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  1. debauchery* debauchery*
    posted a quote
    December 18, 2017 8:42pm EST
    Please leave format credit to 1986!
    I was never young. This idea of fun: cars, girls, Saturday night, bottle of wine… to me, these things are morbid. I was always attracted to people with the same problems as me. It doesn’t help when most of them are dead.

  2. debauchery* debauchery*
    posted a quote
    December 18, 2017 8:32pm EST

  3. debauchery* debauchery*
    posted a quote
    December 18, 2017 8:17pm EST
    ...let my grief be dirty and jagged.

  4. debauchery* debauchery*
    posted a quote
    December 11, 2017 9:37pm EST

    Do not love half lovers
    Do not entertain half friends
    Do not indulge in works of the half talented
    Do not live half a life and do not die a half death
    If you choose silence, then be silent
    When you speak, do so until you are finished
    Do not silence yourself to say something
    And do not speak to be silent
    If you accept, then express it bluntly
    Do not mask it
    If you refuse then be clear about it
    for an ambiguous refusal
    is but a weak acceptance
    Do not accept half a solution
    Do not believe half truths
    Do not dream half a dream
    Do not fantasize about half hopes
    Half a drink will not quench your thirst
    Half a meal will not satiate your hunger
    Half the way will get you no where
    Half an idea will bear you no results
    Your other half is not the one you love
    It is you in another time yet in the same space
    It is you when you are not
    Half a life is a life you didn’t live,
    A word you have not said
    A smile you postponed
    A love you have not had
    A friendship you did not know
    To reach and not arrive
    Work and not work
    Attend only to be absent
    What makes you a stranger to them closest to you
    and they strangers to you
    The half is a mere moment of inability
    but you are able for you are not half a being
    You are a whole that exists
    to live a life not half a life.

  5. debauchery* debauchery*
    posted a quote
    December 11, 2017 9:22pm EST
    I will love you till the end of time,
    Promise you’ll remember that you’re mine,
    baby can you see through the tears?

  6. debauchery* debauchery*
    posted a quote
    December 11, 2017 8:40pm EST
    be walking trees. be talking beasts. be divine waters.

  7. debauchery* debauchery*
    posted a quote
    December 7, 2017 8:24pm EST
    congratulations, it’s a girl, says the doctor. congratulations, it’s a girl, and we have rose-tinted bubblegum-scented ultrasound gel for an extra 3 dollars. and the baby shower will have
    frosted balloons, and pink ribbons, and red cake for the blood that has not left the womb for nine months,
    red for life and for pain and for lipstick,
    and when the blood and the life leaves the womb it will be swaddled in soft femininity and it will feed on the teat of patriarchy. they will say you’re a sinner for letting her touch that toy truck, you’re a sinner for teaching her to defend herself, you’re a sinner for
    letting her leave the house like that, but all she knows now is how to
    gnaw on barbie’s head until it’s chewed and slimy with saliva. you don’t claim to be god but
    you won’t bind her hands with pages from the bible.
    and today it’s the second day of kindergarten. when a boy steals her unmellow yellow crayon it’s because he likes her,
    and tomorrow she passes through the freudian phallic stage without losing her sense of identity, and when she’s thirteen her dad’s friend slides his hand onto her thigh under the table
    keeps it there the entire dinner because he likes her, and she still
    can’t smell lasagna without gagging. when she’s sixteen she lets her friend’s brother kiss her
    because the boys at school call her pancake chest
    his tongue tastes like an ashtray limp and slimy in her mouth, and after she brushes her teeth three times she lies in her bed and cries. God, she says,
    God why am i here? and he says one day you will make a pen.is erect and you will know.
    the next day a suit on the subway undresses her with his empty eyes,
    so when the barista asks for 3.99, her number, and half of her soul she complies. splits it down the middle where the bone is and hands it over in exchange for
    a soy milk latte.
    by seventeen she is tired of lugging god’s most precious gift to
    school and work and back so she gives it to a boy in a walmart parking lot, cuts off her hair for good measure and
    now she knows. men keep her hair long for easy grip. so she goes home:
    how was your day/itwasfine i’m going out/not in that you’re not/whynot (she knows whynot) puts on a potato sack, packs a suitcase full of underwires and razor blades and tweezers
    throws it in the pond for when the fishes say mommy will i be pretty one day?
    but when the time comes for her to jump she changes her mind and gets on a greyhound bus
    to new york city, it is dark when she arrives but the streetlights
    float above her head like small suns and keep her warm. she walks past painted ladies with civilized but asymmetrical briefcases, walks past people eating each other’s faces in the shadows, walks until she arrives at the last flat building plugging the holes in the sky she enters the elevator and presses the top floor.
    by the time she gets to the 35th floor she has swallowed 35 advils, and when she reaches
    Not Heaven she has swallowed her tongue. it smells like old spice and clementines. the angels say don’t worry, we eat out of our collarbones here; try the clouds, they’re made out of windex and taste just like tacos; love is when you shoot smoke into your brain and it cooks your heart.
    she hates steak so she lets her nails grow to the floor and sacrifices herself to the newtonian universe
    lets gravity lower her back down to earth, to the middle of eighth avenue where suits walk around her until someone calls 911.
    the next thing she remembers is white ceiling tiles. the hush hush of voices next to her.
    doctors (nearly all her bones were shattered upon impact only god knows how she survived) mom (unintelligible)
    she learns to walk again, to talk again, to live again
    paints her eyelids with kohl to be beautiful for herself, to be strong for herself. uses judo on anyone who dares lay a hand on her. eats lasagna every wednesday night and loves it.
    congratulations, it’s a girl, they say, and she will have to heal.

  8. debauchery* debauchery*
    posted a quote
    December 7, 2017 7:34pm EST
    as someone
    –Bob Dylan on how he would like to be REMEMBERED

  9. debauchery* debauchery*
    posted a quote
    December 3, 2017 4:57pm EST
    don’t lose who you are
    in the blur of the stars.
    seeing is deceiving,
    dreaming is believing,
    it’s okay not to be okay.
    sometimes it’s hard
    to follow your heart –
    tears don’t mean you’re losing,
    everybody’s bruising,
    there’s nothing wrong
    with who you are.

  10. debauchery* debauchery*
    posted a quote
    November 29, 2017 8:15pm EST
    I’ll never forget you – I’ll never forget our meeting, I’ll never forget your face,
    I’ll take it with me everywhere – I’ll never forget you. ♥

  11. debauchery* debauchery*
    posted a quote
    November 29, 2017 8:01pm EST
    Please leave format credit to 1986!
    Sometimes it’s enough just to say
    their names like a rosary, ordinary names
    linked by nothing but the fact
    that they belong to men who loved you.

  12. debauchery* debauchery*
    posted a quote
    November 29, 2017 7:01pm EST
    Grandfather, weary soul,
    before you die. Since our grandma passed away
    You’ve waiTeD For Forever
    soon you will die. It was the only woman
    You ever LoveD, THaT GoT BurnT BY
    she was young, and the cancer spread and it ran
    into her body and her blood,
    and there’s nothing you can do about it now.

  13. debauchery* debauchery*
    posted a quote
    November 29, 2017 4:54pm EST
    You do not have to be good.
    You do not have to walk on your knees
    For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
    You only have to let the soft animal of your body
    love what it loves

  14. debauchery* debauchery*
    posted a quote
    November 29, 2017 3:07pm EST

    It was spring when we walked together
    and you taught me the names of the flowers.
    Lily of the valley, pear blossom, Carolina jessamine.
    You turned your face to me and I felt that I had
    loved you since the billowing sheet of Chaos.
    How am I to go on living
    after having felt that?
    O, do you remember. Our many, many befores.
    Maybe you hear them, stirring
    from a room in you that is older
    than womb. You and I did carry
    candles down castle corridors as children once.
    And we baked bread, and we filled pies!
    We wore moonstone on our twisted fingers.
    You were boy and I was fish
    and when you pulled me from the water I glistened
    and your father was proud.
    In the kitchen that evening you cut a lemon
    and squeezed a sliver
    over me, giving me
    moon, rain, the promise
    that we would live again someday.
    —lyra and the thrush ; heaven fay

  15. debauchery* debauchery*
    posted a quote
    November 26, 2017 8:39pm EST
    You were not made in a man's image
    But if that's the case, why do you feel so lost
    In the empty space that his hand isn't?

  16. debauchery* debauchery*
    posted a quote
    November 24, 2017 9:11pm EST
    We drank the elbow room.
    Wandered into the wine glass.
    Cradled the birds.
    You held my yellow dress
    in your picnic hands.
    A sun was in your eyes.
    The kiss was warm and
    I could taste your teeth.
    Your mouth was a thousand
    mothers weeping.
    We ate the sad sounds,
    chewed them slow, shared
    the broken.
    We danced the slow burn.
    Tongued the wound.
    Laid the blanket.
    All was well in the hunger,
    in the wet grass.

  17. debauchery* debauchery*
    posted a quote
    November 24, 2017 8:38pm EST
    I fought for you the hardest,
    it made me the strongest,
    so tell me your secrets
    I just can’t stand to see you leaving.
    We laughed at the darkness,
    so scared that we lost it;
    we stood on the ceilings,
    you showed me
    love was all you needed.
    — Heaven

  18. debauchery* debauchery*
    posted a quote
    November 14, 2017 10:58pm EST
    i'm dead in the water,
    still looking for you.

  19. debauchery* debauchery*
    posted a quote
    November 14, 2017 10:19pm EST
    i hope you are.
    you made me happier
    somehow everything i own
    smells of you, and
    for the tiniest moment

  20. debauchery* debauchery*
    posted a quote
    November 14, 2017 9:57pm EST
    I try to live without you,
    the tears fall from my eyes;
    I’m alone and I feel empty,
    god I’m torn apart inside.
    I look up at the stars,
    hoping you’re doing the same,
    and somehow I feel closer,
    and I can hear you say
    oh... I miss you,
    oh... I need you.
    — Stay

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