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  1. *mysterious.mah* *mysterious.mah*
    posted a quote
    November 12, 2015 6:48pm UTC
    Dear Life,
    When I asked if my day could get worse,
    it was a rhetorical question
    not a challenge.

  2. bye* bye*
    posted a quote
    November 27, 2013 2:21pm UTC
    a guy i know was dating this girl called kate and on their two year anniversary they like went for a picnic and it was super cute and romantic but his friends thought itd be funny to prank him by hiring a skywriter to write ‘will you marry me kate?’ in the sky and so they did and she saw it and he thought it’d be too awkward to say it actually wasnt for her so he didnt say anything and now theyre married and he still hasnt told her

  3. Chris* Chris*
    posted a quote
    October 8, 2013 3:11pm UTC
    Today in class, my male math teacher said "It seems like nowadays most teenage girls really hate themselves. It's really pathetic, actually." Out of the 27 kids in that class, 16 are girls, and no one said anything. We all just kind of sat there. And then some guy said "Well it's really not our position to judge, we never have been nor will we ever be teenage girls."

  4. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    October 20, 2013 6:15pm UTC
    I swear if no one dresses
    as Regina George from Mean Girls for Halloween and goes 'boo you w.h.o.re' i will

  5. Steve Steve
    posted a quote
    November 14, 2013 11:45am UTC
    Did you hear about the bomb in the cheese factory?
    De Brie went everywhere

  6. lithium* lithium*
    posted a quote
    October 4, 2013 8:08pm UTC
    me: I'm cold
    dad: hi cold, I'm dad
    *dads of the world unite in uproarious laughter*

  7. happiest* happiest*
    posted a quote
    September 27, 2013 2:14pm UTC
    if you locked your boyfriend and your dog in a trunk for a week and then opened it the boyfriend would probably be pis.sed but the dog would be happy to see you also known as reasons why dogs are better than boyfriends

  8. Cammie Cammie
    posted a quote
    October 13, 2013 1:03pm UTC
    today during class this guy kept reaching into his bag and my teacher was like put your phone up and he didn’t and she was like kenny give me your phone or you’re going to the office and he was like its not a phone and then pulled out a bucket of fried chicken.

  9. BravoSierra BravoSierra
    posted a quote
    November 22, 2013 12:07am UTC
    mom: brianna, why is there a guy climbing up to your balcony?
    me: he's my romeo coming to find his juliet.
    me: just kidding call the cops.

  10. yourcool yourcool
    posted a quote
    December 31, 2013 3:19pm UTC
    if anyone ever tells you that
    you suck, look them straight in the eyes and say "not for free"

  11. happiest* happiest*
    posted a quote
    November 22, 2013 3:11pm UTC
    apparently this kid at our school saw a kitten before getting on the bus so he just. picked it up. and stuffed it in his hood and he had it in the hood the entire day and it just took naps and he fed it his milk during lunch and every time the cat meowed one of the other kids would like cough or sneeze or shuffle so the teacher couldnt hear it and he even let it walk around on the tables in one class and the teacher never saw it it was so precious life is amazing

  12. happiest* happiest*
    posted a quote
    December 14, 2013 3:23pm UTC
    I sit next to a popular sports boy in my math class and he was sleeping so i leaned over and doodled a flower on his paper and the first time he didn’t wake up but the second time he did & smiled at me and later in class i saw he had doodled a whole tiny meadow around the 2 flowers and he was trying to hide it but it didn’t work..i know ur secret popular sports boy, u are just as dorky & cute as everyone else

  13. happiest* happiest*
    posted a quote
    September 16, 2013 4:03pm UTC
    this kid that sits next to me in math class said to me today, “you’re my favorite person at this table because u don’t talk to anyone and u just sit there” and I said ” I don’t know how to respond to that” and he replied with “that’s because u don’t talk”

  14. happiest* happiest*
    posted a quote
    December 24, 2013 2:45pm UTC
    This boy at Target asked if I would hold his hand because his ex girlfriend just walked in with a new guy, so naturally I felt bad and held his hand while strolling around Target for a bit. Then it donned on me, with no other couple in sight, that was the best damn pick up line ever pulled

  15. CharliesTheName CharliesTheName
    posted a quote
    September 21, 2013 6:32pm UTC
    I saw this on tumblr and thought that this was absolutely amazing
    Convo between my 7 year old students today:
    Josie: I have a new crushhhhh
    Matt: Me too! On a boy!
    Pearl: You're a boy with a crush on a boy?
    Matt: Yeah, he's really cute.
    Pearl: Oh.
    (pause for a bit)
    Matt: Boys can like boys. I just can't marry him because boys can't marry boys.
    Me: Yes they can. You can marry whoever you want.
    Matt: Really?
    Josie: YEAH! My tia has a wife and now I have a titi and an auntie.
    Matt: Okay. Then maybe I'll marry him.
    Dave: (from across the room) No you can't, you're seven.
    Age was apparently the only foreseeable problem anyone
    of my elementary schoolers could see with gay marriage

  16. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    October 14, 2013 4:20pm UTC
    That awkward moment
    when you're doing your homework and suddenly your pencil turns into a computer mouse and you've already reblogged 10 photos from Tumblr and liked your best friends cover photo on Facebook and updated your status on Twitter and before you know it half and hour has gone by and you still need to complete your homework..
    I still don't know where my pencil is though.

  17. BlackButterflies BlackButterflies
    posted a quote
    September 28, 2013 7:15pm UTC
    so there's "hey you're cute, i'd make out with you" crushes
    but then there's "my god you're so cute i'd make out with you and hold your hand and buy you stupid presents and meet your family and watch movies with you and please text me first i just want to hug you forever you smell really good" crushes

  18. DEADWEIGHT DEADWEIGHT
    posted a quote
    September 15, 2014 1:06am UTC
    Dogs look up at us
    Cats look down on us
    And pigs treat us as equals.

  19. *blushes* *blushes*
    posted a quote
    August 16, 2014 5:30am UTC
    There's
    no need for
    having
    nightmares
    if you are
    living
    them.

  20. formerlyknownas formerlyknownas
    posted a quote
    November 26, 2013 2:46pm UTC
    leave format credit, this format was made by formerlyknownas
    DO NOT REMOVE THIS
    please do not use on a site other than witty, do not use for your profiles/layouts, just use for quotes
    format (c) formerlyknownas
    I am a lover without a lover.
    I am lovely and lonely
    and I belong deeply to myself.
    leave format credit, this format was made by formerlyknownas
    DO NOT REMOVE THIS
    please do not use on a site other than witty, do not use for your profiles/layouts, just use for quotes
    format (c) formerlyknownas

:)

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