in his arms
Chapter 58
“It’s a fourteen hour procedure,” the nurse informed both Anthony’s mother and I. We already knew everything we were being told, but we were listening to every word she said like our lives depended on it. “You’ll be able to see him tomorrow, or as soon as he’s stable.”
She said that like he was guaranteed to be stable again. I glanced over to him, my eyes burning from the stationary tears that waded in them.
He wasn’t nervous in the slightest. His eyes perked up to mine, and a grin stretched across his face.
“He’ll be all set to go home in about three to four days,” the nurse continued.
And suddenly, I hated the nurse. Just the sound of her voice made me want to cry.
I heard Anthony chuckle from across the room. “I’ll be alright, Kail,” he told me.
The nurse smiled to me. “He’s in good hands.”
Shut up, I wanted to say. Stop trying to act like he’s okay when you know all too well that he’s not. But all I could muster out was, “I know.”
She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, directing the smile to him now. “Are you ready to be taken into the operating room?”
I stood from my chair, my breath shortening as she wheeled his bed towards the door. I looked his entire body over and realized that this might have been the last time I’d ever get to see him. So I breathed in deeply and uttered an, “I love you.”
As the bed passed by me, I felt his hand brush mine as our eyes met. His were smiling, mine were miserable. “I love you too.”
* * *
It was the same day that Morgan had scheduled a meeting with my doctor. They had taken some blood tests, and they wanted to discuss the results with me.
Morgan and I waited in a familiar room together. I could’ve very well been in this room before, but at the same time, all the rooms looked the same.
“What do you think this is about?” I asked her.
Her eyes were on mine for a split second. “I don’t know.”
“When you were on the phone with them, did it sound like good news?”
“They didn’t tell me anything.”
“But their tone. Like, did they sound happy?”
“They sounded normal.”
She wasn’t being cooperative, so I sat back in my chair and waited. I was holding my breath, half because I was nervous about Anthony and half because I was nervous about myself as well.
Eventually, the doctor did enter the room. He greeted the both of us, and then, looking me dead in the eye, said, “So, Kaitlyn, we’re going to stop your chemotherapy treatments.”
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