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Member Since: 7 Mar 2009 09:44pm

Last Seen: 16 Aug 2011 05:49pm

user id: 69713

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i'm alice.
i'm 14
8th grade
love making quotes
haha :)..i gotts
the best of friends
(Taylorzz is my #1 bfffff :))<haha double chin!
anyway..yeahh. ask me for requests..
even though i prefer making funny quotes..
then letting u mess wit them.
but hey i can tryyy.. :-/
surveys are funnnn..haha
so you might see me doing
a lot of surveys =).
I live in NYC.
I love Twilight (so dont hate me.)
cyaa, check out my QUOTES
Aliceee <3

"Shush Girl, Shush you're lips.
Do the Hellen Keller and talk
with you're hips"


Vollyball #10
Softball #12
Basketball #24
Soccer #5

Peace. Love. Twilight




  1. Alice731 Alice731
    posted a quote
    May 9, 2009 8:04am UTC
    A pilot, Michael Jordon, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a pizza delivery man were all in a plane together travelling through stormy conditions.
    Suddenly, the pilot came running back to the passengers and announced that lightning had hit the plane, and they were going to crash in a matter of minutes. “There are only enough parachutes for four of the five of us,” he announced. “Since I’m the pilot, I get one!” After saying this, the pilot grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the plane.
    “I’m the world’s greatest athlete”, proclaimed Michael Jordon. “This world needs great athletes, so I must live.” Michael Jordon then grabbed a parachute and leaped out of the plane.
    “I’m the smarest man in the world,” bragged Bill Gates. “The world needs smart men, so I must also live!” Bill Gates grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the plane.
    At this point, the Pope began to speak. “I have lived a long life compared to you, and you may take the last parachute. I will go down with the plane.”
    “You don’t have to stay here!” replied the pizza delivery man, “The world’s smartest man jumped out of the plane with my backpack.”

  2. Alice731 Alice731
    posted a quote
    May 9, 2009 7:50am UTC
    There's this guy sitting at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and drinks it all down.
    The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man crying."
    "No, it's not that. This is the worst day of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I'm late to my office. My boss, outraged, fires me. When I leave the building, to go to my car, I find out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there but the cab had already driven away. I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife is with another man. I leave home and come to this bar. And when I'm thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison . . ."

  3. Alice731 Alice731
    posted a quote
    May 4, 2009 9:01pm UTC
    How did everyone suddenly find out how to do
    picture quotes..seriously one day there were
    like 3 picture quotes..now theres a picture quote every
    where I look. I don't really care if there are picture
    quotes on here or not, the pictures
    are always really cute, with a cute saying, so thats
    why I don't care if they are on here or not, but i'm
    just wondering, how and why did everyone start
    doing them, like did someone finally tell everyone
    how to do it, or am I just missing something?
    Thanks Guys!!!
    Alicee <3

  4. Alice731 Alice731
    posted a quote
    May 4, 2009 5:26pm UTC
    bedroom survey
    How many windows are in your room?
    What color are your walls?
    light purple
    Hardwood floor, tile, or carpet?
    Do you get ready for the day in your room or the bathroom?
    What size bed do you have?
    What does your comforter look like?
    It's a real pretty blue haha
    Is your room big?
    Not to brag..but its HUGE haha
    Is it clean?
    pretty much!
    Do you have a ceilling fan?
    Do you have a night light?
    Do you have the following in your room:
    desk {x}
    more than 3 sources of light {}
    cellphone {x}
    chair/dish chair {x}
    book shelf {x}
    dresser {x}
    TV {x}
    CD player/stereo {x}
    bean bag chair {x }
    laptop { x}
    posters {x}
    paintings {}
    pictures {x}
    walk in closet {x}
    large mirror {x}
    bed drumset { }
    bathroom {x}
    clock {x}
    clothes on the floor{}
    box of tissues {x}
    guitar {}
    lava lamp { }
    smoke detector { }
    piano/keyboard { }
    bongos { }
    a bin {x}
    locking door {x }
    can of soda {}
    bottle of water {}
    playstation or another game source { }
    a blacklight { }
    something about your own country { does a map count?}
    medals {x}
    trophies {x}
    awards {x}
    water polo ball { }
    soccer ball {x }
    softball stuff {x}
    cheerleading stuff {}
    school stuff {x}
    college stuff { }
    beach ball { x}
    over 100 cds {probably! haha }
    surround sound {x }
    sofa { x}
    flag { }
    stop sign { }
    caution tape { }
    any type of gun { }
    dog bed {}
    calendar {x}

  5. Alice731 Alice731
    posted a quote
    May 4, 2009 4:23pm UTC
    A man and his son were traveling to the bank one Saturday morning when they stopped at a corner. The little boy hearing a "Beep..Beep..Beep" and ask his dad where the sound was coming from.
    His dad replied that the sound was comming from a near by dump truck that was backing up and that sound was to warn people behind it to get out of the way.
    When they arrived at the bank the lines were long (as usual) and so they got into one of the lines behind a rather large lady.
    All of a sudden another man's beeper started to go off and the little boy with fear in his eyes said "Look out dad she's backing up!"

  6. Alice731 Alice731
    posted a quote
    May 4, 2009 4:20pm UTC
    Little Lucy went out into the garden and saw her cat Tiddles lying on the ground with its eyes shut and its legs in the air. She fetched her Dad to look at Tiddles, and on seeing the cat he said, as gently as he could, "I'm afraid Tiddles is dead, Lucy".
    "So why are his legs sticking up in the air like that, Daddy?" asked Lucy as she fought back the tears.
    At a loss for something to say the father replied, "Tiddles' legs are pointing straight up in the air so that it will be easier for Jesus to float down from heaven above and grab a leg and lift Tiddles up to heaven".
    Little Lucy seemed to take her Tiddles death quite well. However, two days later when her father came home from work Lucy had tears in her eyes and said: "Mommy almost died this morning".
    Fearing something terrible had happened the father shook the girl and shouted, "How do you mean Lucy? Tell Daddy!"
    "Well", mumbled Lucy, "soon after you left for work this morning I saw mommy lying on the floor with her legs in the air and she was shouting, "Oh Jesus!!! I'm coming, I'm coming!!!" and if it hadn't been for the milkman holding her down she would definitely have gone, Daddy".

  7. Alice731 Alice731
    posted a quote
    May 1, 2009 5:17pm UTC
    A teenager comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?"
    His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "I'll display it to you. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you've learned. "
    The kid is puzzled, but he decides to see if he can figure out what his father means. He asks his mother, "Mom, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Robert Redford?" His mother looks around slyly, and then with a little smile on her face says, "Don't tell your father, but, yes, I would."
    Then he goes to his sisters room and asks her, "Sis, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?" His sister looks up and says, "Omigod! Definitely!"
    The kid goes back to his father and says, "Dad, I think I've figured it out. Potentially, we are sitting on two million bucks, but in reality, we are living with a couple of whores."

  8. Alice731 Alice731
    posted a quote
    May 1, 2009 5:06pm UTC
    A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks.
    One day, fresh out of the shower, she is yet again in front of the mirror, now complaining that her breasts are too small.
    Uncharacteristically, the husband comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper, and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."
    Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. "How long will this take?" she asks.
    "They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies. The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?"
    The husband shrugs. "Why not, it worked for your butt, didn't it?"
    (He lived, and, with a great deal of therapy, he might walk again.)

  9. Alice731 Alice731
    posted a quote
    May 1, 2009 5:02pm UTC
    A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway?
    It's been flickering for weeks now."
    He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix the light? Now? Does it look like I have a G.E. logo printed on my forehead? I don't think so."
    "Well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right."
    To which he replied, "Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have Westinghouse written on my forehead? I don't think so."
    "Fine," she says, "Then could you at least fix the steps to the front door? They're about to break."
    "I'm not a damn carpenter and I don't want to fix the steps," he says. "Does it look like I have Ace Hardware written on my forehead? I don't think so. I've had enough of you. I'm going to the bar!!!"
    So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple hours.
    He starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go home and help out. As he walks into the house, he notices the steps are already fixed. As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is working. As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed. "Honey, how'd this all get fixed?"
    She said, "Well, when you left, I sat outside and cried.
    Just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him. He offered to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was either screw him or bake him a cake."
    He said, "So, what kind of cake did you bake him?"
    She replied, "Hellooooo... Do you see Betty Crocker written on my forehead?"

  10. Alice731 Alice731
    posted a quote
    April 30, 2009 8:44pm UTC
    A neighbor of mine was bit by a stray rabid dog.
    I went to see how he was and found him
    scribbling furiously on a notepad.
    I told him rabies could be cured and
    he didn't have to worry about writing a will.
    He said, "Will, will,... WHAT WILL?
    I'm making a list of people I'm gonna bite!!"

  11. Alice731 Alice731
    posted a quote
    April 26, 2009 12:39pm UTC
    Do you ever wish
    you hear the sounds of sirens of an ambulance
    wake up in the E.R.
    and hear the docotors say
    she isn't going to make it
    just so you can find out
    who really cares about you

  12. Alice731 Alice731
    posted a quote
    April 26, 2009 12:24pm UTC
    I wombo,
    you wombo,
    he she me wombo,
    the study of wombology.
    -Patrick Star

  13. Alice731 Alice731
    posted a quote
    April 25, 2009 5:53pm UTC
    If the person you are talking to doesn't
    appear to be listening, be patient.
    It may simply be that he
    has a small piece of fluff in his ear.
    - Winnie the Pooh

  14. Alice731 Alice731
    posted a quote
    April 24, 2009 7:26am UTC
    The struggles I’m facing, the chances I’m taking
    Sometimes they knock me down but
    No I’m not breaking
    The pain I’m knowing but these are the moments that
    I’m going to remember most yeah
    Just got to keep going
    And I, I got to be strong
    Just keep pushing on
    *The Climb Miley Cyrus*

  15. Alice731 Alice731
    posted a quote
    April 23, 2009 8:41pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  16. Alice731 Alice731
    posted a quote
    April 20, 2009 4:45pm UTC
    A ten year-old Jewish boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis; but to no avail. Finally, at the insistence of a family friend, they decided to enroll their son in a private Catholic school. After the first day, the boy's parents were surprised when he walked in after school with a stern, focused and very determined expression on his face. He went straight past them, right to his room and quietly closed the door. For nearly two hours he toiled away in his room with math books strewn about his desk and the surrounding floor. He emerged long enough to eat, and after quickly cleaning his plate, went straight back to his room, closed the door and worked feverishly at his studies until bedtime. This pattern of behavior continued until it was time for the first quarter's report card. The boy walked in with it unopened, laid it on the dinner table, and went straight to his room. Cautiously, his mother opened it and, to her amazement, she saw a large red 'A' under the subject of Math. Overjoyed, she and her husband rushed into their son's room, thrilled at his remarkable progress. "Was it the nuns that did it?" the father asked. The boy shook his head and said, "No." "Was it the one-to-one tutoring? The peer-mentoring?" "No." "The textbooks? The teachers? The curriculum?" "No", said the son. "On that first day, when I walked in the front door and saw that guy nailed to the Plus Sign, I KNEW they meant business!"

  17. Alice731 Alice731
    posted a quote
    April 19, 2009 6:07pm UTC
    Here's to
    the crap we talk, the guys we stalk,
    the way we shop, the laughs we can't stop,
    the gossip we spill, the looks that could kill,
    to havin' each others back, to the next morning gettin' the facts,
    downin' the beers and spillin' the tears...
    we'll stay together through the years!

  18. Alice731 Alice731
    posted a quote
    April 19, 2009 6:03pm UTC
    You get into the
    [ B I G G E S T ]
    fights with the people
    you care about most because
    t h o s e
    are the relationships,
    you're willing to fight for

  19. Alice731 Alice731
    posted a quote
    April 19, 2009 5:57pm UTC
    If life gives you lemons,
    shut the hell up and eat them!

  20. Alice731 Alice731
    posted a quote
    April 19, 2009 5:53pm UTC
    Should I smile because we are friends?
    Or cry because we'll never be anything more?


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