Witty Profiles

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  1. Amenah Amenah
    posted a quote
    August 6, 2013 6:08pm UTC
    I'm counting on the guys
    in my year to do that bam-got-really-attractive-over-summer thing. ♥

  2. SalemSoto SalemSoto
    posted a quote
    August 6, 2013 9:09pm UTC
    Not sure if my parents wanted kids ..or slaves.

  3. peaceinpieces peaceinpieces
    posted a quote
    August 7, 2013 12:01am UTC
    I am a jealous person.

  4. capsized* capsized*
    posted a quote
    August 7, 2013 3:57pm UTC
    does she get the same big rush,
    when you go in for a hug
    and your cheeks brush?
    Tell me am I crazy, or is this more
    than a crush?
    Please don't remove this!

  5. SalemSoto SalemSoto
    posted a quote
    August 7, 2013 8:13pm UTC
    If you're not going to speak up,
    how is the world going to know you exist ?

  6. gab* gab*
    posted a quote
    August 7, 2013 8:47pm UTC
    if you know a girl isn’t going to be enough for you,
    why make her believe that she is?

  7. ChocoTaco ChocoTaco
    posted a quote
    August 7, 2013 9:02pm UTC
    Guy: You're cute.
    Me: It's okay. I have eyesight problems too.
    Me: Here, try on my glasses, they might help you see better.
    Me: Oh, and I'll refer you to my eye doctor. He's really good.

  8. bunnylover43 bunnylover43
    posted a quote
    August 7, 2013 9:06pm UTC
    Me: * sings in the shower
    Me: I sound like beyonce omg
    *Simon Cowell walks into bathroom*
    Him: it's a no from me.

  9. spence* spence*
    posted a quote
    July 20, 2013 4:49pm UTC
    I think I missed that part
    in my childhood where I was supposed to
    have a cute boy as my best friend growing
    up and then we would end up falling in love, I want a do over.

  10. hey_itsgabby hey_itsgabby
    posted a quote
    July 26, 2013 2:56pm UTC
    Actually, the devil gave Humans critical thinking, which God didn't want.
    He wanted us not to eat from the tree of knowledge or whatever so we could basically be thought-slaves for eternity, but the devil turned the tables there with a single conversation.
    Also, the devil killed about 10 people in the Bible, where God killed about 2.3 million.
    He understands human nature but doesn't judge you for being human.
    He accepts God's unwanted children unconditionally.
    And still he's a1dickhead? why? because he can take it.
    Because he's not our hero, he's our silent guardian. A watchful protector.
    A dark knight.

  11. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    July 29, 2013 11:48pm UTC
    Reasons I don't like Justin Bieber
    1) He said that r.ape happens for a reason
    2) At Anne Frank's house, he wrote in the guestbook that he hoped "she would have been a Belieber"
    3) When asked to try being vegan, he spit out the vegan steak that was specially ordered for him
    4) He makes his fans pay tons of money to see him live, even though he could afford having the tickets be $50 instead of $100 dollars for mezzanine seats
    5) Once, he went to a childrens hospital in England and made them clear the area so he wouldn't have to wait near the sick children. He spent about 5 minutes with the children while the cameras were around and then left as soon as they wre gone.
    6) He peed in a restaurant kitchen
    7) Once, he faked a really bad asthma attack and the paramedics were called. He then proceeded to laugh is a.ss off when they came through the door. His people talked the paramedics into not saying anything because, apparently, you can go to jail for that.
    8) He wanted to go to a mall, once, and when the car came he sent it back because he didn't like the color. He then spent only 5 minutes at the mall before leaving and saying it was the sh ittiest mall he'd ever been to.
    9) He didn't show up to one of his concerts until half way through the scheduled time
    10) He's quoted to having screamed, "F.uck Bill Clinton" to cameras
    11) He attacked a paparazzi, who is suing.
    12) When he went to Vermont, he was kicked out of every business he went to (IHOP, Hannaford, Walmart, etc.)
    13) At a movie theater, he threw a huge temper tantrum when he was told that he couldn't bring his Subway sandwich into the movie, since it was against the rules. He made a mess in the theater and was carried out by one of his bodyguard, kicking and screaming.
    14) Once, he randomly showed up to Disney unannounced and demanded that the entire Yachtsman Steakhouse be cleared- reservations cancelled and all- so that he could eat there. The staff had to call every single one of the guests to tell them that their reservations they had been planning for months were cancelled and wasn’t allowed to give them an explanation. Disney also decided that it wasn’t fair to their guests and gave them free dinner at another restaurant, which obviously lost them a lot of money and business for that night.
    15) He spit on his fans
    I don't dislike him because of his voice or his music. I dislike him because he is a terrible human being.

  12. *Elena;~ ♥* *Elena;~ ♥*
    posted a quote
    August 1, 2013 1:38pm UTC
    Did you know that cats rub their faces
    against things
    that they claim as their territory so if they rub against your face
    you've just been named an honorary member of that cat’s family
    like wow thank you cat

  13. happiest* happiest*
    posted a quote
    August 2, 2013 2:41pm UTC
    am i allowed to wear a sweatshirt in like the first week of school or is that showing how much i don’t care too early

  14. bye* bye*
    posted a quote
    August 5, 2013 5:45pm UTC
    My friend and her bf just broke up and she called me crying and I was all like “You’re going to fall in love so many times before you find the one you’ll be with forever. So think of it this way; you’re one heartbreak closer to happily ever after." and I think she thought I was being deep and insightful, but really I was quoting wizards of waverly place

  15. dolph* dolph*
    posted a quote
    May 26, 2013 3:00pm UTC
    Dentist : *slaughters family in front of you*
    Dentist : they're bleeding because you don't floss

  16. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    May 26, 2013 12:41pm UTC
    Eating healthily and working out doesn't always mean you ARE healthy.
    -Being afraid of sugar, a piece of cake, or anything not clean is not "healthy"
    -Being p.ssed and anxious and upset and mad at yourself for missing one day of working out is not "healthy"
    -Your entire live revolving around food, exercising, and being healthy is not "healthy"
    Just putting that out there.

  17. ChocoTaco ChocoTaco
    posted a quote
    May 26, 2013 4:04pm UTC
    Me: *Afraid to talk on the phone*
    Me: *Afraid to answer the door for people*
    Me: *Afraid to order food*
    Me: *Afraid to be in a room with people I don't know*
    Me: *Afraid to talk to people on Witty*
    Me: *Afraid to talk to people in real life*

  18. jimmy365 jimmy365
    posted a quote
    April 7, 2013 10:06am UTC
    what i mean
    when i call a girl perfect is “wow look at how flawed you are, how broken and three dimensional and well lived. look how much of a disaster you are and how you are constantly torn between right and wrong and you make so many mistakes along the way wow look how human you are” so basically when i say she is perfect what i mean is thank god she isn't
    - my guy friend
    f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

  19. BravoSierra BravoSierra
    posted a quote
    April 8, 2013 12:55pm UTC
    BravoSierra's format
    I wish I had Kim Kardashian's talent
    of having no talent and making a lot of money because of it.

  20. ChocoTaco ChocoTaco
    posted a quote
    April 9, 2013 7:47pm UTC
    You wanna know what normal is?
    A setting on a washing machine
    No one wants to be that.


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