I'm not going to ask you to choose me.
I refuse to do it. love you too
much to expect you to be attempt
to be happy with me. It would be
equivalent of hopping up and sitting
on your shoulders, weighing down
on you and crushing you, and then
telling you to run and expecting you
to win this metaphorical marathon
of happiness. So don’t choose me,
please. I couldn’t live with myself if
I had to watch you try to cope with
my jaggedness and brokenness
full-time. You’re an eagle, my dear,
not a pet fish. You deserve freedom
beyond the confines of having to be
saddled with someone like me. I’ll
set you free to fly again, and you will
soar up so high above me and my
fatally flawed existence, and I will be
watching from the ground with tears
on my cheeks and a hollowness in
my lonely heart that was only ever
able to be filled by you. But if one of
us has to hurt, and we do, it’s got to
be me. It’s non-negotiable. I will fall
into a constant pit of missing you
and maybe never come out. But if I
can know that you’re out there in the
world, somewhere where smiles are
free and people tell you daily how
truly wonderful you are, then I can’t
really ask you for much more.”
AtmosFEAR