fear was not her seeing my scars, it was her not caring when she spotted them, not asking if i was okay. She didnt. "Whats that on your arm?" *Grabs wrist and flips over* " oh ya i thought i saw those earlier. " *puts arm down, and continues to tell her story about how her work day was today.*
So im sitting here, one person that you can garauntee wont ever leave you or cut you out of my life.. and you are begging for her back? the person that blames you. the girl who pushed you away, and said she has no time for you? Id hold you while you cry. id beat her a** to make you smile. but you dont want me to do that because you want her back. you say you need her because she is always there for you. but were is she now? she is gone. she left you for a boy who says he wants me. but were am I? by your side. You did nothing wrong. neither did I. so why are we both being punished for her stupid decisions?
you are beautiful, and perfect, and just the right size. you have an amazing personality and you are smart and clever and funny and all around gorgeous. you have no reason to hurt yourself. you should eat. you dont need to starve yourself or purge. you are amazing just how you are. -Says the girl who is anorexic, wishes she was someone else, has anxiety, cuts, burns, and has written far to many suicide notes. people are such hypocrites.